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Ragitsu

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"Tek-neek? What bull you spoutin bout, boy? Git in there and HYEET him!"

 

All this "Dun't worry bout no fancy-schmancy technique, buoy, just het im!" is macho bull*** The reason that combatives teachers don't focus on polishing their students' techniques is because they're usually teaching people who are trying to learn as much as they can in a course lasting no more than a few weeks, and they don't have time to teach dozens of techniques and then fine-tune them.

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1. Strength, speed, size, training, and weapons have nothing to do with who wins a fight. What does? Who knows?

2. Human skulls are invincible and will instantly break the hand of anyone trying to punch them.

3. Championship fighters are no better prepared for a street fight than the average 90-pound nerd who has never been in a fight.

4. 90-pound nerds who have read about "dirty fighting" on the Internet can easily kill trained sport fighters.

5. Things like stance, footwork, and other matters of technical correctness are just "pretty technique" that doesn't work in a real fight. They don't actually have any purpose, such as helping you maintain balance, transferring maximum force into the opponent, or providing defensive cover in order to protect you.

6. Some people, roleplayers in particular, are so full of armchair expertise that they cannot grasp the fact that when someone asks what it's like to be in a fight, they want to hear from someone who has actually been in a fight.

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You're a Redneck Elf if...

... your unicorn's saddles comes with mud-flaps

... you think your cousins in Rivendell are "city slickers"

... you own a trucker hat, custom-tailored for pointed ears

... your family tree goes back 10,000 years, but never forks

... your keen elven senses are mostly used to sniff out tailgate parties

... your treetop city has at least one meth lab

... you spend nights at the bar riding the mechanical minotaur

... instead of lembas bread, you eat Chicken-in-a-Biscuit

... you wear a Toby Keith t-shirt over your mithril armor

... you own a bumper sticker that says, "You can take my long bow when you pry it from my cold, dead, finely manicured hands!"

 

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