SSgt Baloo

Re: Jokes One more from the same site: Fighter Pilots Q: How do you know if there is a fighter pilot at your party? A: He'll tell you. Q: What's the difference between God and fighter pilots A: God doesn't think he's a fighter pilot. Q: What's the difference between a fighter pilot and a jet engine? A: A jet engine stops whining when the plane shuts down.

Re: Jokes [Emphasis added] #14 happened to me when I was in the 4th grade! Just a couple I found at this site: An Air Force cargo plane was preparing for departure from Thule Air Base in Greenland. They were waiting for the truck to arrive to pump out the aircraft's sewage holding tank. The Aircraft Commander was in a hurry, the truck was late in arriving, and the Airman performing the job was extremely slow in getting the tank pumped out. When the commander berated the Airman for his slowness and promised punishment, the Airman responded: "Sir, I have no stripes, it is 20 below zero, I'm stationed in Greenland, and I am pumping sewage out of airplanes. Just what are you going to do to punish me?" ____________ The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks, interviews, and testing were done, there were three finalists. two men and a woman. For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follow our instructions, no matter what the circumstances. Inside this room, you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Kill Her!!!" The man said, "You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife." The agent said, "Then you're not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home." The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes. Then the man came out with tears in his eyes. "I tried, but I can't kill my wife." The agent said, "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home." Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one shot after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow. "This gun is loaded with blanks", she said. "I had to beat him to death with the chair."

Re: Whoops! Did I really allow that power? If it makes you feel any better, I got it in one. That GM has my sympathy. If he's smart, he learned from that experience. If he quit GMing, then maybe he wasn't cut out for the job.

Re: Genre-crossover nightmares The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies No, wait... It's been done.

Lost in the distant past? That T-Rex might want to eat your friends, but he'll lay off just because you asked him not to. Meet a hungry tiger in the wilderness? He'll help you find your way to civilization and protect you from other predators along the way. Find yourself facing down guard dogs at the Mad Scientist's lab? No problem, since they'll just want to lie on their backs and hope you rub their bellies. Inspired in part by the TV Trope: All Animals Are Dogs, I was wondering how to model a similar superability where any animal you meet interacts with you as if you were their master and they (of course) were friendly, well-behaved and obedient. I'm not sure how I'd go about it, but I'm sure there are a multitude of ways to make it happen. I eagerly await your replies.

Re: Jokes Q: What do you name a dog with no legs? A: It don't matter, he won't come when you call anyways.

Re: Jokes Two lawyers arrive at the pub and ordered a couple of drinks. They then take sandwiches from their briefcases and began to eat. Seeing this, the angry publican approaches them and says, 'Excuse me, but you cannot eat your own sandwiches in here!' The two look at each other, shrug and exchange sandwiches.

Re: Jokes A long time ago there was a king who lived in the South Pacific who was so rich he lived in a split-level hut. Every year his people would bring him tribute in the form of a throne made from rare and expensive materials. Upon receipt, the new throne would be put in the throne room and the old throne would be put in the attic. One day, the accumulated weight of the old thrones became too much for the king's house and it collapsed, killing everyone inside. The moral of this story? _________________ There was once a pediatrician who was also an amateur magician. Every day he would go into the pediatric ward and drive the children to distraction with his cheesy act. The children wanted to put a stop to it but were afraid the doctor would become angry if they just told him to knock it off. One day, a clever child tricked the doctor into turning himself into an apple. The child then quickly scooped up the apple, stuffed it into a specimen cup and clapped the lid on. The children were simultaneously overjoyed and worried. "He's gone, but what if the doctor changes back? He'll be mad at us for sure!" One of the children who was ready to be discharged said: "There's an old guy who lives just up the street from me and everyone says he's a wizard. Why don't I take the apple to him and he can tell me how to keep the doctor from changing back?" The other children agreed. That very day the child took the specimen cup to the wizard. The wizard was very thorough. He peered at the cup with a magnifying lense. He consulted dusty old tomes with parchment pages. After much consideration, he handed the cup back to the child, and gave him a set of scales and some weights. He told the child "If you wish the doctor never to return you must do exactly as I say. Every day just after sunrise, you must use these scales to weigh the apple." The child was puzzled. At the very least he expected the wizard to utter an incantation and wave his hands a bit. He asked, "Wait a minute! That's it? All I have to do is weigh this", he held up the cup "and the doctor won't change back? How does it work?" The old man said: "My child, it's very simple: A weigh a day keeps the doctor an apple ."

Re: Jokes Two cannibals were sitting down to dinner. One of them heaved a heavy sigh. His friend asks: "What's the matter?" He replies: "Oh, I just hate my mother-in-law!" His friend replies: "So? Then just eat the vegetables."

Re: Genre-crossover nightmares "My Name is Mr. Ed"

Re: Jokes Which came first, the Chicken or the Egg? [Answer spoilered due to questionable taste.]

Re: Water-based transformation I think you are, but now I'm laughing.

Re: Nets? For a bit more (non-hero) information I offer the following links: Net-using Gladiators: Retiarii Wikipedia entry: Retiarius Article: The Roman Gladiator Note that the Iaculum (net weapon) was used in the off hand while a trident was wielded in the favored hand. The net had both offensive and defensive uses. Note that I am not suggesting that nets were only used as weapons by gladiators, but that they need not be a two-handed weapon.

Re: Genre-crossover nightmares Mid-life Crisis on Infinite Earths

Re: Supers: How'd they get that way (and why do so many of them wear long johns?) You've pretty much expressed what I was getting at, but in more detail and with more examples. Any points of friction I have are probably just semantics and not particularly relevant. Good job! And there you have it. In my example in the OP, I wasn't justifying costume-wearing superheroes and supervillains, but just trying to create a plausible explanation for why they do wear costumes. If there are no costumes, it's not about Superheroes, but People with Powers. I also noted that there were others who dealt with their new "super-ness" more rationally than the majority. That way you can occasionally have the automobile mechanic who KNOWS what's wrong with your car before you can tell him, or the wall-street tycoon who seems to know exactly when and what to buy or sell. ETA: Somebody rep these guys for me, huh? I'm still out from yesterday.

Re: The Emergence Of Superhumans That depends. Are we talking Karl or Groucho?

More recommended reading I checked out the following title from the library and found it to be a different, but interesting take on the Golden Age: Truth: Red White & Black. It's about the US Government trying to recreate the Super Soldier treatment after Professor Rheinstein's death. It's grim, but still a good look at race relations during WW II.

Inspired by This Other Thread, I began thinking about how do people get superpowers in your worlds? In my campaigns, I just assumed that being "super" was more than just genetics. A "super" of any sort would normally not become "super" until after some emotionally or physically traumatic event that, had they not quickly manifested their powers, would have resulted in permanent madness or death. Of course, if you subjected multiple persons to such an event you would most likely have accumulated any number of dead bodies and traumatized survivors before you ever saw "results" that produced a "real" super. A small minority of the relatively undamaged survivors would just learn to deal with it and make as rational a decision as they could with regard to how to use their newly-discovered abilities. Most people who become super cope their new circumstances in one of two ways: Either they become drunk with power (often without regard to the actual amount of power they now possess) and decide to exploit their newfound advantages for personal gain or they decide to champion some cause or set of beliefs they believed in before (or came to believe shortly after) the event. Mind you, persons from either group may be percieved as heroes or villains, depending upon the means they use to pursue their various ends, whether their deeds and words uphold some social ideals or oppose others, etc. Among super-powered individuals, there is a very large subset to whom it seems a good idea to don a distinctive costume when pursuing their new avocation. Supers are usually much crazier than "normal" folks. The unwashed masses are generally so relieved Captain Paragon isn't bent on World Domination(TM) that they aren't overly worried about his choice of wardrobe, so long as it does not blatantly flaunt the mores of their culture. That's pretty much it, without the nuts, bolts, bells and whistles. Anyone else care to describe how their world's supers got that way (without getting excessively technical)?

Re: The Emergence Of Superhumans I'd rep you, but I seem to be out for now.

Re: My mostly hard sci-fi campaign I'd rep you, but it's too soon since I emptied my repstick. Perhaps someone else will be so kind...? Reminds me of the "organlegging" that took place in some of Larry Niven's stories. Originally, only capital crimes such as murder were punishable by "parting out" convicted criminals. As demand for body parts outstripped supply, society's punishments for various crimes became harsher, and the number of crimes which could result in disassembly expanded to include fairly minor crimes (by today's standards) such as jaywalking or, presumably, spitting on the sidewalk. The demand for replacement parts became so great as to support a thriving black market in human body parts. Of course, while it made for an interesting story premise, I'd like to think that even the rich are not so morally bankrupt as to assume that people below a certain economic level exist only as an exploitable resource.

Re: A DC Animated-style HeroMachine

Re: Golden Age resources: whatever you can think of. Things they glossed over when I was in school: Social Darwinism Racial Hygeine Eugenics Movement Fascism German-American Bund I include these not because I approve, but that society on both sides of this conflict held some of these beliefs in common.

Re: New Product: Sex and Sorcery [rpg supplement] My favorite quote from Flesh Gordon: The Scientist steps out of the rocketship, inhales deeply, exhales noisily, smiles and pronounces: "Good! There's oxygen on this planet!"

Re: A DC Animated-style HeroMachine Somebody whack this guy with a repstick for me, eh? I can't wield mine for a few hours yet and I probably won't be in the library by then.

Re: A Thread for Random Mooings It sure is! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bWe1KvHzVx4