Pariah

Is there an echo in here? Is there an echo in here? Is there an echo in here?

The man who'll blow your brains out is Marshal Zane Cooper. You've probably heard of him, I know what you're thinking, he's old and decrepit, gums his food AND his women, but he can still shoot straight. After you is ugly Annie Bransford. When she was born, she came out backwards and no one noticed. Hell, when she was little, her parents had to tie a pork chop around her neck so the dog would play with her. When she's making love, she has to pretend SHE'S someone else!

"Love is never having to say you're sorry." "That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard."

Because those who fail to learn from history are doomed to repeat it, perhaps?

Wasn't it their habit of dropping everything at 4:00 every day for tea?

"You are NOT a god!" "Why don't you pull the trigger and find out?"

What's a record?

"Oh, Seaweed, you do care! I was afraid the colors of our skin would keep us apart." "No... but these knots might. Was your mom in the Navy?"

Well, love is a gift, a lot of people don't remember that. So, you two better brace yourselves for a whole lotta ugly comin' at you from a neverending parade of stupid.

The biggest problem I had with Neelix was that he just wasn't interesting. He was there pretty much there as an appendage to Kes--and Kes wasn't that interesting, either. In all, though, I thought Voyager had a good group of characters. Tom Paris was great, and having him take newbie Harry Kim under his wing made for some cool stories. I liked Janeway quite well when the writers weren't using her as a straw feminist (not that she was ever as bad as Samantha Carter in the first few episodes of SG-1). Tuvok and even Chakotay were interesting in their own ways. And Robert Picardo played the Doctor brilliantly. The cast--both actors and characters--had real potential. Too bad the writing was so inconsistent.

This year has been a little crazy for the Andersons You may recall we had some trouble last year The robot council had us banished to an asteroid That hasn't undermined our holiday cheer And we know it's almost Christmas By the marks we make on the wall That's our favorite time of year Merry Christmas from Chiron Beta Prime Where we're working in a mine for our robot overlords Did I say overlords? I meant protectors Merry Christmas from Chiron Beta Prime On every corner there's a giant metal Santa Claus Who watches over us with glowing red eyes They carry weapons and they know if you've been bad or good Not everybody's good, but everyone tries And the rocks outside the airlocks Exude ammonia-scented snow It's like a winter wonderland Merry Christmas from Chiron Beta Prime Where we're working in a mine for our robot overlords Did I say overlords? I meant protectors Merry Christmas from Chiron Beta Prime That's all the family news that we're allowed to talk about We really hope you'll come and visit us soon I mean, we're literally begging you to visit us And make it quick before they [MESSAGE REDACTED] Now it's time for Christmas dinner I think the robots sent us a pie You know I love my Soylent Green Merry Christmas from Chiron Beta Prime Where we're working in a mine for our robot overlords Did I say overlords? I meant protectors Merry Christmas from Chiron Beta Prime

I didn't make this, but it's worth sharing.

Cancer can go straight to Hell. (Not you, Professor.)

In the Star Trek family, Voyager is that odd sibling that the others suspect of having Multiple Personality Disorder. There were some fantastic episodes, to be certain. There was also "Threshold", the less said about which, the better. The writing was uneven, and Robert Beltran clearly phoned in most of the last 5½ season as Chakotay. But Voyager definitely had its great moments. I thought "Endgame" was a great finale.

Q: This place looks like a tornado went through it, and then a band of Orcs looted whatever was left! How did this happen? A: A little trinitrotoluene will clear that right up.

Christmastime is here, by golly Disapproval would be folly Deck the halls with hunks of holly Fill the cup, and don't say when Kill the turkeys, ducks, and chickens Mix the punch, drag out the Dickens Even though the prospect sickens Brother, here we go again On Christmas day, you can't get sore Your fellow man you must adore There's time to rob him all the more The other three hundred and sixty-four Relations sparing no expense'll Send some useless old utensil Or a matching pen and pencil Just the thing I need, how nice It doesn't matter how sincere it Is, or how heartfelt the spirit Sentiment will not endear it What's important is the price Hark the Herald-Tribune sings Advertising wondrous things God rest ye merry merchants May ye make the yuletide pay Angels we have heard on high Tell us to go out and buy So, let the raucous sleigh bells jingle Hail our dear old friend, Kris Kringle Driving his reindeer across the sky Don't stand underneath when they fly by

Vast cosmic power . . . itty-bitty living space.

Everyone knows that.

Don't you mean 'thingamadoodle'?

When the sun went down You were sitting under someone else's sunset And I wasn't around And you were wishing that I was a guy that you'd just met And I was probably stumbling down some back street alley in Amsterdam While you were making excuses and breaking another heart Or maybe I was drinking wine with the pigeons in a square in Venice And I was wondering what you're doing And wondering where you are When the stars came out I was sitting in a studio on Sunset And the lights were down And I was wishing the time we had wasn't over yet And you were probably sitting in the airport waiting on a plane to Vegas While I was packing a suitcase staring at a waiting car Or maybe you were heading out to some house party on Lake Austin And I was wondering what you're doing And wondering where you are When my luck ran out I was sitting on a concrete block in Little Rock We didn't scream or shout We just said good-bye And I waited for the click And the lights went out And now I'm packing it up and I'm rollin' on out to Vancouver For some wasted youth and a fresh set of lonely stars And I'm wondering baby, if you ever saw the best of us And I'm wondering what you're doing And wondering where you are I still wonder what you're doing And wonder where you are

Wait, when did we stop using ångströms?

Why not Kelvins?

Colonel Sanders. His motive for doing so? Only the Colonel knows.

The Oakland Raiders and the Dallas Cowboys square off in Super Bowl LI. New Topic: Uh oh, your favorite superhero is on Santa's Naughty List. What did they do? (The more entertaining, the better.)

Well, ya see, I'm not saying that I've been everywhere and I've done everything, but I do know it's a pretty amazing planet we live on here, and a man would have to be some kind of FOOL to think we're alone in THIS universe.