Pariah

Don't force it; get a larger hammer.

To my face, or behind my back?

Well, I rise up every morning at a quarter to eight Some woman who's my wife tells me not to be late I kiss the kids goodbye, I can't remember their names And week after week, it's always the same And it's Ho, boys, can't you code it, and program it right Nothing ever happens in the life of mine I'm hauling up the data on the Xerox line Then it's code in the data, give the keyboard a punch Then cross-correlate and break for some lunch Correlate, tabulate, process and screen Program, printout, regress to the mean And it's Ho, boys, can't you code it, and program it right Nothing ever happens in the life of mine I'm hauling up the data on the Xerox line Then it's home again, eat again, watch some TV Make love to my woman at ten-fifty-three I dream the same dream when I'm sleeping at night I'm soaring over hills like an eagle in flight And it's Ho, boys, can't you code it, and program it right Nothing ever happens in the life of mine I'm hauling up the data on the Xerox line Someday I'm gonna give up all the buttons and things I'll punch that time clock till it can't ring Burn up my necktie and set myself free Cause no'one's gonna fold, bend or mutilate me. And it's Ho, boys, can't you code it, and program it right Nothing ever happens in the life of mine I'm hauling up the data on the Xerox line

Effort is important, but ultimately results matter.

The headache's back. I don't suppose dissolving Alka-Seltzer in Pepsi is a good idea....

Haven't they always?

Put your [REDACTED] phone down and drive.

Okay, well, I guess we'll keep the venues. There are four new ones, by the way. Thank you all for your input!

Get Logan on the horn, will you?

All right, everyone. After looking at the poll results and reading the comments, plus taking my own thoughts into account, I've decided to keep the Whim of Fate, but to change it slightly to allow for more variety without making it completely unbalancing. I hope. The Whim of Fate will now be 2d6. This roll (which, mechanically, will be easier for me--d4s are a big pain in the neck to pick up!) will be added to the vote total for each competitor to determine the outcome of the match. We may see more unusual results this way, which would be fine. Or we may not. We'll just have to see. Thanks to everyone who voted. I appreciate your input!

All right, I'm starting to get things organized, hopefully with brackets to come later today. But first, let me introduce you to four new venues for the Street Level tournament. (We'll also use a few from the Under 21 tournament, by the way.) 1313 Raven Circle This old mansion was built in the late 1870s by a wealthy, eccentric family. They were rumored to be involved in the occult, although no evidence to support this suspicion was ever confirmed. As time went on, updates were made to the house: indoor plumbing, electricity, even an elevator. The family’s descendants still own the house, although nobody has actually lived in it since the Reagan administration. The house has nearly 90,000 square feet of space and almost a hundred rooms over three floors (and at least one basement; rumors of a second and third sub-basement have never been seriously investigated). It is surrounded by a beautifully-manicured lawn and grounds. This mansion has it all: creaky doors, wobbly staircases, hidden rooms, secret passages, and lights that flicker for no readily apparent reason. Oh, and the house is believed to be haunted by the ghost of the architect who designed the home and then disappeared under mysterious circumstances. Matches at this venue begin at sundown. Contestants start at random places in the house. Chicagoland Resort and Casino The newest mega-casino and hotel on the Strip, Chicagoland seeks to recreate the excitement and mystery of Chicago in the Roaring 20s. Jazz, booze, Art Deco, and a sense of the forbidden all contribute to the ambience that permeates the resort. The facility features three world-class restaurants, plus an all-you-can-eat buffet that features deep dish pizza. There is a large auditorium, two smaller theaters, and numerous stages for live music performances. There is convention and meeting space, as well as a productivity and printing office. There are hundreds of rooms on twenty-seven floors spread over several towers, all designed to mimic Chicago’s famous skyline. And, of course, there is the gaming floor. There are tables for craps, roulette, blackjack, and poker; a sports betting lounge; and rows upon rows of slot machines. Matches at Chicagoland begin at 2:00 a.m., just as the crowds are beginning to thin out. One contestant will begin somewhere on the gaming floor; the other will begin elsewhere in the complex. Desperation Alley Officially known as the Brown Street neighborhood, Desperation Alley is the darkest, most dangerous place in Century City. Fifty years ago, this area was filled with brownstones, modern apartment buildings, and family-owned shops. What a difference half a century makes. Today, the streets and buildings are in disrepair, and most of the shops are boarded up. The whole area is blighted and plagued by crime. The only people who live there are those too poor or too disadvantaged to leave. Homelessness is rampant, and the area’s three shelters are less than adequate. Drug dealers, hookers and pimps, fencers, gang-bangers, and other criminals effectively run the neighborhood. There is a strong police presence here, but it’s not nearly enough. Matches here begin at dusk. Port Angelo Harbor One of the largest shipping facilities in the region, the harbor district in Port Angelo sees dozens of ships arrive and depart each day. There are docks, warehouses, cranes, trucks, rail lines, and all the other facilities necessary to process and distribute the thousands of tons of cargo the city ships out and receives each day. The warehouses are crowded and noisy; the piers are old but solid. This isn’t a place to bring tourists; it’s a place to get things done. Matches here begin in the pier area around 9:00 p.m.

They're going to be on opposite sides of the bracket, as it turns out. If they do meet, it'll be in the finals.

How about a Gatling gun version of Stargate's staff weapon?

If this day were a fish, I'd throw it back.

Wouldn't I look cool with a couple of hook swords?

Hit

You have my sympathies, Old Man.

Called it!

Australia has over 25,000 different kinds of creatures that can kill you. Bazza can communicate telepathically with all of them.

Illegitimi non carborundum.

Okay, I've tallied the votes, calculated the seeding, and laid out the bracket. We have what I can only describe as a very unfortunate match in the opening round. I'll post the bracket and the first round matchups tomorrow!

Maybe he won Jessica's heart by serenading her with romantic violin music?

aylwin13 has a solar-powered flashlight.

So this is love, or so you tell me As you're walkin', out the door The months go by, and I know for certain It's not the love, I'm lookin' for Some times, just for a moment, I reach out, hope you're still there Miles away, No, you're never turnin' back, I just can't wait anymore Miles away, Nothin' left of what we had, Just when I needed you most You were miles away It's hard to tell, what you're goin' through You kept your feelings locked inside of you Open your heart, and chances are What you're feelin', I'm feelin' too If only, just for a moment Hold on, to the dreams that we had Miles away, No, you're never turnin' back, I just can't wait anymore Miles away, Nothin' left of what we had, Just when I needed you most You were miles away When times were tough, and you were down and out Who was there by your side? Now you've gone, I'm so tired of bein' alone With only your promises The lonliness just fades away, Thoughts of you, just memories No cryin' now, for what we're missin' Time won't forget what you meant to me If you hold me, just for a moment Hold on, to the dreams that we had Miles away, No, you're never turnin' back, I just can't wait anymore Miles away, Nothin' left of what we had, Just when I needed you the most, whoa-oh Miles away, No, you're never turnin' back, I just can't wait anymore Miles away, Nothin' left of what we had, Just when I needed you most You were miles away

Inverse