Pariah

Q - Did you really just sell the Department of Defense a neutron flow accelerator? A - He's got all the bricks, he's just missing the mortar.

"Debugging is like being the detective in a crime movie where you are also the murderer." -Felipe Fortes

Shock

Never pass up a chance to eat, sleep, or pee. You can never be certain when the next one will come around.

Well a Scotsman clad in kilt left a bar one evening fair And one could tell by how we walked that he'd drunk more than his share He fumbled round until he could no longer keep his feet Then he stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh He stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street About that time two young and lovely girls just happend by And one says to the other with a twinkle in her eye "See yon sleeping Scotsman so strong and handsome built I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the kilt" Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh "I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the kilt" They crept up on that sleeping Scotsman quiet as could be Lifted up his kilt about an inch so they could see And there behold, for them to see, beneath his Scottish skirt Was nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh Was nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth They marveled for a moment, then one said, "We must be gone Let's leave a present for our friend, before we move along" As a gift they left a blue silk ribbon, tied into a bow Around the bonnie star, the Scot's kilt did lift and show Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh Around the bonnie star, the Scot's kilt did lift and show Now the Scotsman woke to nature's call and stumbled towards the trees Behind a bush, he lift his kilt and gawks at what he sees And in a startled voice he says to what's before his eyes. "O lad I don't know where you've been but I see you won first prize!" Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh "O lad I don't know where you've been but I see you won first prize!"

...next term, yes.

Vietnam

Don't use a stake. Use fire.

Byte

Drill

Who's Starlord?

Job hunting is the worst (or maybe second worst, right behind moving). I'd rather have another root canal. Good luck, gewing.

Well said, Dr. Sisyphus. On the other hand, it's worth remembering this old nugget of wisdom: "You can lead a kid to college, bit you can't make 'em think."

Dave

Irish

Cross-posted from Funny Pics:

Obviously a little biased, but let me recommend The Elements: A Visual Exploration of Every Known Atom in the Universe by Theodore Gray Beautiful photography and engaging prose make this a wonderful introduction to the chemical elements.

You're just trolling Jeff #1 now, aren't you?

"You're lucky I'm using mangoes. My instructor used coconuts."

The letter "E", anyone?

There are other Chris Tucker movies?

I never cease to be amazed at the number of my students who don't realize that NaCl dissolves in water. YOU LIVE ON THE SHORES OF THE LARGEST SALTWATER LAKE IN THE WESTERN HEMISPHERE, YOU IMBECILES! Okay, I'm done.

Q: What kind of peppers are in your Smoldering Death salsa? A: A female deer, a drink with jam and bread, and a drop of golden sun.

It's good to hear from you, HM. I don't really know what to say, and things like "Be well" sound woefully inadequate. But I wish you the best. I think I can say that we all do.

Super