Pariah

This is why we need renewable energy, IMHO. Without the lure of petroleum, we'd really have no compelling reason to be involved in the Middle East any more. They want us out; we'd be able to oblige and not have to send billions of dollars to nations with hostile and abusive governments. Win-win.

Red

In the past month, my longest and highest-scoring words in Words With Friends have been "stroking" and "jihad", respectively. I think "Stroking Jihad" would be a great name for a punk band.

Highway

Life is the future, not the past.

There's a time for peace and quiet, and there's a time to crank it up.

Let's all just hope that "Land War in Asia" isn't next on the agenda.

Secretary

So, I've decided to run a full 32-character tournament for the Open Class. May Heaven have mercy on my soul. Here's the difficulty: We have 30 characters with six or more votes. All of these characters are definitely in. We also have five characters with five votes--to fill two available slots. So here's what we're going to do: We're going to have a poll for just these five characters to determine who gets the last two places. Voting begins right now and will continue until 5:00 p.m. EDT on Saturday, April 8th. The top two are in. If there is still a tie at that point, I'll let the Whim of Fate decide. Our five contestants are: Atomic Robo: Tesla's greatest gift to mankind! Hawkman: High-flying champion of another place and time! Plastic Man: Wise-cracking shape-shifter and detective! Psylocke: Purple-haired British ninja telepath! Thundra: Warrior woman and time-traveler! Please vote for two of the five fine heroes. If they're going to compete, they need your support now more than ever!

"Give my regards to King Tut, a******!"

Far away in outer space A traveller from another world left his dying race He found our planet, full of life In the body of a little boy he could survive And Ra will live forever He gains his powers from afar And built a gateway to the stars I have finally found the key To chart a course to the other side of the galaxy I need to find the seventh sign Carved into the cover stones of an ancient time And Ra will live forever He draws his powers from afar And built a gateway to the stars Unaware of our coming fate We disappear through the ancient gate We arrive in a desert land And set up camp on the burning sand Behold, a thousand slaves Mining ores in the planet's caves They give us shelter from the storm Then Ra appears in a human form Ooh, up there in space The Eye of Ra is watching over us A tall ship descends from the sky Lasers flare and many men die A bloody battle has begun We must destroy this 'king of the sun' Ooh, up there in space The Eye of Ra is watching over us Ooh, an alien race The Eye of Ra is watching over us We have found the seventh sign Down in the catacombs When the seven points align They will lead us all back home

Shock

Gas

Yeah, what ever happened to the Fifth Horseman, Faceless Bureaucracy?

Irish

Three pretenders forced their entry There wasn't time to defend or attack Somewhere inside I held their fury But one by one my defenses began to crack The first became a voice from my childhood Without a world to call his own Asking questions but doubting the answers And too confused to stand up and face it alone I can feel my body tremble Like an animal under the gun Can you feel your body tremble Look in and see the eyes of Three Pretenders The second came a shadowy hustler Selling anything not nailed to the ground He put a price on my resistance And if it's high, I know he'll be marking it down The third became a mysterious traveller Stormy words like sea-weathered sails His life was scarred with peaks and valleys A haunted kingdom crumbling against the gales I can feel my body tremble Like a child afraid of the dark Can you feel your body tremble Look in and see the eyes of Three Pretenders

Three-year-old at bedtime

Really good for whom?

Fraud

Drugs, man

I loved that article. The man really had a way with words.

In reality, Death Tribble is neither a tribble nor dead.

How to Live Safely in a Science Fictional Universe by Charles Yu This story is told as a first person narrative, and the protagonist (who has the same name as the author) is a time machine repairman. His story is, therefore, nonlinear. With numerous references to physics and language, he discusses the difficulties of living outside of time. He frequently mentions two companions: TAMMY, the melancholy computer operating system who runs his time machine, and a nonexistent but ontologically valid dog named Ed. He writes about receiving a book (which has the same name as the novel) from his future self, whom he then shoots, trapping himself in a time loop. Confusing? Yes, more than a bit so. Mostly, though, the book as about his efforts to find and connect with his family, especially his father, something he never managed to do in the past. I found it a challenging read, but worth the effort.

SCUBA

Never ask someone if they're an anti-vaxxer. (See above.)