Pariah

Nine

Nine

Two weeks off!

Flower gleam and glow Let your power shine Make the clock reverse Bring back what once was mine Heal what has been hurt Change the Fates' design Save what has been lost Bring back what once was mine What once was mine

Rocky

Chemistry, of course. Chemistry is alchemy that actually works. Philosopher Three-way: Plato vs. Aristotle vs. Socrates!

Man U

The Cowboys would win, and then be castigated for the next hundred and fifty years for killing Indians. Shape-shifting showdown! White Martians (DC) vs. The Founders (DS9)

Spice

Jumbo shrimp

"Even an ordinary life is awesome if you're with the people you love."

Too much information

Doctor

He calls you out by name during a press conference.

I like herbal tea. There's one of which I'm particularly fond called Bengal Spice. Hit him with a stick! Marcus Cole (Babylon 5) vs. Friar Tuck (animated Robin Hood)

Kung-fu fighting

"Get bent, Your Holiness." "Same to you, Mr. President."

The way I see it, most of these guys are going to have very short playing careers followed by a lifetime of debilitating injuries to both body and mind. Too many of them are going to die young. So I say, what's the harm in letting them celebrate while they can?

Self-defense

If he's convicted on the misdemeanor assault charge, he could spend up to six months in jail. That would be a quarter of his term.

What's wrong with that? (I'd like to know.)

Ok, ok, I see what's happening here You're face to face with greatness, and it's strange You don't even know how you feel It's adorable! Well, it's nice to see that humans never change Open your eyes, let's begin Yes, it's really me, it's Maui: breathe it in! I know it's a lot: the hair, the bod! When you're staring at a demi-god What can I say except you're welcome For the tides, the sun, the sky Hey, it's okay, it's okay You're welcome I'm just an ordinary demi-guy Hey! What has two thumbs that pulled up the sky When you were waddling yay high? This guy! When the nights got cold Who stole you fire from down below? You're lookin' at him, yo! Oh, also I lassoed the sun You're welcome! To stretch the days and bring you fun Also I harnessed the breeze You're welcome! To fill your sails and shake your trees So what can I say except you're welcome For the islands I pulled from the sea There's no need to pray, it's okay You're welcome! Ha, I guess it's just my way of being me You're welcome! You're welcome! Well, come to think of it Kid, honestly I can go on and on I can explain every natural phenomenon The tide, the grass, the ground, oh That was Maui just messing around I killed an eel I buried its guts Sprouted a tree, now you got coconuts What's the lesson What is the take-away Don't mess with Maui when he's on the break-away And the tapestry here on my skin Is a map of the victories I win Look where I've been I make everything happen Look at that mini-Maui just tippity-tappin' Well, anyway let me say you're welcome For the wonderful world you know Hey, it's okay, it's okay You're welcome! Well, come to think of it, I gotta go Hey, it's your day to say you're welcome 'Cause I'm gonna need that boat I'm sailing away, away You're welcome! 'Cause Maui can do anything but float You're welcome! You're welcome! And thank you!

Wait, there's a 4:30 in the morning, too? Puns or chicken-crossing-the-road jokes?

Three traveling salesmen were driving down a country road one day when their car broke down. They walked a few miles to a local farmhouse and knocked on the door. The farmer opened the door and said, "What is this, some kind of a joke?"

What do you call a dog that does magic tricks?