Pariah

Eagle

I'll take "watching grass grow" preferentially to either of those things. No winner here. Sports second fiddles: Los Angeles Clippers versus Chicago White Sox

Yes, and that kid from Oklahoma (whose name I'm too lazy to look up) who was involved in a sexual assault scandal.

There's your explanation right there.

Better Off Ted

M*A*S*H

Falling

Cowboy, if for no other reason than "The Sons of Katie Elder". More Influential Black Superhero: Black Panther vs. Falcon

Maverick

To sleep, perchance to dream

Substance

Fire

Q: Prince Humperdinck, how do you plan to spend your wedding night? A: Nope, not 'mostly dead'. Just 'dead'.

Startup

Never play craps with a guy who brings his own dice.

FOOTBALL TONIGHT! Okay, it's the beginning of the preseason. But still, football!

Because of her stupid self-absorbed idiotic parents, there's an unfortunate little girl who's going to grow up with these as her name. No winner here. Either way, Mercury wins! Mercury (the planet) vs. Mercury (the chemical element)

Shut your mouth!

You can go around without anyone ever knowing you're there. Much stealthier. Favorite Joint: Elbow vs. Knee

Minor bowl games aren't necessary meaningless, as they provide at least three tangible benefits the school/team otherwise wouldn't get: 1) A couple hundreds thousand dollars in additional revenue;* 2) A national TV audience for at least one game; and 3) At least two weeks of additional practice time. For schools outside of the Power 5, these things can make a huge difference. -- *How much of this revenue actually makes it back to the school is a different discussion, of course.

Left-handed

Speaking of Anthony, I lost interest in the Xanth series after the 4th or 5th book. I felt like the increasingly contrived puns were getting in the way of the stories.

I've read all the Twilight books (and seen all the movies, natch). I didn't hate them. On the whole, I thought the series was better than Piers Anthony's Bio of a Space Tyrant.

Must be Chuck, since Amy Shumer isn't funny. At all. Greatest Fictional Dance: The Mamushka (Addams Family) vs. The Masochism Tango (Tom Lehrer)

The argument from the article was that the $EC lacked depth this year, with a notable dropoff in quality after the top 2-3 teams (Alabama in the west, Florida in the east, and maybe Auburn). By comparison, they said that the B1G was pretty solid except for Rutgers and one or two others.