Pariah

Idaho had amuch better view of last week's eclipse. Bones vs. Beast: Leonard McCoy (Star Trek) vs. Hank McCoy (X-Men)

Hell

Screwdriver

Mordor is lead by somebody competent. North Korea is led by someone batguano crazy. Mordor wins. Annoying Sitcoms From the 90s: Friends vs. Seinfeld

I spent much of the afternoon flipping back and forth between the Colorado State game and the BYU game. BYU did not have an impressive outing today. They beat Portland State 20-6. In what was supposed to be a tune-up game, BYU's defense was reasonably solid. But the first-team offense spent most of the game on the field, and struggled...neither of which you want to see against an FCS team that went 3-8 last season. If BYU plays this way against LSU next week, they're going to lose by five touchdowns. And then they'll have to come home and play Utah in Wisconsin the next two weeks. It could end up being a long, long season in Provo.

Colorado State opened their new stadium with a pretty impressive showing. It was a close game well into the third quarter, when Oregon State threw a 44 yard pick-six. After that, it was pretty much all Rams. Now let's hope the Colorado State can pick up another win against the Pac-12 next week in Denver.

Stunner

Statue

Pretty entertaining game in Fort Collins this afternoon. Colorado State leads Oregon State 24 to 20 5 minutes into the third quarter. Go Rams!

Mississippi is in a seemingly perpetual state of economic depression. Minnesota wins, despite the fact that the Vikings play there. Red vs. Black

Revenge

Bloom

Fever

Breaking Bad was set in New Mexico. Idaho wins. Elemental Madness II: Thorium vs. Americium

Unconventional weaponry

An unfortunate incident involving Death Tribble and a banana peel is the reason we have the Electric Slide.

To quote Douglas Adams, "Why drive yourself mad trying to keep from going mad? Just go mad now, and save your sanity for when you really need it."

Plain-dealing villain

Nottingham gave us that dashing cartoon fox. Ooo-de-lally! With about one exception every 20 years, living near a nuclear plant is much cleaner and safer than living near a coal plant. Elemental Mayhem I: Titanium vs. Osmium

Comedy

Why, WHY, WHY would you do that?

It's all about the Pentiums, baby It's all about the Pentiums, baby It's all about the Pentiums! (It's all about the Pentiums, baby) It's all about the Pentiums! (It's all about the Pentiums, baby) Yeah What y'all wanna do? Wanna be hackers? Code crackers? Slackers Wastin' time with all the chatroom yakkers? 9 to 5, chillin' at Hewlett Packard? Workin' at a desk with a dumb little placard? Yeah, payin' the bills with my mad programming skills Defraggin' my hard drive for thrills I got me a hundred gigabytes of RAM I never feed trolls and I never eat spam Installed a T1 line in my house Always at my PC, double-clickin' on my mizouse Upgrade my system at least twice a day I'm strictly plug-and-play, I ain't afraid of Y2K I'm down with Bill Gates, I call him "Money" for short I phone him up at home and I make him do my tech support It's all about the Pentiums, what? You've gotta be the dumbest newbie I've ever seen You've got white-out all over your screen You think your Commodore 64 is really neato What kinda chip you got in there, a Dorito? You're usin' a 286? Don't make me laugh Your Windows boots up in what, a day and a half? You could back up your whole hard drive on a floppy diskette You're the biggest joke on the Internet Your database is a disaster You're waxin' your modem, tryin' to make it go faster Hey fella, I bet you're still livin' in your parents' cellar Downloadin' pictures of Sarah Michelle Gellar And postin' "Me too!" like some brain-dead AOL-er I should do the world a favor and cap you like Old Yeller You're just about as useless as jpegs to Hellen Keller It's all about the Pentiums! (It's all about the Pentiums, baby) It's all about the Pentiums! (It's all about the Pentiums, baby) It's all about the Pentiums! (It's all about the Pentiums, baby) It's all about the Pentiums! (It's all about the Pentiums, baby) Now, what y'all wanna do? Wanna be hackers? Code crackers? Slackers Wastin' time with all the chatroom yakkers? 9 to 5, chillin' at Hewlett Packard? Wanna run wit my crew, hah? Rule cyberspace and crunch numbers like I do? They call me the king of the spreadsheets Got 'em printed out on my bedsheets My new computer's got the clocks, it rocks But it was obsolete before I opened the box You say you've had your desktop for over a week? Throw that junk away, man, it's an antique Your laptop is a month old? Well that's great If you could use a nice, heavy paperweight My digital media is write-protected Every file inspected, no viruses detected I beta tested every operation system Gave props to some, and others? I dissed 'em While your computer's crashin', mine's multitaskin' It does all my work without me even askin' Got a flat-screen monitor forty inches wide wide I believe that your says "Etch-A-Sketch" on the side In a 32-bit world, you're a 2-bit user You've got your own newsgroup, "alt.total-loser" Your motherboard melts when you try to send a fax Where'd you get your CPU, in a box of Cracker Jacks? Play me online? Well, you know that I'll beat you If I ever meet you I'll control-alt-delete you What? What? What? What? What? It's all about the Pentiums! (It's all about the Pentiums, baby) It's all about the Pentiums! (It's all about the Pentiums, baby) It's all about the Pentiums! (It's all about the Pentiums, baby) It's all about the Pentiums! (It's all about the Pentiums, baby) Now, what y'all wanna do? Wanna be hackers? Code crackers? Slackers Wastin' time with all the chatroom yakkers? 9 to 5, chillin' at Hewlett Packard? What??

The coconut ones are better.

Bazza invented a device to allow him to watch Monday's (Tuesday's?) eclipse in totality from Australia.

All the commercials between rounds are for crackers.