Balabanto

Re: Foxbat vs. Witchcraft! As Promised! Beauty is in the eye of the Beholder. At Teleos Parfumerie, we have the perfect beauty aid for the perfect client. You. So come to one of our many fine boutiques, and we'll remove the lines from your face, and remove those annoying wrinkles. You may wind up as a mutated bear, but that's the price of true artistry. Teleos Parfumerie. The Scent of the Future... Johnny: I can't believe it! Witchcraft just got stabbed in the chest with some sort of magic channelling spear that used her own power, transferred from Solitaire's widget! That's got to be the most unpleasant thing I've seen since Firewing imploded! Nick: Things aren't looking too good for Witchcraft right now, that's for sure. I sure wish one of these two ladies didn't have to die. Fortunately, we've got a special guest in our booth tonight. Ladies and Gentlemen, Defender! Defender: Hi, guys. Are those really my two ladies down there. Duking it out, over me? Johnny: I'd stay down, Defender. If they see you here, it could be even more trouble. (Defender Ducks) Phase 8 Witchcraft: Mangling my...physical body...won't last long! By...the power of Eternal Light, and the Unfettered Rings of Abe Cadabrey, I call upon the Seeking magic of Athena herself! (The Spear leaves Witchcraft's body and launches straight for Solitaire, ripping through her torso and pinning her to the ring corner!) Solitaire: Oh, my god! Nhlkkkkkkkkkkkk (The Spear impales her right through the gut, in the very place that Witchcraft was impaled just a moment before) That...that was a good trick...but this one's even better. G...get her, Widget... The Widget flies forward, and slams into Witchcraft's crotch, letting out a low, vibrating hum. Witchcraft: Wha? Feels good...AHHHHHHHHHHHHGGGGGGGGGGGGGG! The Widget begins to hum and vibrate between Witchcraft's legs, shaking and sending massive waves of energy through her! Defender: Ohh...man...I didn't think they both dug me this much. Johnny: Stay DOWN if you want to live! (Pushes Defender's head back below the announcer's booth) It's amazing! Solitaire's pinned to the ring wall, and Witchcraft's being VIBRATED to death! Judge Mills Lane (Stares as his arm begins scanning the carnage and suddenly disengages, developing a rocket pack and fleeing out through the hole in the ceiling....) I'll allow it! Nick: Yeah. They could actually both slaughter each other! That would be really impressive. We haven't had a draw in years! Phase 10 Johnny: Yeah. Not since Professor Muerte fought the Master of Death. Everyone had a skull head. It was hard to tell them apart. Looks like Witchcraft's getting up first. Witchcraft: You ran away from him! He's mine! Do you hear me? She clutches her wounded side and bleeds all over what's left of the ring. She staggers about and clutches the ropes. (Recover from being stunned) Solitaire: That's...not fair...(Crawls off the end of the spear.) You had the...nerve to replace me in the Champions, and...hkk...steal my boyfriend. (Spits up blood.) You've got to pay for that! (Recover from being stunned) Phase 12 Defender: I...I can't take this. They're fighting over me! I've got to save them. Defender leaps out of the broken announcer's booth and begins flying downward towards the two women. Defender: Ladies! Stop! We can work this out! Really! There's room for both of you, I mean...that's not what I meant...I... Solitaire and Witchcraft: Wha? Solitaire and Witchcraft: You're...you're kidding, right? Solitaire and Witchcraft: You CAN'T have BOTH of us. You have to choose! Defender (Looking Sheepish): Now? Solitaire and Witchcraft: RIGHT NOW!!!!!!! Solitaire: Did you really do that with Foxbat on the beach? Witchcraft: Uh, no? Solitaire: What was Foxbat doing on the beach? Defender: Uhm...Ladies, I can explain....every so often, a man has...other needs.... Solitaire: Other...needs? Witchcraft: WHAT OTHER NEEDS? You CREEP!!!!!!!! Solitaire: I don't...I don't like what he's saying. (Grits teeth) Witchcraft: Neither do I. Solitaire and Witchcraft Link Hands, their fists clenched in disturbing fury. Nick: Oh, man, we need to get a barrier shield or something. Johnny: Oh, god...we're going to die right here. Solitaire: By the Raging Rings of Daskilon! Witchcraft: By the Holy Fires of Atlantis! Solitaire: I bind the Darkness and the Light Together!!!!! Witchcraft: I shape the Forces of the Cosmic All!!!! Judge Mills Lane: (Hiding under what's left of the ring with only one arm) I'll allow it!!!! Defender: Ladies, really, this can all be worked out! (Waving his hands, dodging frantically, shaking his helmet!) Solitaire and Witchcraft: Infinite Lights of Luathon!!!!!!!!!!!! There is a wrenching explosion and a horrid hideous pop that seems to shatter everything in the ring except Solitaires widget! The ring explodes under the feet of the two women, and Defender's armor is reduced to an empty, hallow husk! Only a few pieces of ash remain and sift eerily on the wind. Judge Mills Lane: It's a DRAW! Oh, god, please don't make me go back in there! Witchcraft: Could you...do the thing with the widget again? That was...nice. Just not on such a high setting. Solitaire: Uhm...I guess. Can I buy you a milkshake? Witchcraft: We'll work all that out. Just no more bringing all the boys to the yard. There's enough for just the two of us. Solitaire beams, happy at last... Johnny: Well, all's well, that ends well, sort of, except for Defender, but he was kind of a cad. Dating two women and Foxbat at once, well...at least he was a ladies man and a man's man. Nick: Not you and Foxbat, too, Johnny. Johnny: Well, I can't say I've ever been that lucky, Nick. Johnny: I'm Johnny Gomez! Nick: And I'm Nick Diamond! Johnny and Nick: Saying Good Fight! And Good Night!

Re: Foxbat vs. Witchcraft! As Promised! Johnny: Uh, oh, it looks like Witchcraft is closing in for the kill! Nick: Yeah, it looks like this deathmatch is going to be short but sweet! Witchcraft floats over to Foxbat, her eyes glowing white hot, and reaches up for his throat and picks him up by the throat. "You wish another kiss, freak? Kiss this!" She plants her lips firmly on his, and there's a wet, sickening roar of magic. Foxbat's head swells up like a horrid balloon, and his eyes blink wide. Foxbat: Mommy...I...feel sick...Mommy...oh...goh.... Foxbat's head explodes in a wretched eruption of gore, a thunderous wet splat that erupts all over the arena, and Witchcraft's beautiful white outfit. Pulsing in the center of his neck is a pulsing, oddly familiar red gem that whirls and warbles as his body teeters backwards. Nick: Oh, my god. She kissed his head clean off! I've never seen anything like that! What's that jewel in his throat doing? It looks familiar. Johnny: Oh, god, you don't think...no...it can't be... Witchcraft: What the? What's that? I've never seen anything like... THNNNK! The reddish gemlike thing floats ruthlessly into the air, and an oddly familiar, reddish cloaked figure appears behind Witchcraft, stabbing her with a magical spear as it fires off a massive blast of Witchcraft's own energy. Solitaire: You STOLE MY BOYFRIEND, YOU B**CH! (The blast slams witchcraft into the ground right at Solitaire's feet! There's still a spear through her innards.) Witchcraft: Hkk...you can't...you can't do this...you cheating...I can't...hkk... Solitaire (With a big old grin on her face): They discontinued me. I'm not a member of the Champions now. So I can cheat! And I was an archmage first! So what's it going to be, honey? I stole all your magic powers. I think that's fair for stealing my boyfriend. Judge Mills Lane, covered in blood from Foxbat's exploding head: I'll allow it! Nick: My GOD! Solitaire used Foxbat as a proxy to steal Witchcraft's underwear and lure her into a trap! Ingenious! Johnny: I've got to give that girl credit! She's quite a trooper! My money's still on Witchcraft, though. Nick: The archmage catfight of the century continues in just a few, brief moments!!!!

Re: Foxbat vs. Witchcraft! As Promised! They're form fitting...they're fantastic! They're amazing! They're the best! Slip into a pair of Coyle Jeans! They fit just like Snakeskin!!!!! Johnny: Well, I can see again! And Nick's mustache has been burned off! Nick: (Looking up from under the announcer's table) It took me two years to grow this thing! And now it's gone! Judge Lane is still hiding behind a turnbuckle after that massive blast of power, and Witchcraft's only warming up. Looks like that's it for Foxbat.... Johnny: I wouldn't count Foxbat out! He's got something up that sneaky sleeve of his. He does have a (Cough, cough) master plan! Post 12 recovery Phase 3 Witchcraft: I'm through playing around with you, Foxbat! By the power of the four elements! By the heavenly cascade of celestial thunder! I summon the cosmic-all-crusher! There is a massive DA-KOOOM as a gigantic spherical hammer appears in the air and it settles into Witchcraft's hands! It must be a hundred feet high! Foxbat: Mommy? (Dives for Cover!) Judge Mills Lane: Holy !!@#$$$$$$$$$$$! I'll...allow it? Witchcraft Swings... There is a massive THUNK as Foxbat is piledrived into the ground by the Cosmic All-Crusher, and there is a massive BOOM as the top of the arena is blown off! The scoreboard is hurled into the ether, and smoke erupts from the Foxbat half of the arena....!!!!!! The cold rushes in... Nick: Oh, my god, Johnny! She blew the roof off! This is madness! (He digs out an overcoat from under the announcer's booth and puts it on!) It's Northern Michigan! It's insanely cold in here! As the smoke clears, the broken scoreboard, hammered into the center of the ring, seems to have partially protected Foxbat. He's wandering woozily around the ring, and he appears to be dripping blood out of his mouth... Foxbat: Ohh...man...that...that hurt... Witchcraft: That's nothing! That was one of my weaker spells! I hope you're happy that you're finally getting what you deserve, you viagra popping, steroid monkey freak! Nick: Looks like Witchcraft's got a king size mad on for Foxbat. What did happen under those palm trees? Johnny: I don't know, but it made her pretty angry!

Re: Foxbat vs. Witchcraft! As Promised! Nar-cola...Nar-cola....whereever it goes...I go...Nar-cola...Nar-cola...It makes me smarter and faster-oh! My Nar-cola and me, are so hap-happy, my Nar-cola and me are so wild and free...Nar-Cola...Nar-cola...Nar-cola and meeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.... Nick: And we're back at Champions Universal Deathmatch. Down in the locker rooms Debbie's interviewing Foxbat at this very minute. Debbie? (Switch to a scene of Debbie interviewing Foxbat) Debbie: Mr. Foxbat, is it true you ran for President? Foxbat: Well, I don't really remember much about that. Soon, the hot interviewer chicks of the world will be mine, to do with as I please! (Grabs Debbie's butt!) Debbie: Ooooh! Mr. Foxbat! You shouldn't have. Do you do massages? Foxbat: Ohhh, yeah, baby. After the match, you and I can go for some...muffins! Debbie: No problem, Mr. Foxbat! What do you think of Witchcraft's magic powers? Do you think you can handle them? Foxbat: Not a problem at all! What's she going to do with no panties anyway? Suck on my King Kong ball gun, that's what! Debbie: Uhh...Mr. Foxbat, that's Ping Pong Ball Gun. Foxbat: Yeah...right...(He gives Debbie a naughty smile.) Debbie: So could you tell us what you're going to do to Witchcraft? And are you going to save any for me? (She gives Foxbat a seductive smile.) Foxbat: Uhmmm...I'm saving it all for you...except the death part, yeah! She's just the Archmage of Earth! She's no match for my master plan, and you know it! Debbie: That's about all we have time for right now. Just time for one last comment, Foxbat....(Another sly seductive wink) Foxbat: BWAHAHHAAHAHHAAAAAAA! Johnny: Well, Witchcraft refused to interview with Debbie. Something about being too embarrassed, but that's okay, because she's already waiting in the ring, and ready to rumble! Nick: Yeah. Foxbat's coming out of the locker room now, and making his way down towards the ring! (Foxbat begins marching down towards the ring, while Witchcraft sits there grumpily with her arms folded!) Witchcraft: Foxbat! How could you! You unrepentant cad! I'm going to turn you into half a dozen animals and make you wish you were a cat treat! (Foxbat stops outside the ring) Foxbat: That's not what you said two weeks ago under those palm trees. "Marry me...Oh gawd! Marry me! Oh gawd!" Witchcraft: It wasn't LIKE that! You're gonna pay! Foxbat: Yes it was! Witchcraft (Lightning sparkling around her hair and floating up into the air): NO IT WASN'T!!!!!!! (Covers her mouth and lightly floats back down to earth.) Oh...sorry. Johnny: Holy COW, Nick! Did you see that? I thought Judge Lane might not even get into the ring! Nick: Judge Lane is tough! Even after they cut off his arm last week, he's back in here for another round! (Foxbat shivers a little bit. His arms go a little limp.) Foxbat nervously climbs up into the ring. Johnny: And now it's the moment you've all been waiting for, he's invincible, he's indestructible, and he's got a new cybernetic arm provided courtesy of Mechanon himself! He's your very own Cyborg badass.... JUDGE MILLS LANE! (Judge Mills Lane vaults into the ring with a metallic hum. He has a massively powerful cybernetic arm on his left side that throbs with massive, unknown energies. He glares at Witchcraft and Foxbat) Judge Mills Lane: All right lady and...I hesitate to call you a gentlemen, but what the hell, there's a first time for everything! You know the rules! There aren't any! So come out of your corners fighting! I want to see a bloodbath! So! That being said.... LET'S GET IT ON! Phase 12 Witchcraft: I'm aching to smack this pervert down! (Eyes glowing, Witchcraft launches into the air, and blasts Foxbat with powerful eyebeams of raw magic!!!!!) Foxbat: GAWD! I wasn't that bad in bed, was I? (Martial Dodge) (There is a massive explosion, and when the smoke clears, Johnny and Nick are covered in volcanic ash) Nick: Did you see THAT, Johnny? Johnny: No! I'm still blind! Witchcraft missed Foxbat by a country mile and blew up our announcer's booth! We'll be back in a few seconds after these messages!

Johnny: I'm Johnny Gomez! Nick: And I'm Nick Diamond! Johnny: It's Saturday Night! And it's All Right For Fighting! Nick: It's really late Friday Night, Johnny, but nonetheless, even though we're on tape, it's time for another edition of... CHAMPIONS UNIVERSAL DEATHMATCH! Tonight, we've got a really special match for you, as the legendary Foxbat will be squaring off against Witchcraft! Witchcraft is appalled that Foxbat has stolen her underwear, and is aching to get even! Can the Archmage of Earth handle the Marsupial/Dog of Madness? Our lovely Debbie will be interviewing the contestants in a moment, after this commercial break....

Re: Not a Dream, Not an Imaginary Story! I just realized something. This is the solution to "How to run an episode of 24 in Champions." It even kind of fits.

Re: Unmaking Create a "hole" in the Anomaly using a quantum separator, and yank the villain to be out. He's saved, and he's X number of years in his future, but nothing else changes. He was still a villain up to that point, because Science does not recognize his lack of villainy up to that point. Someone else is now that villain, because Nature abhors a vaccum. Of course, this leads to "Thanks, Captain Victory, you've saved him. Now, since I've secretly been this villain for the past ten years while you thought he was your adversary, it's time for you to pay MY piper! KAPOW!" The issue people seem to be having is that there is no solution without consequences. However, I would like to point out that there is no solution without consequences anyway. As much as I hate Time Travel problems, THIS ONE is relatively easy to fix.

Re: Quotes from Owlcon - part 4 Clearly, The President was NOT kidnapped by Ninjas, and you guys were not bad enough dudes to save him.

Re: Not a Dream, Not an Imaginary Story! Hickory Dickory Dock, The mouse ran up the clock. The clock struck one, The mouse ran down! Hickory Dickory Dock. Hickory Dickory Dock, The bird looked at the clock, The clock struck two 2, Away she flew, Hickory Dickory Dock Hickory Dickory Dock, The dog barked at the clock, The clock struck three 3, Fiddle-de-dee, Hickory Dickory Dock! Hickory Dickory Dock, The bear slept by the clock, The clock struck four 4, He ran out the door, Hickory Dickory Dock! Hickory Dickory Dock, The bee buzzed round the clock, The clock struck five 5, She went to her hive, Hickory Dickory Dock! Hickory Dickory Dock, The hen pecked at the clock, The clock struck six 6, Oh, fiddle-sticks, Hickory Dickory Dock! Hickory Dickory Dock, The cat ran round the clock, The clock struck seven 7, She wanted to get 'em, Hickory Dickory Dock! Hickory Dickory Dock, The horse jumped over the clock, The clock struck eight 8, He ate some cake, Hickory Dickory Dock! Hickory Dickory Dock, The cow danced on the clock, The clock struck nine 9, She felt so fine, Hickory Dickory Dock! Hickory Dickory Dock, The pig oinked at the clock, The clock struck ten 10, She did it again, Hickory Dickory Dock! Hickory Dickory Dock, The duck quacked at the clock The clock struck eleven 11, The duck said 'oh heavens!' Hickory Dickory Dock! Hickory Dickory Dock, The mouse ran up the clock The clock struck noon He's here too soon! Hickory Dickory Dock! Doctor Dockery should have the Duplication power. He kind of needs it, since he has only twelve hours and there are twenty four in a day. Heck, for this scenario, you could have a villain clone Doctor Dockery and have him work with himself. The clone has only twenty four hours to survive... Our Good Doctor Dockery should follow the Nursery Rhyme to the letter of his twisted intentions. Hour One) The Mouse Ran Down. At precisely one o clock, Doctor Dockery releases thousands of rats into the city square. While this is happening, he kidnaps a pacifist reporter. Since there are 24 hours in a day, he has to commit each crime twice. More on this in a minute. (The trick: A mouse is a rat, and also a pacifist) Hour Two) The Bird Looked at The Clock: At Two O'Clock, Doctor Dockery breaks into an Insane Asylum, and frees an insane villainess the PC's really hate. Simultaneous to this, he gives her the plans to burn down a major building in town twelve hours from now, and the equipment to do so. He also kidnaps an intern. (The Trick: A Bird is an insane person, and also a subordinate) Hour Three) The Dog Barked at the Clock: Doctor Dockery now breaks into an animal shelter, and frees all the dogs, but no cats. He uses this to kidnap a man in the Animal Shelter who is having an affair. (The Trick: A Dog is an animal, but also a man who can't keep it in his pants.) Hour Four) The Bear Slept by the Clock: Doctor Dockery breaks into a department store, and kidnaps the person in the accounting department who has done the most chiselling, and steals a number of teddy bears. (The Trick: A Bear is an animal, but is also a person who doesn't like to take financial risks) Hour Five) The Bee Buzzed Round the Clock: Doctor Dockery now has reached Rush Hour, and oh is he going to use it. Doctor Dockery breaks into Traffic Control, and subdues all the workers. He sets all the B trains in the city to crash into each other, and kidnaps the head of the Transit Authority. (The Trick: A Bee is a hard worker, but also a subway line in most major cities.) Hour Six) The Hen Pecked at the Clock: Assuming the heroes haven't totally failed by now, as Doctor Dockery has likely escalated to City's Greatest Threat, and everyone will be looking for him, Doctor Dockery will now kidnap the significant other of a public hero. If none of the heroes have a public id, he will choose a public figure whose wife has a reputation for being nasty. Simultaneous with this, Doctor Dockery will also rob the local Philharmonic, and steal a priceless Stradivarius, along with the violinist, so he can fiddle while the city burns.(The Trick: Henpecked means a man's wife owns him, and Fiddlesticks should be obvious) Hour Seven) The Cat Ran Round the Clock: Our good doctor will now steal a Stutz Bearcat, a classic automobile and sports car. It was a symbol of the wealthy in the early 1900s. Owning one was considered prestigious. Simultaneous with this, he will also kidnap the woman who the dogcatcher was having an affair with. (The Trick: The Bearcat provides a new crime for hour sixteen, as it is both a bear and a cat, and the woman would be linked to the phrase "Seeing a dog about a cat" which not only informs the affair, but also the nursery rhyme.) Hour Eight) The Horse Jumped Over the Clock: Doctor Dockery now steals a prime candidate to win the next big horse race, saddle and all. He then kidnaps a Baker, and orders him to bake a cake while he holds his other hostages. (The Trick: Getting a horse to eat cake is a trick in itself, however, Doctor Dockery has a nasty plan for later.) Hour Nine) The Cow Danced Round the Clock: Doctor Dockery now steals a milk truck with a cow on it. He's not really interested in building a barnyard, and he needs the milk for later. He kidnaps the driver of the truck as well, and adds him to the list of hostages. (The Trick: The Dancing Cow should be the name of the milk company, and no one could feel "finer" than the driver of a milk truck.) Hour Ten) The Pig Oinked at the Clock: Doctor Dockery now kidnaps two police officers who are off shift, at precisely Ten. He blows up their police cars, and generally leaves a wake of destruction behind him. (The Trick: "Pig" is negative slang for a police officer, and after blowing up the city's subway system, holding a couple of cops hostage is really no problem for the Doctor. In this case "He did it again" refers to him committing the same crime twice.) Hour Eleven) The Duck Quacked at the Clock: Doctor Dockery breaks into a Movie Theatre, and kidnaps the projectionist before the final credits roll. He steals the film, too! (The Trick: A duck is the scene after the credits. Duck is also called out by angry moviegoers when the person in front of them is much too tall.) Hour Twelve) The Mouse Ran Up the Clock: Doctor Dockery now issues his ultimatum, since he now has twelve hostages. Plus, he has to wait an hour for the mouse to run down. "Ladies and Gentlemen of our fair city! For the past twelve hours, I have run you and your miserable superheroes ragged. If I am not delivered the following chemicals necessary to construct an electrolytic proton/gluon bath within twelve hours, all of these people will die. I will kill one per hour until my demands are met. I would say "Bwah ha ha ha ha," but I would very much like my clone to live. The question is whether or not you want these people to die. Time's a wasting...(Evil Chuckle) Hour Thirteen) Doctor Dockery throws the pacifist off a clock tower. Hour Fourteen) The Insane Villainess attacks the building to burn it down. Unfortunately, extra bombs secretly planted by the Doctor will kill her, too. Can the PC's save their crazy, murderous nemesis? Should they? If they do, will they have to save Doctor Dockery from their nemesis? Hour Fifteen) Doctor Dockery throws the man having the affair to savage, angry, starving dogs, thus completing the nature of the trick. Hour Sixteen) Doctor Dockery puts the Accountant into the Bearcat and drives him into oncoming traffic full tilt by remote. Hour Seventeen) Doctor Dockery puts the Transit Authority worker on a bus, loading him up with explosives. It should be just about time for the earliest of morning rush hours. Hour Eightteen) Doctor Dockery destroys the throat of the violinist with her own fiddle stick, and leaves her body in the chicken aisle at the supermarket. Hour Nineteen) The woman who was having the affair will now be forced to run around a city block. If she stops moving, she explodes. Whoops! Hour Twenty) The good doctor kills the baker and delivers him in a horse shaped cake to a bakery. Four hours to go. Hour Twenty One) The Doctor delivers the Milkman's dead body to the dairy from whence he came. Hour Twenty Two) The Doctor sets up the two police officers on explosive platforms at each end of the city, and challenges the heroes to save them both simultaneously, or else. Hour Twenty Three) The Doctor kills the projectionist and films it, sending the film to the movie theatre that he kidnapped the projectionist from. Hour Twenty Four) The Doctor awaits his ultimatum. If the PC's still haven't found him, or delivered the ransom, his clone dies. Have a good time.

Re: Speeding Up Combat Add well roleplayed soliloquies. Nothing kills combat like "God, look at the time.' If you can make your players not look at the clock, that's the key.

Re: Seeker vs. Nighthawk- THE REMATCH! Phase 8 Nighthawk swings at Seeker, his truncheon lashing out for the face of the Australian who dared to club him with Judge Lane's arm! Judge Lane runs in during the swing and grabs the dismembered limb!!!!! Judge Lane: Give Me That! Seeker (Shouting): Ey, Mate, Look OOFFFF! (Nighthawk's truncheon connects solidly, but Seeker remains standing after the savage swing, unable to block with Judge Lane's head in the way.) Phase 10 Seeker counterattacks, lashing out with his Sword at Nighthawk, with Judge Lane still in the way!!!!! Seeker: "Now that's fighting dirty! What if you had hit the judge?" Judge Lane: Oh, !@#$! That thing is SHARP! (Dodges) Nighthawk: I don't need to guess. You can't hit me, or the judge! (Blocks as the blow sails over the dodging, one-armed Judge Mills Lane) Phase 12: Nighthawk chuckles, and kicks the arm up into the air, waving the bloody stump of Mill's Lane's arm into Seeker's eyes! "Let's see you fight now, you overgrown sissy!" Judge Lane: MY OWN ARM????!!! I'll allow it! Seeker: AGGGH! (Throws the sword in the way of the truncheon while his eyes are filled with Judge Lane's blood! He barely succeeds, and he wobbles back and forth.) "Can't...see...really this time..." (Post 12 recovery) Phase 2: Seeker leaps over Judge Lane, and brings the sword down on Nighthawk's head, tumbling with a deadly slash as he rips at the Vigilante with his bladed weapon!!!!! Nighthawk: Don't be silly! You can't see! HLLLK! (The Sword embeds itself in Nighthawk's head with a wet, sticky thud, and Seeker yanks it out as Nighthawk falls to the ground in a bloody mess) Nick: Did Seeker Just Win! Johnny: Ohh, yeah, Honey, bring it home! Nick: Honey? Johnny: Sorry! Phase 4 Seeker reverses the sword and picks up Nighthawk. "Mate, you made one mistake! I was trained by a Ninja. We don't need to see to kill you! Heck, we don't even need to be in the same room!" Nighthawk makes horrid gurgling noises as Seeker wraps the sword around some ring ropes and places it against Nighthawks neck, and then pulls back on the ropes, hurling Nighthawk's body skyward into the arena while his head remains gruesomely on the arena floor! Nick: Wow! That's really amazing! He used the ring ropes and the sword to cut Nighthawk's head off! I've got to give this guy credit! He's imaginative. Johnny: They didn't have an extra hundred points in 4th edition, Nick. They had to be creative! Judge Mills Lane walks over and raises Seeker's arm. He hands Seeker the other arm as a trophy. "The Winner! And still the better man! Seeker!" Nick: Well, that's all for this week! Tune in next week, when Foxbat squares off against Witchcraft for stealing her underwear. Johnny: I'm Johnny Gomez! Nick: And I'm Nick Diamond... Nick and Johnny: Saying Good Fight, and Good Night!!!!!

Re: Seeker vs. Nighthawk- THE REMATCH! Phase 6 Seeker leaps down and grabs something out of the rubble! It's Mills Lane's arm! He vaults towards Nighthawk and swings it at him, letting him have it with a mighty howl. Seeker: Kieeeyahhhhhhhh! Nighthawk: Wha? (Tries to block Mills arm and fails) THUD! The arm connects solidly with Nighthawk's face! Seeker: That'll teach you to mess with Judge Lane! And now, time to teach you not to mess with ME! Phase 8: Seeker winds up with a kick and then does a roll, feinting with the kick and slashing at Nighthawk with the sword. Nighthawk: We'll make a dirty fighter of you yet, Seeker! (Tries to block with the crossed arms again!) Johnny: Oh, my god, Nighthawks' making Seeker darker and grittier! Is he going to win by making Seeker into a scumbag? Nick: I don't know, that swing looks pretty nasty! There's another loud CLANG as Nighthawk blocks Seeker once again. It looked a lot harder that time, though. Nighthawk: Now it ends, you steroid hopped Australian Punk. Go back to the outback in pieces! .....

Re: Seeker vs. Nighthawk- THE REMATCH! Johnny: And we're back! Nighthawk: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! THUD! (Nighthawk is no longer holding onto a wire, and crashes into the rubble below as Judge Mills Lane stands over him.) Judge Lane: Wow, you sure took a beating, Nighthawk! Nighthawk: No previous edition reject is going to beat me. I've still got a club! Seeker: (Still hanging from a wire) "Right. I got more where that came from!" Judge Lane: I'll allow it! Seeker Leaps at Nighthawk, sword drawn, and swings at him with a wicked slash. Nighthawk: Wait, you can't use that! You're a superhero! (Throws up his gauntlets in a cross pattern and blocks Seeker's swing) I guess I should have taken you instead of Defender! But now you're mine! (Post 12 Recovery) Phase 2: Johnny: Nighthawk has the advantage, and Seeker might not be able to withstand the counterattack. Nick: Yeah, and Nighthawk's pretty vicious. He's swinging right for Seeker's groin! Oh, this is going to be bloody! (Nighthawk swings his club at Seeker and Seeker blocks Nighthawk's wrist with his knee, batting it aside.) Seeker: Mate, if that's all you've got, I've got a bad piece of news for you... Nighthawk: What's that? Seeker: I've got gladiatorial experience you can't match, Mate... Phase 4. Seeker: Grabs the Ring ropes and tries to wrap Nighthawk up in them. Nighthawk easily leaps aside. Nighthawk: You can't beat me so easily, with a stupid wrestling trick! Give up, Seeker! It's over. Lay down and die! Everyone knows I'm better than some goofy australian faux ninja with a pair of pants that belong in a Christopher Street bar! Nick: Ouch, Nighthawk just keeps the trash talking up! This is getting even more painful! JOhnny: Yeah, but my money's still on the guy in the tights...

Re: Seeker vs. Nighthawk- THE REMATCH! As the smoke and rubble clear from the broken ring, Nighthawk can be seen clinging to one of the wires where the scoreboard used to hang from. "You'll...have to do better than that, Seeker!" He hisses as Seeker hangs from another wire. Phase 8: Seeker chuckles as he hangs from the wire. Seeker: "Mate, I even got these here throwing stars!" (Flings throwing stars at Nighthawk's wire, and cuts it!) Nighthawk: Don't be ridiculous, Seeker, I have a grapple gun! (Aborts to turn on his swinging power, continues to hang there!) Seeker: Rats! Nighthawk: That's why me instead of you in the Champions was an improvement! I have a million weapons! I have better moves! And I don't have pants that make me look like I prefer genies! Seeker: You'll pay for that one! Nick: Ouch! Nighthawk really laid into him with that taunt, Johnny. And now Seeker looks like he's fighting mad! (Seeker's face is turning red with rage, his fists clenching tighter and tighter) Johnny: "I don't think this is going to go the way Nighthawk thinks it is, Nick." Nick: Don't be ridiculous. Seeker's a washed up has been. What the heck could Seeker do at this point? Phase 10 Seeker: Come and Get It, you stupid walkabout Kangaroo Lover, I got your Jackaroo Chops right here!!!!!! (Shows Nighthawk his behind! Hold action!) Nick: Oh, my god, Johnny, you and Seeker? I can't believe it! Johnny: It's not like that, Nick, I swear! Nighthawk: Why should I? Now you'll burn in Thermite like the rest of them! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! (Nighthawk screams out a loud fake battle cry and then casually hurls a thermite pellet at Seeker) Seeker: Thanks, Mate! Knew I could count on you! (Reflects Thermite bomb back at Nighthawk) Nighthawk: (Real Scream this time) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! (Burning sounds, the smell of a utility belt going up in flames.) Seeker: Ey, Mate, don't blame me. It was your bomb! Nick: And we'll be right back after this commercial break!

Re: Seeker vs. Nighthawk- THE REMATCH! Nar-cola! Nar-cola! It's always the cola for you! Nar-cola! Nar-cola! It makes the old stuff seem like brand new! Nar-colaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.... Johnny: And we're back with Champions Universe Deathmatch, where Seeker is taking on Nighthawk in the battle to end all battles, the fight to end all fights! Nick: This reminds me of the matchup between Firewing and Gravitar. Johnny: Ohh, yeah, that was pretty kicking until Gravitar made Firewing weigh twenty million pounds and his flames went out. Then he imploded. Still one of the grossest deathmatch deaths ever. Nick: But this just isn't on the same scale. This one isn't just about power. It's about revenge, Johnny. Seeker's never forgiven Nighthawk for replacing him in the Champions. Johnny: He got a better deal than the Werejaguar. Nick: Whose fault is that, Johnny? Anyway, back to the action!!! Phase 2 Seeker: Hah, Nighthawk! Looks like once you're not fighting dirty, I'm faster than you! Hey, Mills! Watch this! (Grabs Judge Mills Lane, Martial Throws Him into Nighthawk) Judge Mills Lane: I'll allow AWK! (Nighthawk Blocks with his Truncheon, but only barely, Judge Mills Lane takes it in the face!) Nick: Looks like Mills Lane bit off more than he can chew this time! He's taking the brunt of the whole thing while they duke it out! Johnny: Ooh, was that his dentures? Phase 4 The net finally breaks as Mills Lane frees himself. He spits out some broken dentures. Seeker: Oooh, that was a wicked wicket! Got some dentistry going on while your teeth go walkabout? Oh, right. Nighthawk! (Holds Action, drops into a combat stance.) Nighthawk: (Throws out a smoke grenade, drops it on Seeker) "Let's see you fight fair when you can't see me!" (Nighthawk chuckles. "Now you will fear the terror of the Nighthawk...") Judge Lane: Now >I< can't see! But I'll allow it! (Shadowy forms move about in the smoke, shifting and moving.) Phase 5 (Seeker uses Held) Seeker does a graceful acrobatic flip, and tries to kick Nighthawk in the midsection, but Nighthawk dodges. Seeker: I'm a ninja, mate! The darkness holds no terrors for me. Judge Lane's dentures, on the other hand... Judge Lane flails around in the darkness, trying to glue his dentures back together. Phase 6: Nighthawk is still dodging. Seeker: Do you want to know what your problem is, mate? (Seeker cheerily grins at Nighthawk, and leaps upwards towards the scoreboard) Y' can't get away from large objects!!!! (Seeker draws his sword and slashes through the wires holding the scoreboard above the ring up, and it plummets downwards towards the winged terror!) Nighthawk: Oh, !@#$#!!!!!!! (Dives For Cover) The Scoreboard crashes into the ring, smashing it and Judge Lane, who crawls out from the rubble and the ring a bloody mess. Judge Lane: I"ll...allow it...(Looks around for his missing arm.) Nick: Well, that looks like Seeker just cleverly destroyed the ring, Johnny. What a great move. He's forced us to cut to a commercial break while they battle on! Johnny: Don't worry, folks, we'll be sure to bring you Champions Universe Deathmatch uninterrupted when we get back!!!!

Re: Seeker vs. Nighthawk- THE REMATCH! Hi, I'm Johnny Gomez, and this is Nick Diamond, for Champions Universe Edition Deathmatch! In the one corner, Fourth Edition Seeker, a cheery Australian Ninja with no shirt, and big poofy pants! Seeker: G'day Mates! (Poses around the ring, waves to the ladies) Nick: He sure is a ladies man, isn't he, Johnny? Johnny: Yeah, or a man's man disguised as a ladies man. Look at those pecs!!! Ninja training, or steroids? You decide! Nick: Is there something about you I don't know, Johnny? Johnny: Well, Nick, I've been meaning to tell you, but right now, Nighthawk is entering the ring. Nighthawk enters the ring, scowls at everyone, and sulks moodily in his corner. Nick: Wow, this guy's loaded with weapons. They say he was trained by emo martial artists somewhere in the Millennium City Underworld, and everyone's afraid of him. Johnny (Shudders): Yeah, I sure am. But anyway, it's time to introduce the judge for our match, and you all know him, you all love him... JUDGE MILLS LANE! Judge Mills Lane leaps into the ring. "All right, boys, you know the rules! There aren't any! Now, I want you to come out of your corners and fight! And remember these three words! 'I'll allow it!" Now... LET'S GET IT ON!!!!! Seeker: Ey, Mate, can I get a beer before we start? Nighthawk: I've got a beer for you! (Hurls Acid Pellets at Seeker on the surprise phase, Seeker Martial Dodges, completely unsurprised.) Nick: Whoa, Johnny, Nighthawk didn't even leave his corner, and already Seeker's on the defensive! Johnny: Well, Judge Lane just said cheating is legal, so that's a big kick in the nads for Seeker, and Nighthawk's just getting started. Uh oh, looks like Nighthawk's getting out some sort of net. Nighthawk hurls the net at Seeker, who is still Martial Dodging with a DCV of 17, and misses, hitting Judge Mills Lane. Judge Lane, Struggling in the Net: I'll allow it! Keep fightin, you pansies! Nick: We'll be right back after this commercial break! Don't worry, you won't miss a minute of the action! Post 12 recovery...to be continued...

Re: What Have You Watched Recently? I saw Push, and totally loathed it. Do not see this. You will wish you hadn't. I saw Taken. If you haven't seen this. Don't. You will feel taken for sure, and your money will be out of your pocket.

Re: Super Action rules interpretation I don't understand why we're overcomplicating this. Teleport 15" (Or more, if your player is a cheesemonkey, he shouldn't be able to do this instantaneously from vast distances away) +6d6 HA, only to hit people after the teleport is completed. BIFF! And that way, if the Force Wall is hardened vs. Teleportation, there's even a defense. If you don't want to be able to have a defense, then buy the teleport with NND, and define the defense as some sort of motion based force screen special effect and a couple weird defenses, and you're good.

Re: Favorite 60-point Power Construction

It occurs to me that in 6th edition, a lot of power creep issues could be solved by putting the Strength Chart and how much it can lift on a sliding scale. That way, you don't need more dice, the campaign and def and body scores for objects becomes subject to the genre rather than a more "realistic" build design. If you want a STR of 30 to lift 1.6 tons, then it lifts 1.6 tons. But, if you want a STR of 30 to lift only .5 tons, for instance, everything changes. The way that this would work is something like this. STR Low Medium High Cosmic 0 0 0 0 0 10 25 KG 100 KG 100KG 100 KG 15 50 KG 200 KG 400 KG 800 KG 20 100 KG 400 KG 1.6 Tons 6.4 Tons 30 400 KG 1.6 Tons 6.4 Tons 25 Tons And so on. This assumes that the lifting chart delivers an equivalent amount of force applied for all powers and abilities. I.E. in a medium powered (Standard) Champions Campaign, a 12d6 EB delivers the equivalent of 100 Tons of force, the equivalent of a STR 60. Now you don't need to build things realistically, instead you just assign def and body scores based on the type of campaign you're running. In higher level games, you need weaker normals, but there are also optional rules that exist for that. Those are perfectly adjustable. I think this will eliminate the need to roll ridiculous numbers of dice and bring the system back to a point where people can roll the number of dice that can reasonably fit in one hand. I only ask that this idea be carefully considered.

Re: Favorite 60-point Power Construction Well, for sheer, raw, punishing power and ability, for the unbelievable ability to unbalance the game, there is only one winner that can be put down that doesn't require an excessively stupid construction. From the long ago playtest of the Ultimate Super Mage, here it is! Ready? 4d6 RKA. That's it. Nothing complicated, nothing over the top, just 4d6 RKA. Do the math. You'll be shocked.

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Wait a minute? Aren't these guys greek? Women are for childbearing, men are for love and all that?

Re: New team on the evening news My groups would immediately suspect them of being supervillains. They would investigate them thoroughly and vet them every chance they got. They wouldn't trust ANYONE who claimed to be so mighty that they had the right to judge what was and wasn't right for the entire world. They really would sit there and say "Are any of them secretly our old enemies? What are their real motives?" Quite frankly, they sound rather ominous, in a JLA "New World Order" kind of way.

Re: Adventures Into Darkness Is On Sale Now! I really loved this thing. It had the right feel to it.

Re: Characters Losing Their Souls - How To Handle It? I just say "This is a Mcguffin. He has your soul. Too bad."