Old Man

Re: The cranky thread Well, we don't know if extreme negative reinforcement will work unless we try. Hard.

Re: The cranky thread The words I would use have less to do with intelligence and more to do with sphincters.

Re: The cranky thread In other news, Thanksgiving is not exactly going according to plan.

Re: The cranky thread Wtf kind of [person] tickles an immobilized patient at a clinic? He better hope you never see him again.

Re: The "Nice Happy" Thread I actually find Stove Top to be hard to beat. So hard, in fact, that I have been known to eat it as an entree. Although I'm well aware of how healthy it is.

Re: The "Nice Happy" Thread Tomorrow, I will eat turkey and stuffing, which is my third favorite food in the universe, twice. Thanksgiving is probably my favorite holiday, though of course it helps that my family is relatively drama free. Mmmmm.... stuffing.

Re: The cranky thread Sympathies, Cancer. Hope the family is okay, under the circumstances. In other news, I got to my 10am meeting on time, only to notice a growing puddle of coolant under my car as I was getting out of it. Two thousand USD to fix. So much for my Christmas shopping.

Re: I have a dream. (and MAN was it wierd!) My mood was as black as the night sky as I pulled into the parking lot at the abandoned school. The sodium streetlights cast everything in harsh orange and black. I pulled into a random space and killed the engine. Sitting in the abrupt silence, I wondered why I had come. I knew this girl was nothing but trouble; hell, I fantasized every single day about telling her off and somehow ejecting her from my life forever. But I never did--laziness, stupidity, doormat, I didn't know why. Now here I was, meeting her past midnight at her request. This wasn't going to end well. Better to get it overwith, I thought. I stepped out into the chill night and headed to one of the school buildings. The place was deserted. I seriously had to consider that she might have something really sinister in mind for me--past experience had taught me that. I stayed alert as I headed down the hallway, looking for the right door. Here. I turned the handle and pushed, half expecting some kind of ambush as the door swung open. Her 'posse' was waiting for me all right, but there was no ambush. Instead this bunch of teenage losers was sitting around an old table, sullenly playing cards. The room was dark and filthy, like the teens themselves. They looked at me. I met their gaze. "Back there," one of them said, jerking his head toward the back of the room. Wordlessly I went around the corner indicated. It occurred to me that they were between me and the doorway, and could even attack me from behind. I still didn't look back. Better not to show weakness. The room was long, narrow, and even darker and filthier than the entryway. In the gloom it looked like it had been made into some kind of lounge once. I walked past the dance floor all the way to the back, where there was a raised area with old lounge booths. I climbed the stairs and waited in the dim light. I shook my head. This girl was all class. A moment later a side door opened and she came through. That haughty stride was all too familiar. As she approached I idly thought she might have been attractive once--her short, curvaceous body, black curls, and expressive face, probably lost forever under all the piercings, spikes, leather, and hate. What a shame. She walked right up to me, close, uncomfortably close. I stood my ground and held her gaze. "I'm here," I said. "What do you want?" I was ready for anything, or so I thought. She said nothing, just staring hard at me with an intense, unreadable expression. Then, abruptly, she kissed me. It was a fleeting kiss--just a peck, really, and she stepped back immediately. But now her brown eyes no longer showed anger and contempt. They showed hope, and fear, and pleading. And in that instant I realized that I hadn't been dealing with a cruel and hateful girl all this time, but a vulnerable one fighting to maintain her defenses--and finally surrendering. That sacrifice, on her part, changed everything. I stepped forward, then, pulled her close, and returned the kiss. Her lip spikes pushed painfully into my chin, but past them, her mouth was warm, and soft, and welcoming. Before long I felt her hands at my belt buckle, and I responded by unzipping her jacket. Under it she wore nothing, and she gasped slightly as I found her breasts, full and warm beneath the thick leather and chains. She yanked my shirt open then, pushing me backward until I fell back on the couch; the time had come to consummate our ceasefire. Lifting her skirt, she straddled

Re: Which is easier to swing, an axe or a sword? What if you had a telescoping axe handle such that the axe head was right by your hand, then as you swung it, the haft would extend so as to reach full length by the time of impact? Would this inflict the same damage as a standard axe while being easier to swing? Or would there be less force behind the head?

Re: The "Nice Happy" Thread Do people try to sneak in to the steakhouse from the Mexican restaurant?

Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Wife: "Look! It's a full moon. Watch out everybody, Daddy might turn into a werewolf." Boy #1: "Really?" Me: "Yup. I get all hairy and grow claws and fangs." Boy #1: "Wow, Daddy might turn into a werewolf!" Boy #2: "Or a pig!" Me: "Well, that's not--" Boy #1: "Or a frog!" Boy #2: "Or a chicken!" Boy #1: "Or a goldfish!" Me: *sigh*

Re: The cranky thread I had a cat once that was really a dog. Couldn't climb worth a damn, land on his feet, catch any birds or vermin, or keep himself clean. But sleeping in the rain, rolling in garbage, and generally acting stupid were specialties of his. Stupid cat. I miss him.

Re: The "Nice Happy" Thread Gee, my car stereo sounds much better now that I hooked the loose wires back up. Must have been rolling like that for months, if not years.

Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. "Why do you have such a dark sense of humor?" "Why do you not have a dark sense of humor? How do you get through the day? Are you f__king blind to the world around us or do you just drink a lot?"

Re: The cranky thread

Re: Music to Kill Zombies By D'oh!

Re: Tell me what you think The designation "heavy" carrier to me suggests a pretty self-sufficient vessel. It might not have direct firepower quite on the order of a Galaxy but it'd be close. Of greater significance would be defenses. I envision the mission of such a carrier would be to hold and control a system or area of space with its fighters and other craft, relying on them for most of their offense, while being tough enough to withstand a great deal of punishment so those craft have someplace to return to. Perhaps its weapons would be skewed toward those of a more defensive nature as well--more phasers, fewer torpedoes. Something like a "light" or "escort" carrier would be more likely to be a slow, defenseless shuttle truck. Of course if we are to continue the wet navy parallels, then even heavy carriers would rarely operate without an escort, if only because they're too expensive to risk.

Re: Music to Kill Zombies By 1. Mjolnir (I'd have gone with Stormbringer but that seems like a bad idea against zombies) 2. Far Beyond Driven - Pantera 3. Bruce Lee. Look everyone, I just resurrected Bruce Lee! Boo-yaa!

Re: The cranky thread Not exactly the greenest family I've ever heard of? Perhaps you should move to Seattle. Or Hilo.

Re: Music to Kill Zombies By 1. GE M134 7.62mm 6-barreled Gatling gun 1a. Optional MV-22 Osprey tiltrotor gunship accessory 2. "Killing in the Name" by Rage Against the Machine 3. Cyberdyne Systems Model 101 Terminator

Re: The cranky thread New turf? On 10 minutes of water per week? In summer? Really? Did someone not think this through?

Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Nah, we like you raw.

Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Sounds like she'd be perfect for tkdguy and that rash he has.

Re: The cranky thread You know what gave me that capability? Kids. I can lie down just about anywhere that's reasonably comfortable and fall asleep inside of a minute, whether I wanted to or not. Of course kids wake you up, on average, ten seconds after you fall asleep. But for nine seconds it would be a solution.

Re: What's the next step? IIRC solar sails may actually be faster than fusion, simply because sails don't have to carry a fuel source, and could be propelled from the launching system using lasers. Either way though, we're definitely talking multigeneration even for the nearest likely candidates. How would you go about setting up the society of such a ship so that its crew doesn't kill itself off halfway to the destination? How do you prepare the landing descendants, twelve or so generations ahead of time?