Re: The cranky thread
It is really, really difficult to keep my productivity up in the face of this long running case of burnout. I've been on this new job for two months and my to do list just keeps getting longer and longer despite the ten-hour days. It pays just enough to barely cover my expenses, to the point where I'm looking for freelance work to do on the side, but if the union strikes then I'm supposed to put in twelve-hour shifts six days a week, which would prevent even that. I wake up at 4 A.M. and start thinking about work and the mortgage, and then I can't get back to sleep. Five months after the layoff, I'm still in a position where a car breakdown or prolonged illness would cost me the house. As it is, I'm watching that house slowly disintegrate because we can't afford to fix or replace anything. I see people around me who need help and I can't do anything for them at all. And through it all I try to keep up appearances. I can't show weakness at work and I can't frighten the family at home. I hate to whine and be negative, but the fact is that I've been living in a state of constant, growing terror for years.