MrWolf Posted November 30, 2019 Report Share Posted November 30, 2019 Hi all - long time no post. So things are not going so well. Oh, I'm not sick or anything. Thankfully. But...my marriage isn't going so well right now. I'm not sure how much I should say in public even anonymously, like this, but PMs would be kind of welcome right about now. I know that's pretty oblique but that's where I am. Some of you may remember a thread I posted a while ago, but things aren't really better. So - how are you all? MrWolf Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted November 30, 2019 Report Share Posted November 30, 2019 Posting to say, hoping things go for the best. Without knowing any details I can’t give any advice welcome or not, but hope things occur for the highest greater good whatever that may entail. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tjack Posted November 30, 2019 Report Share Posted November 30, 2019 Best wishes and best of luck for you both. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkdguy Posted November 30, 2019 Report Share Posted November 30, 2019 Best of luck to you both. I hope everything turns out well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hermit Posted November 30, 2019 Report Share Posted November 30, 2019 11 hours ago, MrWolf said: Hi all - long time no post. So things are not going so well. Oh, I'm not sick or anything. Thankfully. But...my marriage isn't going so well right now. I'm not sure how much I should say in public even anonymously, like this, but PMs would be kind of welcome right about now. I know that's pretty oblique but that's where I am. Some of you may remember a thread I posted a while ago, but things aren't really better. So - how are you all? MrWolf As for the 'how are you all' thing, I've had better and worse days. I'm sorry to hear about your marriage having hit some rough times. I hope it's just a rough patch but, I wouldn't be the one to ask. I'm past the mid point of my lifespan, and have never been married. I have some good friends who make it work. I don't know how they do it but I'm glad for them. Hopefully someone like them on these boards can PM you and lend an experienced ear and advice if you want. If it doesn't offend you though, I can send good vibes and prayers for you and your wife? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrWolf Posted November 30, 2019 Author Report Share Posted November 30, 2019 Thoughts, good vibes, and prayers all welcome. I only have snippets, really, but sometimes a snippet is all you really need to see why the broader pattern is what it is, even something you didn't actually anticipate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom Posted December 1, 2019 Report Share Posted December 1, 2019 Things are... I haven't posted in forever either. I moved into a management position a few years back and my job pretty much ate my life. Not really sure how much of it is left, other than work, sometimes. And a snippet doesn't tell you as much as you think it might, not without additional snippets and context to flesh it all out. FWIW, my first marriage lasted a couple/few years. We were both young and I was in the Navy is the short version and I can only know my own perspective, blurred by the passage of time. My second marriage has lasted more than 26 years now. Roughly a year ago I learned I have a son from my first marriage that my ex-wife never told me about. And a granddaughter. And a daughter-in-law and three additional grandchildren. And then it gets complicated... I'm not the most active correspondent (especially not with the holiday stupid season in full swing), but I'm willing to give you an outside perspective from someone who has been through a few trials and tribulations and is somehow still putting one foot in front of the other. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrWolf Posted July 4, 2020 Author Report Share Posted July 4, 2020 Update. Not much better these days. Yay quarantine? pbemguy 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greywind Posted July 4, 2020 Report Share Posted July 4, 2020 Counseling? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrWolf Posted July 5, 2020 Author Report Share Posted July 5, 2020 Did that a few years ago. Didn't go anywhere. Let's just say ... she texts on her phone a lot. I mean for hours. And hides the screen, most of the time. Not thrilled. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord Liaden Posted July 12, 2020 Report Share Posted July 12, 2020 Not knowing a lot of details about your situation, this advice is going to be more general, and sound more blunt, than is my wont to give. When I face difficult situations, I ask myself if the good in the situation is greater than the bad; if the benefit outweighs the cost. If it does, keep working to make it as positive as possible. If it doesn't, get out of it. On the surface that sounds selfish, but "benefit" can be measured many ways. During the last years of my mother's life I was her primary caregiver. She suffered from dementia and a few other physical infirmities, and taking care of her had become a 24/7 job. Financially, physically and emotionally I was burning myself out. Many times I thought of just running, leaving my brother to be responsible for her, and starting over; but for me, abandoning her would have been worse than enduring the situation. In the end, though, I had to admit I'd reached the end of my endurance, and needed to arrange for nursing-home care for her. I felt guilty over that, but if I hadn't done it we both would have suffered the consequences. As the song says, "You gotta know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em." Greywind and Matt the Bruins 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greywind Posted July 12, 2020 Report Share Posted July 12, 2020 You just described the last several years of my life. My mother passed away in March. I'd been caregiver to her and my little brother prior to his death. Her health hadn't been the greatest, but she managed to outlive 2 of her children. Now I'm just cleaning up the mess. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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