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The August 2019 "You're not Doing Star Wars Right" superdraft


Hermit

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12 hours ago, Hermit said:

Folks. I believe I am currently caught up, but please let me know if I got something in your line up wrong. 

 

From Pigs in Space to very obsessed lawmen and more....

Brilliant work so far... just goes to show when we stick the proper formula we can't go wrong!

 

*Suddenly everything goes wrong*

 

I've jinxed it

 

Oh well we carry forth!

 

 

On 8/12/2019 at 9:47 PM, death tribble said:

My spaceship will be a minor inconsequential craft. The Sulaco

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sulaco_(fictional_spacecraft)

You forgot my space ship !

 

SOB !

 

Oh by the way, why is there a star by Snow White's name as my royal ?

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We ought not forget that the continuity in all the SW canon was the droids, and that R2-D2 in particular saved everyone's baconbutts more times than one can easily count.  IMO a robot ought to go in the protagonist gang, actually.  But, we'll impose our prejudices in an option pick.

 

Key Droid: Bender

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I still need to make my Stormtroopers pick. Citizen Chauvelin needs flunkies who are resourceful and determined, who don't know the meaning of the word 'Quit' (mainly because neither of them has ever cracked open a dictionary). I give you Marv Murchins and Harry Lyme.

 

 

A/K/A The Wet Bandits from Home Alone.

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Final option pick.  There were two important robots, of course, in the original franchise, though C3PO was mostly a buffoon for the acerbic and hyper-competent R2-D2.  To complete the droid duo in our travesty of a remake, we will draft Marvin the Paranoid Android from the Hitchhiker's Guide franchise.

 

(Irrelevant notes:

 

Holly from Red Dwarf was another possibility for droid #2, though she's anchored to a specific ship.

 

I noted upthread that the pick of Marvin the Martian was snipage, kind of.  At one point I had vague ideas at that time of drafting two Marvins -- Martian and Android -- perhaps as Stormtrooper duo, perhaps as sacrificial aunt and uncle for the Farmer protagonist, perhaps as something else.  I also toyed with ideas of drafting Marvin the Martian and Alex Murphy (Robocop) as stormtroopers.

 

For a little while I contemplated Judge Doom for my Big Bad, and the NSEA Protector as my starship.  

 

Had my pick of Freddy Mercury as royalty protagonist not worked, then it would probably have been (with Dejah Thoris already taken) Ann Jillian's portrayal of the Red Queen in the 1985 TV musical adaptation of  Alice in Wonderland (where she would have served as the party blonde as well), but stumbling over Nikita on TV one evening let me pick the party blonde differently, and allowed the complete gender inversion of the protagonist gang.  We don't have the all-out babe appeal that Old Man's crew has, but we haven't done too badly; and we have things set up perfectly for an utter toxic-waste dumpster-fire Rocky Horror-esque travesty of a remake of the princess-in-a-bikini scene with Freddy in the second movie. :eg:

 

"You're Not doing Star Wars right" ... yeah, we certainly aren't and we'll prove it with our selected re-do of the famous theme music!

 

So yeah, you really don't want our "Not Doing Right" version of the second movie.  Really.)

 

 

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41 minutes ago, Lucius said:

I agree that the set-up should have included stand-in picks for the robots.

 

As is, I am choosing a robot for my "token non-human"

 

No-Man

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/T.H.U.N.D.E.R._Agents

 

 

Lucius Alexander

 

You were expecting a palindromedary?

 

You can use an option pick for that if you like. Anthony Dunn was human before he became No Man.. so realy he doesn't fit the category of Token Alien Side Kick as a living being OR a robot.

 

 

 

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Though No-man raises lots of interesting issues, things that Tower Comics (I bought a couple these in first run back then) didn't crack open back in the early 1960s but seem like interesting issues that are MUCH closer to real-world now and could be explored in fascinating ways in a comic nowadays.

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1 minute ago, Lucius said:

 

Would Frankenstein's Creature count as an alien?
 

Lucius Alexander

 

The palindromedary says we can cancel No-Man for now

 

Well, I've killed your fun once, so let's say sure... :) maybe he has a Kree liver we don't know about. Would yo ulike that as your Token ALien sidekick pick then?

 

 

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I believe I have one Option pick left, and I'm going to use it now. An adventure as epic as this one suggests--nay, demands!--more than just a slow text crawl at the beginning. It needs a narrator, someone to bring life and color and flair to the drama. And so we will have one:

 

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Ruby Rhod!

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