Old Man Posted February 8, 2018 Report Share Posted February 8, 2018 If you have any assets, take the time to write a legal will--or better yet, set up a trust. Under no circumstances allow your estate to go into probate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted February 11, 2018 Report Share Posted February 11, 2018 Tips for the new driver: If your car is on fire, do not drive around looking for a lake to drive into. Do not attempt to eat pizza off the dashboard. No matter how much they look like big fat licorice donuts, tires taste really bad. If your windshield fogs up, do not try to lick it clear. The "R" on your transmission selector does not stand for "Race". Do not attempt to develop the skill of steering with your foot so you can use your hands to text while driving. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted February 11, 2018 Report Share Posted February 11, 2018 Texting while driving is the second dumbest thing you can do behind the wheel of a car. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted March 15, 2018 Report Share Posted March 15, 2018 If there is ever a time to carry spare calculator batteries, that time is Finals Week. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Man Posted March 15, 2018 Report Share Posted March 15, 2018 Don’t stick it in the crazy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Badger Posted March 15, 2018 Report Share Posted March 15, 2018 On 2/10/2018 at 9:35 PM, Pariah said: Texting while driving is the second dumbest thing you can do behind the wheel of a car. The first is being from North Carolina. (people in certain parts of Virginia, who often come in contact with traveling NCers might understand that better) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted March 16, 2018 Report Share Posted March 16, 2018 Starting with the 20-pounders is foolish. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Badger Posted March 22, 2018 Report Share Posted March 22, 2018 Parents should warn their children to never talk to clowns in sewers Pariah 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted March 22, 2018 Report Share Posted March 22, 2018 When angry, count ten. When really angry, swear. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted March 22, 2018 Report Share Posted March 22, 2018 Don't order bomb components using your cell phone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted March 22, 2018 Report Share Posted March 22, 2018 Never begin a conversation with a stranger by asking if he has six fingers on his right hand. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Man Posted March 22, 2018 Report Share Posted March 22, 2018 4 hours ago, Cancer said: Don't order bomb components using your cell phone. Nor should you buy them at Home Depot with your credit card. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
death tribble Posted March 22, 2018 Report Share Posted March 22, 2018 Go West Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steriaca Posted March 22, 2018 Report Share Posted March 22, 2018 5 hours ago, Pariah said: Never begin a conversation with a stranger by asking if he has six fingers on his right hand. Never begin a conversation with a stranger by asking if his right hand is actually a left hand. Cancer 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Man Posted March 23, 2018 Report Share Posted March 23, 2018 Never ask a woman when she's due to give birth unless she specifically lets you know she's pregnant first. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted March 23, 2018 Report Share Posted March 23, 2018 Never ask a man the same question. Pariah 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted March 27, 2018 Report Share Posted March 27, 2018 When all term long the instructor has emphasized uncertainty analysis in a class, blowing off the uncertainty analysis in your final assignment of that class is a very bad idea. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted March 27, 2018 Report Share Posted March 27, 2018 Asking stupid questions is easier than fixing stupid mistakes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Badger Posted March 28, 2018 Report Share Posted March 28, 2018 On 3/22/2018 at 8:20 PM, Old Man said: Never ask a woman when she's due to give birth unless she specifically lets you know she's pregnant first. Heh, had a woman at work, who went out Feb 25th(approx.) to give birth, I didn't know she was pregnant till over hearing a conversation in early February. Oh and for advice: When guessing a woman's age or weight, take the Price is Right principle, you do not want to go over. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted March 31, 2018 Report Share Posted March 31, 2018 Making pie crust goes easier if you grate frozen butter into the flour mixture and then start in with the pastry cutter. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Badger Posted April 1, 2018 Report Share Posted April 1, 2018 In honor of the Ten Commandments playing tonight, and me thinking about one particular scene: A room with both your wife and ex-girlfriend in it, will never need air conditioning Pariah and tkdguy 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted April 2, 2018 Report Share Posted April 2, 2018 If you are a happily married man, and intend on remaining such, never leave your wife and kids at home for weeks on end while you tour the country with a gorgeous Swedish soprano. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
L. Marcus Posted April 2, 2018 Report Share Posted April 2, 2018 Aw, you can tag along if you want to. Pariah 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted April 2, 2018 Report Share Posted April 2, 2018 3 hours ago, Pariah said: If you are a happily married man, and intend on remaining such, never leave your wife and kids at home for weeks on end while you tour the country with a gorgeous Swedish soprano. Knowing me knowing you is the best I can do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starlord Posted April 2, 2018 Author Report Share Posted April 2, 2018 Sounds like an S.O.S. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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