Your evil army

[Nothere]

On a hill overlooking a large field your nemisis stands in the center of a circle. THe circle is the focal point of a spell. Just before the spell is completed, you knock your nemisis out of the circle unconsious. On the field below Dzens of similar looking and armed people appear.

 

Questioning the mystic who cast the spell you get told the following.

 

"They are your army of evil. !00, 000 strong they will obey you untterly./ If you were to command them to sdtand there, they would. Not moving even ere the last of them falls dead. THough be aware there are no replacements. Also as you are a "hero" you should remember they are evil. If you advise them to go forth and find food, or to get money they will do so by robbing and killing. Though of cvourse they will spare anyone you specifically order them not too. That once."

 

Shocked you look down at the hundred thousand looking up at you. Now what?

[Hermit]

Re: Your evil army

 

Doctor Sanguine , being a mystic, would try to reverse the ritual and return them back from whence they came

[McCoy]

Re: Your evil army

 

All characters: "Everybody, thank you for coming, but we've decided to go in a different direction. Please return home as directly as possible without endangering yourselves or anyone else. Thank you again!"

[Cygnia]

Re: Your evil army

 

Are they actually living, sentient entities or some form of construct/undead?

[Xavier Onassiss]

Re: Your evil army

 

100,000 evil soldiers? And they'll do what I say? But I'm a HERO and I'm sworn to oppose evil in all its forms....

 

"Alright... 50,000 of you, over HERE! Now... 50,000 of you, over THERE! Okay... FIGHT!"

 

Assuming they're all identical, two evenly matched evil armies will proceed to annihilate each other.

 

That was easy enough. Not sure what I'd do if I had a code against killing....

[Zen Archer]

Re: Your evil army

 

I do the obvious thing, which is attempt to enter the Guiness record books for "Largest Thriller Dance".

[CrosshairCollie]

Re: Your evil army

 

"They do anything I say? Okay then ... ATTENTION SOLDIERS: BECOME GOOD. YOU ARE NOW A FORCE FOR JUSTICE IN THE WORLD."

[Alverant]

Re: Your evil army

 

Have them march to Africa and attack the warlords there.

 

Wait, you say there's an ocean between here and there? Oops!

[Blue]

Re: Your evil army

 

Assign them latrine duty. Gotta earn your spot in my army.

[薔薇語]

Re: Your evil army

 

The Rose:

Inner thought: "Well, I guess I don't have to keep holding tryouts for new sidekicks, I have several thousand 'expendable' ones."

Outter Thought: "Well, I guess we must make the best of this curse, team."

"Hey, can any of you cook?! Preferably in a non-evil way?"

 

La Rose.

[Nothere]

Re: Your evil army

 

Living sentient. And sorry evil army. Become good, not really an option. Cool idea, but sadly not one that works.

[Lucius]

Re: Your evil army

 

They have arms and armor. Do they have any other equipment, supplies, or rations, or is feeding and quartering them (assuming I don't just march them off a cliff into the sea) an immediate crisis?

 

Lucius Alexander

 

Can I mount them on palindromedaries?

[teh bunneh]

Re: Your evil army

 

w00t! My own ebil army! "OK, boys, let's get to rampagin'!"

[Cygnia]

Re: Your evil army

 

w00t! My own ebil army! "OK' date=' boys, let's get to rampagin'!" [/quote']

 

So, a typical Tuesday for teh Bunneh then?

[Nothere]

Re: Your evil army

 

Arms yes. Armor no. Provisions no

[DusterBoy]

Re: Your evil army

 

Arms yes. Armor no. Provisions no

 

Presumably they have legs, too?

[CrosshairCollie]

Re: Your evil army

 

Presumably they have legs' date=' too? [/quote']

 

Maybe they're Daleks.

[Lucius]

Re: Your evil army

 

Arms yes. Armor no. Provisions no

 

So, this guy arranged to summon an enormous army for some purpose which my character has inherited.....

 

edit: That is, my character inherited the army, not the purpose....

 

but the original mastermind made no logistical preparations for supporting his army once he had it?

 

 

While I'm at it, why are we trusting what his erstwhile ally who enacted the ritual is saying?

 

And what else can he do?

 

Lucius Alexander

 

What would a palindromedary do?

[hfergus]

Re: Your evil army

 

Since none of my characters have a code vs killing:

 

All would say "Stand ten in a circle and kill the guy to your right. Any survivors, repeat it until all dead or only one left. Last one left, stand and wait for further commands and do nothing" The last one will starve.

[Major Tom 2009]

Re: Your evil army

 

So' date=' a typical Tuesday for teh Bunneh then? [/quote']

 

 

There's an easy way to deal with the problem in that case: just arrange for 100,000 bunny suits

to be delivered to his evil army, then tell them that they've won an all-expenses paid trip to

Australia, but they have to wear the bunny suits in order to collect.

 

The real problem'll be timing it so that they get there in time for the next rabbit population explos-

ion. Of course, the 100,000 evil guys in bunny suits will be very warmly welcomed -- especially by

the Australian Army (or whatever they have in that part of the world that handles national defense).

 

 

 

Major Tom 2009

[TheQuestionMan]

Re: Your evil army

 

Cougar - Contact a Superhuman with Super Intelligence and beg his advice.

 

Stalwart - Contact UNTIL for assistance.

 

Sunburst - March them to US/Mexico border and dig a trench.

 

Cheers

 

QM

[Lord Mhoram]

Re: Your evil army

 

Blackcat who is more an interdimensional special agent than superhero these days would just gate them all to the main city of the Pentarchy and turn them over to the leaders there. They have uses for evil people in their organization (for good ends). Might send them to a Demon controlled world and have them kill as many demons as they can or something.

 

Sift and Ballistic would send them back to whence they came - Magic VPPs outa be worth something (Ballistic's is at 90 points right now).

 

Meeb would keep them. The group he is with are good guys in that they fight bad guys, but they cause more property damage and other stuff than any other superteam I've played on. They are all really ugly and called The Freak Squad. It would fit to have an army of evil to do good things.

[Gnaskar]

Re: Your evil army

 

Kale, Necromancer and would-be god: Demand that every soldier in the army go out and acquire a suit of black full plate, a good weapon, and a black onyx gem worth at least 500 gold pieces. Holds weekly sacrifices of the ones who return successful, and reanimates them as skeletons (with their old souls or equivalent stored in their skulls). With a force that large, and with his magical talent, he could rule the world.

 

Captain Citadel: Would turn them over to the US military, who he trusts absolutely.

[Badger]

Re: Your evil army

 

Badger- "Why the hell would I want to lead?........Alright! Everyone, obey the orders of my friend here (the team's leader/do-gooder boy scout). (to do-gooder boy scout) There you problem, now, bye. Note: Yes, Badger, makes it difficult for the poor team leader on occasion.

[Lucius]

Re: Your evil army

 

On a hill overlooking a large field your nemisis stands in the center of a circle. THe circle is the focal point of a spell. Just before the spell is completed, you knock your nemisis out of the circle unconsious. On the field below Dzens of similar looking and armed people appear.

 

Questioning the mystic who cast the spell you get told the following.

 

"They are your army of evil. !00, 000 strong they will obey you untterly./ If you were to command them to sdtand there, they would. Not moving even ere the last of them falls dead. THough be aware there are no replacements. Also as you are a "hero" you should remember they are evil. If you advise them to go forth and find food, or to get money they will do so by robbing and killing. Though of cvourse they will spare anyone you specifically order them not too. That once."

 

Shocked you look down at the hundred thousand looking up at you. Now what?

 

Achmed the Agile looks out over the enormous army. He raises his voice.

 

"Commanders and most experienced warriors: assemble there." He points. "Await instructions. Oh - and secure HIM." Indicating the unconscious Democulus. "Strip him bare. Carefully, he may have magic boobytraps. If he comes to, warn him to silence. If he says one word, kill him."

 

Turning to the summoner, Achmed barks more orders. "I need you to call Sepherin. And call The Dragon."

 

"A dragon? I just raised an army and you want me to summon a dragon? I can't, boy, I don't have it in me. I don't have energy left to light a candle."

 

"Not A dragon. THE Dragon. And you don't 'summon' Gods like Sepherin, Judge of the Dead or The Dragon, Warden of the Balance. I know nothing of summoning, but I know that. But you were a priest of Sepherin, and you can get His attention."

 

"The last thing I WANT is His attention, but if you're such a fool, slaughter a few dozen soldiers in His Name and He'll know you're here. Whether He responds is up to Him."

 

Achmed looked grim. "I can get His attention with only one death." Turning to the soldiers guarding the fallen Democulus, he raised his voice again. "Bring the prisoner up here." Soon his hated enemy was dumped at his feet, and he crouched down. "I have faked death or unconsciousness myself many times. I know you're faking. Don't dare say a word, Democulus, but I want you to look me in the eyes." When they opened, the defeated villain's eyes were full of hate and helpless rage.

 

"I am sure Sepherin is looking forward to meeting you. Tell Him I have an army a few days march from the Defiled Lands. He has an opportunity that will not come again in a millennia." The hate filled eyes widened in shock. "You'd give this army to the Damned Drowned...." His words died in a gurgling choking cry and his throat was cut.

 

Achmed wiped his blade on the corpse's hair and stood. The look of approval in the eyes of the troops nearby sickened him. He turned to the exhausted summoner.

 

"If I'm to bargain with the Great Corruptor, I need a witness, and there's only one I trust beneath the Pancreator Himself. How do I get the attention of The Dragon?!"

 

Wordlessly the summoner pointed. Achmed looked, puzzled, and then he saw it. A massive shape he had taken for clouds blocking part of the starry sky resolved itself, somehow, into a face. Not a Human face. Awed, Achmed bowed in that direction. Then jerked upright as the body of his enemy stirred and began to drag itself to its feet.

 

The corpse of Democulus spoke. "You have My attention, mortal. And when I'm through using this meat, it is my present to you. Let the lifeless flesh of Democulus serve you, moving at your will, as bound within it the hatred of Democulus smolders. A fitting punishment for a would be usurper, and the smallest part of the rewards I have in mind for you."

 

"Lord of the Dead, I offer to lead this army to take back for You the lands that were Yours, but my price is not undead servants."

 

"Of course. You want your brother back, the noble Ali. Perhaps I can...."

 

"NO!" Achmed trembled with rage, and with terror, for he had interrupted a God. "No. There was a time I wanted that more than anything, but now.....I see it would cheapen his sacrifice. I want more than the life of one man, even the best of men. I want the Balance." He had not been stricken where he stood, so he continued. "I want You in the Defiled Lands, where You belong. I want the usurper Pellnor who dared to steal power from a God, overthrown. I want the Defilement confined to the ancient borders, I want an end to vampires and hags and demons haunting the lands that rightfully belong to the living. You have been called Corruptor, but never have You been utterly Corrupt; always You have been Judge of the Dead, and in that office have condemned none but by their own chosen deeds. I want You honored among the Gods, as once You were."

 

"This, from a mortal who has stumbled into command of an army and has no power of his own and had much to fear from judges even before ever meddling in the affairs of Gods. Even to do as you pledge will risk your life and soul and you may fail. And I suppose you have a plan to return the Amorin to Me, My people who turned from Me when the new God Decker gave them forms like unto those of Humans?"

 

Perhaps some one of the other Gods inspired Achmed to his gambit. "If You return to Your old glory, You to whom every mortal must submit at the end as Judge, if You are honored again as a God of Justice and not feared as an embodiment of revenge and malice, do You not think they would turn to You of their own wills? They know Who gave them Being." And if You do not accept my offer, he thought, I will march in the other direction, and conquer the Bel Kingdom, putting an end to their persecution and violence against all who are unlike themselves, and give it to the Amorin as a homeland, doing all in the name of Decker. That would mark me as Decker's so that even if I fall in the attempt, Sepherin would be obliged to pass my soul on to the Human God - no matter how much the Judge would hate pronouncing that verdict.

 

A voice came from everywhere and nowhere - The Dragon spoke. "The bargain is permitted. The mortal speaks only for himself and offers to attempt only what he may succeed in doing. If the God agrees, He will, if the mortal keeps his end of the bargain, be bound to His allotted land, to His temples, and to His roles: to judge the dead as they die, but not to bring them death before their time; to command the corrupt, but not to spread corruption in any sense; to raise undead to defend what is His, but not to send them abroad to trouble the living; to rule the Defiled, but not to defile further of His own accord. It is for Sepherin to judge whether He accepts these terms."

 

Lucius Alexander

 

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