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Ragitsu

By Ragitsu
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Ragitsu Grand Master

Ragitsu

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They are taking this realism to the new f**king level. In real life there is advertisement everywhere and Alan Wake captures the realism nicely. In Alan Wake 2 we can assume he is going to go to eat in Burger King, Mc Donalds or Pizza Hut. Or maybe he will stuff his belly with Kentucky Fried Chicken. Alan Wake will collect Nokia mobilephones in the sequel. And maybe he will even play Alan Wake on Xbox in Alan Wake 2. Who the f**k knows anymore.

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Ragitsu Grand Master

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June 29th, 2:19 P.M.

 

Chuckling, the man with the megaphone gestures towards the bus. "Uh huh. We'll see about that. Alright Bucko, tell them to get off the bus already. I saw a woman get on there, and I -know- it's not just the few of you after that other bus we found just like it." He pauses at the comments on the nuclear plant, then leans against the door on his elbows, letting the megaphone sway in his grasp for a few lingering moments before speaking through it again. "Sure. Saw a bunch of dip-****Redhawks dead and buried and a whole lot of ****ing ash. But same ****, different *******, right guys?" The riflemen on the back of the truck laugh, and level off their weapons at Brandon and Hobbs.

 

Eastward, the Jeep arrives at the approaching figure, and there seems to be a pause for some discourse. The men brandish their firearms, before the figure is loaded onto the back with the two of them, turning back around to head back to the main street standstill. Pulling back up alongside the muscle car, the Jeep comes to a stop and the men unload from it once again--this time with a stranger en tow, a gaunt and pallid man wearing a rain-drenched duster and a wide-brimmed hat. He steps off the back of the Jeep after the coaxing prod of a rifle's barrel, and you see that he is carrying a briefcase in a gloved hand, a pair of rimless round sunglasses on his face. The man with the megaphone sizes the fellow up and walks over, saying something that you can't quite make out and gesturing to the briefcase.

 

Smiling, the fellow in the hat lifts the case up for the 'leader', who tucks his megaphone under arm and pops the latches on the case. When he opens it, a dark shape blurs from within the case against his chest with a loud wet pop, caving his ribs out through the flesh of his back like the spines on a porcupine. Casually, as the gunmen gawk dumbstruck, the pale man turns on the man beside him, burying a curved blade into his stomach before lifting it smoothly up through his sternum, splitting the man open with a crackling hiss, his innards spilling into the rain.

 

With that, the other men begin to fire.

 

Adrenaline time. The bus is boxed in, the Prius has two flats and is still entrenched on the spike strip. The bus is fifteen, maybe twenty yards from the sudden carnage. Both riflemen have fired wild, neither hit the pale man. The man from the Jeep who had a bead on him is still emptying the contents of his torso onto the wet pavement. Both remaining armed men in the Jeep are scrambling to fire on the pale man. The driver of the muscle car is fumbling for something in the car. The man on the motorcycle is unsheathing his chainsaw.

 

Raymond has failed his phobia and fright checks. Boris has failed his fright check. Brandon, Becky, and Jacob have all lost 2 FP as they feel vomit and bile surge into their throats.

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Clonus Grand Master

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It's fairly contrived. Why did Justin mention having to go back to the comics shop? Because otherwise he could drive Elliot to the dojo, of course. Melissa has to stay involved until this story ends, when she will presumably be thrown back in the toybox for 3-5 years as Greg was.

 

Here's the thing: what stops Elliot from just becoming Gracelyn and walking away? Nothing that I can see, except that it isn't where the story is going.

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Ragitsu Grand Master

Ragitsu

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Preparation

 

 

Once you have selected your human it is time to prepare it for cooking. Unfortunately, most modern stores still do not carry human, so it will be up to you to butcher and clean the carcass. For those of us who are unfamiliar with butchering their own meat we may want to consider paying the local butcher shop to do it for you. If you are up to doing the job yourself, there are many great reference books, such as Grey's Anatomy, to help you along. For a first timer, it is usually best to catch yourself a fat human, this way you can practice the various carving techniques on their many rolls of fat. You get more practice and a bigger meal- that way!! While some organ meat is quite good, most human organs are just too foul to be safely eaten. Brain is the most popular organ meat followed closely by kidneys. Avoid eating the liver at all costs, as humans tend to abuse their livers and thus they are full of lethal toxins.

Like other large animals, the average human will yield quite a lot of meat of various qualities and types. Typical cuts are bicep steaks, rump roasts and thigh hams. Ribs are very popular for the bar-b-q and fingers are great when tossed in a nice buffalo wing coating and baked. Toes can also be a delicious treat, less healthy but much sweeter than fingers. Females may be a less likely dish to take when it comes to toes due to the toxic paint they place upon them, however if you see one in flip flops without this paint, feel obliged to devour them.

 

 

 

If you're looking for some delicious hams, look no further than your local school . Girls at the ages of 10-15 and boys at the ages of 10 -12 have perfectly sized thighs that make excellent meals. Simply add spices and sugar and voila. Calves also make good drumsticks. Breaded, fried, oiled, buttered and plane taste phenomenal. Males tend to have tough calves that may be chewy, especially to me, however they are less fatty sometimes. However, for softer sweeter and sometimes juicier meat, look for girls. Athletes tend to have more leg meat thus more food. Soccer players, cheerleaders, gymnasts, runners, etc. all have perfect leg meat.

This is a step-by-step guide on how to break down the human body from the full figure into serviceable choice cuts of meat. As in any field, there are a number of methods to the practice, and you may wish to view this as a set of suggestions rather than concrete rules. You will notice that the carving of the larger or "commercial" cuts down into smaller specific or "retail" cuts will be only mentioned in passing, and not concentrated upon. Also, the use of human fat and viscera is generally avoided, and left only to the most experimental chef. These choices, along with recipes and serving suggestions, are nearly infinite in variety, and we leave them to you. We've found these guidelines to be simple and functional, but recognize that there is always room for improvement and we welcome your suggestions.

Before getting to the main task, it must be mentioned that the complete rendering of the human carcass requires a fairly large amount of time, effort, and space. If the consumer does not wish to go through the ordeal of processing and storing the bulk of the entire animal, an easy alternative is as follows. Simply saw through one or both legs at the points directly below the groin and a few inches above the knee. Once skinned, these portions may then be cut into round steaks of the carver's preferred thickness, cut into fillets, deboned for a roast, etc. Meat for several meals is thus readily obtained without the need for gutting and the complexities of preparing the entire form

 

 

The human being (also referred to throughout culinary history as "long pig" and "hairless goat" in the case of younger specimens) is not generally thought of as a staple food source. Observing the anatomy and skeleton, one can see that the animal is neither built nor bred for its meat, and as such will not provide nearly as much flesh as a pig or cow (for example, an average 1000 pound steer breaks down to provide 432 pounds of saleable beef). The large central pelvis and broad shoulder blades also interfere with achieving perfect cuts. There are advantages to this however, especially due to the fact that the typical specimen will weigh between 100-200 pounds, easily manipulated by one person with sufficient leverage.

 

 

Here the caution in choosing your meal must be mentioned. It is VERY IMPORTANT to remember that animals raised for slaughter are kept in tightly controlled environments with their health and diet carefully maintained. Humans are not. Thus not only is the meat of each person of varying quality, but people are also subject to an enormous range of diseases, infections, chemical imbalances, and poisonous bad habits, all typically increasing with age. Also as an animal ages, the meat loses its tenderness, becoming tough and stringy. No farm animal is ever allowed to age for thirty years. Six to thirteen months old is a more common slaughtering point. You will obviously want a youthful but mature physically fit human in apparently good health. A certain amount of fat is desirable as "marbling" to add a juicy, flavorful quality to the meat. We personally prefer firm Caucasian females in their early twenties. These are "ripe". But tastes vary, and it is a very large herd.

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