Cancer Posted November 29, 2012 Report Share Posted November 29, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Seen in a store last Saturday: a sign saying "Don't make me send the flying monkeys after you" Me: "Suddenly I flash on a vision of an aircraft carrier with baboons getting into their F-16's and being catapulted off on a strike." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Man Posted November 29, 2012 Report Share Posted November 29, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Celt Posted November 30, 2012 Report Share Posted November 30, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Elsewhere on the internet... Magneto: Uh, so, why can't I control your suit? Iron Man: Oh yeah, carbon-fiber composite, latest and greatest. Magneto: So... are we calling you Plastic Man now? Iron Man: .... Magneto: So uh, have you guys met our new friend Plastic Man? Iron Man: Damn it! Magneto: Oh yeah, shrapnel near your heart, right? Dead. Iron Man: No! No! Wai... Uck. Splat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drhoz Posted December 3, 2012 Report Share Posted December 3, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Purrdence put $55 through the washing machine. As she cried afterwards "I'm a money launderer!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted December 3, 2012 Report Share Posted December 3, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. (Conversation between wife, daughter, and daughter's female friend about having eight kittens we're fostering all locked up in the master bathroom; girls are laughing heartily as I walk in.) Wife: "I had to explain to them the hazards of kittens in the bathroom to men's dangly bits." (Laughter ramps up a notch.) Me: "Meh, that's not a problem. But along those lines, I am very sure I've peed on more kittens' heads than any of you have." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Man Posted December 3, 2012 Report Share Posted December 3, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. (As I drove the kids home from camping, when we were almost home, a chicken darted out into the road, forcing me to brake before it kept going.) Me: (shouting at the chicken) "Why?! WHYYYYYYY" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FrankL Posted December 4, 2012 Report Share Posted December 4, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. (As I drove the kids home from camping, when we were almost home, a chicken darted out into the road, forcing me to brake before it kept going.) Me: (shouting at the chicken) "Why?! WHYYYYYYY" Oklahoma chickens cross the road to show the armadillo that is can be done. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hfergus Posted December 4, 2012 Report Share Posted December 4, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Oklahoma chickens cross the road to show the armadillo that is can be done.Louisiana chickens too. (never saw a live armadillo, but dead ones in the road...) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FrankL Posted December 4, 2012 Report Share Posted December 4, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Louisiana chickens too. (never saw a live armadillo' date=' but dead ones in the road...)[/quote'] 'dillos dig holes in the yard at night, too. Holes that are just the right size to step in, trip, and twist your ankle while mowing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
L. Marcus Posted December 5, 2012 Report Share Posted December 5, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Also, apparently, they like to spoon you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Man Posted December 5, 2012 Report Share Posted December 5, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Armadillos kicked my dog and keyed my car. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted December 6, 2012 Report Share Posted December 6, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Another reason the Armadillo World Headquarters was pulled down in the early 1980s. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Klytus Posted December 7, 2012 Report Share Posted December 7, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Wife: I have an odd craving for ginger ale and cranberry juice: it's the closest thing to a real drink. Me: That is a drink! Or did you mean "drink" as in booze? Wife: Exactly! It's kind of like a vodka and cranberry juice, except with ginger ale instead of vodka. In fact, it's pretty much exactly that! Me: This is so getting posted... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Man Posted December 7, 2012 Report Share Posted December 7, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Wife: Look, there's a searchlight up ahead! Me: Yeah, they're having the tree lighting ceremony today. Older boy: What's the searchlight for? Me: It's a celebration thing they do when they have an event, like fireworks but quieter. Older boy: Then why do they call it a searchlight? Me: They used to use them to find planes at night. Younger boy: Oh no! Is Santa Claus lost? Me: What? No, Santa has GPS, and it's not even Chr-- Younger boy: Santa Claus is lost! Santa Claus is lost! Older boy: Can't they use the searchlight to call Batman? Younger boy: Batman! Batman will save Santa Claus! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enforcer84 Posted December 7, 2012 Report Share Posted December 7, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. hehe. I know you and the wife don't always get along OldMan but you did bring 2 pretty awesome boys into the universe. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BoneDaddy Posted December 7, 2012 Report Share Posted December 7, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. My number one son might have said "My aspergers," or "My Autism," or "because I'm an aspie," or even "My aspergerishness." He did not. He said "My aspieness." Number two son: "You said penis!" Number one son: "No I didn ... Ohmygod." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
L. Marcus Posted December 7, 2012 Report Share Posted December 7, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. ... He said more than that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkdguy Posted December 7, 2012 Report Share Posted December 7, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Boss: Mixed nuts would be good for the Christmas party. Me: "Mixed nuts" describes half the people working here! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AmadanNaBriona Posted December 9, 2012 Report Share Posted December 9, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. "'Sanity' is the term little people use who want you to conform to their paradigm. F*ck it." -Me, to an old friend, a fellow artist Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John T Posted December 9, 2012 Report Share Posted December 9, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. "'Sanity' is the term little people use who want you to conform to their paradigm. F*ck it." -Me' date=' to an old friend, a fellow artist[/quote'] "'Normal' is a setting on a dishwasher." -my wife, Michelle Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Klytus Posted December 9, 2012 Report Share Posted December 9, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. When artists and creative types dream of a fantasy world, it's a place filled with magic and wonder; when the stuffed-shirt Ultra Conservatives dream of a fantasy world, it's filled with "normal". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John T Posted December 9, 2012 Report Share Posted December 9, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. And now I'm hearing "And wonderful, wonderful dishwashers, as far as the eye can see! My god, it'll be beautiful!" in Christopher Lloyd's voice... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted December 10, 2012 Report Share Posted December 10, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. "You might like it." "I'm not willing to take that chance." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John T Posted December 10, 2012 Report Share Posted December 10, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. "I am daily reaffirmed in the belief that schools should include a required class on Reading And Following Written Instructions." -Me, on Twitter Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkdguy Posted December 11, 2012 Report Share Posted December 11, 2012 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. "Look on the bright side. For once you're complaining about something that has nothing to do with Kim Kardashian." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.