Guest Celt Posted September 2, 2011 Report Share Posted September 2, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. While waiting on line for badge pick up at Dragon*Con across the street is the Georgia Dept of Labor building. 8x11 paper signs taped to the window on 4th floor say 'Geeks Rule!', 'Save me a place in line!' and 'Gone over to the Dark Side'. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Man Posted September 3, 2011 Report Share Posted September 3, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. "Eew, you drooled on your teddy bear and now it stinks." "Well, Daddy stinks too!" "What? I don't--" "He smells like he's in the dump!" (everyone laughs except me) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Burrito Boy Posted September 5, 2011 Report Share Posted September 5, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. "Wow, an armored school bus. That's awesome. They could use those in L.A." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shadow Hawk Posted September 5, 2011 Report Share Posted September 5, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. "This morning, I was in Seattle, surrounded by BC liscense plates. This evening, I am in San Diego, surrounded by BC liscense plates." (Seattle, Washington, USA is directly south of British Columbia, Canada... San Diego, California USA is directly north of Baja California, Mexico.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted September 5, 2011 Report Share Posted September 5, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. "Rats, I left my dust rag in the other room. Oh well, underwear will do." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SSgt Baloo Posted September 6, 2011 Report Share Posted September 6, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Me to my Mom: "I think I've developed the first sign of senile dementia. A few days ago I was admiring a beautiful car when I suddenly realized I was ogling a Buick." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enforcer84 Posted September 6, 2011 Report Share Posted September 6, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. it's hard to cut down on masturbation when my microwave vegetables tell me to gently massage the package before putting in microwave... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Man Posted September 6, 2011 Report Share Posted September 6, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Sounds as though you need to have a lady friend nuke your veggies for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BoloOfEarth Posted September 6, 2011 Report Share Posted September 6, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. it's hard to cut down on masturbation when my microwave vegetables tell me to gently massage the package before putting in microwave... Dude, you really shouldn't microwave your junk. Just sayin'. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Klytus Posted September 6, 2011 Report Share Posted September 6, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. it's hard to cut down on masturbation when my microwave vegetables tell me to gently massage the package before putting in microwave... There ain't enough rep in the word for this! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teh bunneh Posted September 7, 2011 Report Share Posted September 7, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. "This is my new girlfriend. She doesn't know it yet. I will make her love me." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrosshairCollie Posted September 7, 2011 Report Share Posted September 7, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. "This is my new girlfriend. She doesn't know it yet. I will make her love me." ... Fluttershy? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Celt Posted September 7, 2011 Report Share Posted September 7, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. After riding Amtrak and receiving several requests to take overly large pieces of luggage down from the overhead rack for various woman- "New rule: If you can't carry it off, it's not a carry-on.' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enforcer84 Posted September 7, 2011 Report Share Posted September 7, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Dude' date=' you really shouldn't microwave your junk. Just sayin'.[/quote'] I wouldn't think so, but the bag of veggies was really cold on my balls. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enforcer84 Posted September 7, 2011 Report Share Posted September 7, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. "This is my new girlfriend. She doesn't know it yet. I will make her love me." Do you think she's in any danger? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teh bunneh Posted September 8, 2011 Report Share Posted September 8, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. On an elevator with a friend. The elevator stops and two people start to get on, but they hesitate when they see us. Curtis: Come on in. We don't bite. Me: Oh yes I do! Guy: (getting on) It's OK. She bites too. Me: All right! Girl: (to her boyfriend) Only when it's you, honey. Me: Disappointment! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BoloOfEarth Posted September 8, 2011 Report Share Posted September 8, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Teh bunneh's story reminded me of Alfred Hitchcock's elevator story. It also reminded me of something I read in a Fletch book. (Had to go get it to get the full quote) "Moxie's an actor," Fletch said, "whether she wants to be or not. She gets into an elevator and uses everybody else standing there as a captive audience. Once, in a crowded elevator she turned to me and said, Really, Jake, it hain't fair I got pregnant, when you said I wouldn't -- you bein' my brother and all. What you go sayin' it wasn't possible for, when it was, alla time? You heard what the doctor just said -- don't make no difference you bein' my brother. You tol' me a tootin' lie, Hank." Laughing, Audrey said, "What did you do, Fletch?" "Well, the temperature in the elevator went up to about one-hundred-and-thirty degrees fahrenheit. Every one was glowering at me. I wasn't sure I was going to get out of there alive." "What did you do?" Audrey asked. "I said, Can't be sure it was me, Stella. Might ha' been Paw." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucius Posted September 11, 2011 Author Report Share Posted September 11, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Greywind - Superman made aliens acceptable. We're still working on the human race. Lucius Alexander Acceptable palindromedary Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nevelon Posted September 11, 2011 Report Share Posted September 11, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. When shopping at Home Despot: "My wife is an architect, She wears the home-improvement pants in the family." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Celt Posted September 12, 2011 Report Share Posted September 12, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Ed, A friend of ours, re-arranged our home entertainment electronics recently. Me: "Ah, there's a fatal flaw here. The TV is plugged into the outlet directly instead of the master power squid, so it will still draw vampire electricity." Housemate: "It's an error, but I wouldn't call it a fatal flaw." Me: "It is if we kill him for it." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted September 12, 2011 Report Share Posted September 12, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. "The NSF Operating Plan for FY2011 has been approved by Congress and is in the process of being executed." Lead sentence in the article titled "News from NSF Division of Astronomical Sciences", in this month's American Astronomical Society's monthly newsletter. The article does not state whether the execution is by hanging, firing squad, lethal injection, or some other means. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BoloOfEarth Posted September 12, 2011 Report Share Posted September 12, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. "The NSF Operating Plan for FY2011 has been approved by Congress and is in the process of being executed." I found this doubly amusing, having worked at a bank for a long time. Whenever I see "NSF", my first thought is "Non-Sufficient Funds." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Narf the Mouse Posted September 12, 2011 Report Share Posted September 12, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. I found this doubly amusing' date=' having worked at a bank for a long time. Whenever I see "NSF", my first thought is "Non-Sufficient Funds."[/quote'] ...And your reasons why it isn't, this time? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BoloOfEarth Posted September 12, 2011 Report Share Posted September 12, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. ...And your reasons why it isn't' date=' this time?[/quote'] I never said it didn't apply here, now, did I? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Celt Posted September 13, 2011 Report Share Posted September 13, 2011 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Yesterday while punching through stations to find something that wasn't maudlin about 9/11. "Gorramit, where's the rock and roll? That's how we should treat 9/11. *sings* I wanna RAAAWK! *random tongue wagging gibberish while waving devil horn hands* Show us your t**s! That'll p*** them off, you bet. T**s or GTFO! The Great Satan is my b****!" I'm expecting my fatwah any time now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.