BoloOfEarth Posted January 7, 2010 Report Share Posted January 7, 2010 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Even better that I don't know the context to what I overheard: Coworker 1: Lift your leg over your head... Coworker 2: Dude, I can barely lift my *hand* over my head. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Houston GM Posted January 20, 2010 Report Share Posted January 20, 2010 When spin doctoring fails... Posted on a blog: Mr. Awesome had been planning (for a few days) to break up with his girlfriend. Therefore, he was not particularly upset when he found her in bed with another man (a stranger), getting it from behind. girlfriend: (spotting Mr. Awesome) "It was an accident !!" Mr. Awesome: "What, like you tripped and he fell?" girlfriend: (speechless) stranger: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkdguy Posted January 21, 2010 Report Share Posted January 21, 2010 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Coworker: If I get any more broke, I'll have to start drinking antifreeze! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enforcer84 Posted January 22, 2010 Report Share Posted January 22, 2010 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. My head is like a survival horror film; the hair that remains thinks it's next and is freaking the hell out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xavier Onassiss Posted January 22, 2010 Report Share Posted January 22, 2010 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. From our weekly trivia competition on Tuesday evening. The discussions can get pretty weird.... Scooter: "You've never heard of Chippendale cabinets?" Me: "Well, yeah, but I thought they were made by male dancers." Scooter: "Look, I do not wanna know what goes on in your brain, okay?" Me: "Hey, I don't know about these things...for years, I thought 'Art Deco' was a game show host!" Susano: stares across table, pantomimes stabbing motion with table knife Me: shrug "It's not my fault. I'm an inferior decorator." Later that same evening: the subject was advertising slogans, one of which turned out to be "Let the Dance Begin." No one on our team knew that, apparently because none of us need Viagra. We noticed several other ads would also make good copy for Viagra: Mazda: Zoom, Zoom! Coca-Cola: The pause that refreshes. And the #1 slogan for another product which should have been used for Viagra is... Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman! (originally from Secret anti-perspirant) Don't look at me, Xavier Onassiss Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IndianaJoe3 Posted January 22, 2010 Report Share Posted January 22, 2010 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. And the #1 slogan for another product which should have been used for Viagra is... Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman! (originally from Secret anti-perspirant) I can think of some better ones. The quicker pecker upper HARDON! Apply directly to the johnson! HARDON! Apply directly to the johnson! Burrito Boy 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucius Posted January 26, 2010 Author Report Share Posted January 26, 2010 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. I don't think I've shared this one yet "I'm sorry I make your life so complicated..." "That's okay, that's what women do." Lucius Alexander What do palindromedaries do? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enforcer84 Posted January 26, 2010 Report Share Posted January 26, 2010 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. I can think of some better ones. The quicker pecker upper HARDON! Apply directly to the johnson! HARDON! Apply directly to the johnson! Those are good but they had to be altered Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xavier Onassiss Posted January 26, 2010 Report Share Posted January 26, 2010 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Explaining my screwed-up life: "It's like this: Good judgement comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgement. That makes me just about the most experienced son of a b**** who ever lived!" Don't look at me, Xavier Onassiss Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted January 29, 2010 Report Share Posted January 29, 2010 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. "What better way to spend your birthday than visiting magical destruction and edged-weapon mayhem on random nonhuman monsters?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
L. Marcus Posted January 29, 2010 Report Share Posted January 29, 2010 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Two-year-old nephew studies his mom eating lunch, comments: "Mom got pretty teeths. Reeeal big, like a horse. But wow, your mouth's real small!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted January 31, 2010 Report Share Posted January 31, 2010 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. "And at 5 minutes after twelve on Sunday afternoon, I had to reach for the whiskey bottle." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enforcer84 Posted January 31, 2010 Report Share Posted January 31, 2010 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. "A lot of groups are judged by their nuts." "Have you seen his head? Yeah, a tiny penis is the least of his problems - but it's still one of them" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
matrix3 Posted February 1, 2010 Report Share Posted February 1, 2010 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. "She's so Canadian, even her blood cells are red and white." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drhoz Posted February 3, 2010 Report Share Posted February 3, 2010 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Overheard from one of the other gaming groups at the Guild: *browsing the bookshelves* The Amplified Bible? What the hell is an Amplified Bible? The Bible as read by Brian Blessed. IN THE BEGINNING, GOD CREATED THE HEAVEN AND THE EARTH... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SSgt Baloo Posted February 3, 2010 Report Share Posted February 3, 2010 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. The Bible as read by Brian Blessed. IN THE BEGINNING, GOD CREATED THE HEAVEN AND THE EARTH... [/indent] Does anyone else remember that same bit with Garret Morris at the end of SNL's Weekend Update? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SatinKitty Posted February 3, 2010 Report Share Posted February 3, 2010 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. (In reference to my Husband) "At least you're hugging, not slugging him !" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enforcer84 Posted February 3, 2010 Report Share Posted February 3, 2010 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Does anyone else remember that same bit with Garret Morris at the end of SNL's Weekend Update? Generalisimo Franco is still dead! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shadow Hawk Posted February 3, 2010 Report Share Posted February 3, 2010 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Does anyone else remember that same bit with Garret Morris at the end of SNL's Weekend Update? Where he provided news for the deaf by repeating the headlines at the top of his voice? Never heard of it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DocMan Posted February 4, 2010 Report Share Posted February 4, 2010 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Generalisimo Franco is still dead! But we're working on it! More voltage, Igor! Muahhahhhahha! Doc Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lemming Posted February 6, 2010 Report Share Posted February 6, 2010 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. A friend of mine buying diapers: "I like this brand better because it's easier to cut a hole for her tail". This lady nearby looked up abruptly, turned toward us and then made a hasty retreat in the other direction! (Friend had an incontinent cat that wore diapers) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SSgt Baloo Posted February 6, 2010 Report Share Posted February 6, 2010 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. A friend of mine buying diapers: "I like this brand better because it's easier to cut a hole for her tail". This lady nearby looked up abruptly, turned toward us and then made a hasty retreat in the other direction! (Friend had an incontinent cat that wore diapers) "You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to lemming again." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkdguy Posted February 7, 2010 Report Share Posted February 7, 2010 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. "I wish I had a glass of water." "Why, are you thirsty?" "No, I want to see if my neck leaks." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Celt Posted February 8, 2010 Report Share Posted February 8, 2010 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. Superbowl comments: A Saints players legs slip out from under him on third down, 2 yard line, score needed to catch up. "You are the agony of da feet!" The Colts coach just naturally has a wide-eyed look. "He looks like a deer in the headlights" "No, he looks like a deer in the headlights with a rocket launcher." Surely Manning was merely concentrating on the game but he is looking positively malevolent in some sideline shots. spoken for Manning "I will eat your soul!" Manning gets intercepted for a Saints 78 yards return for a touchdown "Not eating any souls now, are ya?!" Saints win, Manning stalks off-field "Somewhere in Miami a hundred people who won't be missed will have their souls devoured to make up for this loss." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shadow Hawk Posted February 8, 2010 Report Share Posted February 8, 2010 Re: Quote of the Week From My Life. IRT Super Bowl, friend from Louisiana: "Ain'ts No More!" "Suck on that, Archie!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.