Wormhole Posted May 22, 2009 Report Share Posted May 22, 2009 That's right folks, the little idiot is at it again. Morty the Moronic Mugger is in another darkened alley waiting for a mark. He decides to pick on a young woman, a college girl presumably, who looks like she took a wrong turn somewhere. As Morty accosts her... (grab a d6 and roll 'em) Roll and consult below: 1) ...he fails to notice the open manhole a couple of paces in front of him. You hear him screaming "Aaaaahhh!!!" and an audible Splash! as he falls into the sewer! 2) ...she peppersprays him. 3) ...he slips on a bananna peel that fell out of a nearby dumpster. Morty lands painfully on his backside and drops his gun down a storm drain. The girl calls him a dumbass and walks on by, laughing. 4) ...she tasers him. 5) ...the girl introduces the heel of her shoe to a sensitive area of Morty's anatomy. She snorts and walks away as Morty writhes in pain on ground. 6) ...a flowerpot falls on Morty's head from above. He drops his gun, his eyes roll back in his head, and he sprawls on the ground in an undignified position. The girl laughs at him a walks on by. WWYCD? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fbdaury Posted May 22, 2009 Report Share Posted May 22, 2009 Re: Morty The Mugger Still Can't Catch A Break... That's right folks, the little idiot is at it again. Morty the Moronic Mugger is in another darkened alley waiting for a mark. He decides to pick on a young woman, a college girl presumably, who looks like she took a wrong turn somewhere. As Morty accosts her... (grab a d6 and roll 'em) Roll and consult below: 1) ...he fails to notice the open manhole a couple of paces in front of him. You hear him screaming "Aaaaahhh!!!" and an audible Splash! as he falls into the sewer! 2) ...she peppersprays him. 3) ...he slips on a bananna peel that fell out of a nearby dumpster. Morty lands painfully on his backside and drops his gun down a storm drain. The girl calls him a dumbass and walks on by, laughing. 4) ...she tasers him. 5) ...the girl introduces the heel of her shoe to a sensitive area of Morty's anatomy. She snorts and walks away as Morty writhes in pain on ground. 6) ...a flowerpot falls on Morty's head from above. He drops his gun, his eyes roll back in his head, and he sprawls on the ground in an undignified position. The girl laughs at him a walks on by. WWYCD? Laugh and then walk away- no crime was actually commited. Except for being Morty and that is also his punishment Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cygnia Posted May 22, 2009 Report Share Posted May 22, 2009 Re: Morty The Mugger Still Can't Catch A Break... Well, technically, it's attempted robbery. Bite back a sigh/laugh and cart him off to jail anyway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zed-F Posted May 22, 2009 Report Share Posted May 22, 2009 Re: Morty The Mugger Still Can't Catch A Break... Soulbarb suggests to Morty that he should perhaps consider another line of work. Her mere appearance causes Morty to promptly soil himself. Sighing to herself, she takes a moment to quickly peer at Morty's soul to make sure he's not under some sort of compulsion to act this way when he's so obviously unsuited for it. Assuming he's an entirely normal (if incompetent) mugger, she'll find the nearest cops and let them take him in. Attempted assault is still a crime. Sylph, being more sympathetic, will stop to make sure Morty isn't seriously injured, e.g. as with a fall down a manhole. She will probably give him a short lecture about abandoning a life of crime and then let him go. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hfergus Posted May 22, 2009 Report Share Posted May 22, 2009 Re: Morty The Mugger Still Can't Catch A Break... Every response applies for any die roll. Volt. - Laugh and then help Morty. Have a talk with him and see if he is likely to do this again. If he is not sure Morty will quit, turn him into the police. If Morty was doing this under compulsion or desperation, he'd help him. Olorin - Laugh a lot. He'd laugh a lot longer then Volt, and then pretty much do he same thing as Volt. Trouble is, every so often during a serious discussion (or at the police station) he'd start laughing again. Black Tiger - Laugh. Then take the guy in, chuckling under his breath. He'd probably regale the cops with the story. He might even tell Morty that he made his day. Futurian - Definately rofl. Literally. It would take a while for him to stop. Then while wiping tears of laughter away "Whooo! Man, you are not cut out for this. Don't try this again. I think you've been punished enough this time, but do it again and I will take you in." Then walk away laughing and shaking his head. Leadman - Laugh and then get serious. Take the guy in, talking to him on the way. May help him out if it seems appropriate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marcus Impudite Posted May 22, 2009 Report Share Posted May 22, 2009 Re: Morty The Mugger Still Can't Catch A Break... Is this guy related to Wile E. Coyote? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vulcan Posted May 22, 2009 Report Share Posted May 22, 2009 Re: Morty The Mugger Still Can't Catch A Break... ... or does that girl have powers based on the special effect of Luck (with Invisible Power Effect)? At any rate, Morty gets a pass on this one from me. I'll be too busy . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shadow Hawk Posted May 23, 2009 Report Share Posted May 23, 2009 Re: Morty The Mugger Still Can't Catch A Break... Shadow Hawk would shake his head and fly away... Stick would still be laughing at him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SatinKitty Posted May 23, 2009 Report Share Posted May 23, 2009 Re: Morty The Mugger Still Can't Catch A Break... Mindflair would immediately commit him to a mental institution. Probably she'd have a staff member be his Therapist. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Badger Posted May 23, 2009 Report Share Posted May 23, 2009 Re: Morty The Mugger Still Can't Catch A Break... Badger- Nothing. Frosty Bob- ask out the college girl. If applicable she uses the pepperspray or the taser on him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CoreBrute Posted May 23, 2009 Report Share Posted May 23, 2009 Re: Morty The Mugger Still Can't Catch A Break... Zero Core: 1) Looks down the manhole. "You need a hand?" Before using his clowing right hand to reach down and grab him before pulling him out. "Watch out for those. They can put a damper on your day." 2, 4 and 5) Zero Core laughs as he sees the girl take care of him, walks towards him. "You want to go to the police quietly or do you want me to put this on Youtube?" 3) Grabs the dropped gun and crush it in his hand. "Now that wasn't very clever now was it?" Before dragging him to the police station. 5) Make sure he's not dead, then post the video on Youtube, under the title, "Worst thief ever." 5000 views in the first hour my guess. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cutsleeve Posted May 24, 2009 Report Share Posted May 24, 2009 Re: Morty The Mugger Still Can't Catch A Break... Brain Eater Lad: Looks at Morty. "Wow this city really does wonders for the Zombie diet." Walks off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tigereye Posted May 24, 2009 Report Share Posted May 24, 2009 Re: Morty The Mugger Still Can't Catch A Break... Deuce would first look after the girl (natch, as doing so would fit one of his Disadvantages to a tee), then, having done so...Deuce has an International Police License, so he will arrest him on the spot. 1) Help Morty out of the sewer. "Still a little wet behind the ears. Fishing for sewer rats, or are you part of the street crew?" 2) Wait for the pepper spray to subside a bit (that stuff stings even after it gets on your skin), then zip-tie him. "Weren't you ever told that peppers give you gas?" 3) Arrest him anyway, even though the girl seems nonplussed. "What you get for trying to pick up girls in a dark alleyway." 4) Oh, too obvious, and a chance to use a line straight from the movies. Look at the girl with a smile on my face. "Fine shot." Then to Morty: "Shocking ... Positively shocking." 5) Compliment the girl on the fine use of her legs. "Beautiful." Then, to the writhing Morty. "You know, the Vienna Choir could always use a good male soprano. It'd give you a chance to make a man of yourself. Well, more of one than you are right now, anyway." 6) Drag him away from reach of the pistol. "That's not the right type of flower for introducing yourself to a young lady. And a gun is not the right kind of gift for a first date, either." Arrest him on charges on attempted assault, and on aggravated robbery. Then look after his injuries. Call the normal municipal police with his cell phone, asking the girl to stay around to give a statement. Then have a good laugh with the coppers. Check to make sure Morty wasn't part of a gang or something more sinister. He'll ask the girl if she'd like a cup of coffee afterward, if he's in his civilian guise, and caution her to be a bit more cautious next time. "Dark alleys attract muggers like pollen attracts bees." Casey would definitely be the ultimate end to the robber's bad break. If still conscious, the unmanned 2,600-pound gold car would push him into a corner. In a universe with superheroes, a sentient car would be unusual but not totally impossible. If the girl would not be freaked out by a talking car, Casey would ask her to push him into his back seat, and ask her to get into the front passenger seat. Then he would drive (or if necessary, fly) the two of them to the police as expeditiously as possible for arrest and a statement. He'd drive over the gun, or have the girl tell the police where it was. His Eidetic Memory would also be a great help. In a world without superpowered individuals, he'd wait for the girl to call the police herself. If she didn't, the anthropomorphised Chevrolet Corvair would terrify the mug until the poor guy would turn himself in for protection from "Christine". The cops would take the dope in. Drugs making him paranoid, no doubt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marcus Impudite Posted May 25, 2009 Report Share Posted May 25, 2009 Re: Morty The Mugger Still Can't Catch A Break... You know, regarding #1, did Morty fall into the storm sewer or the sanitary sewer? If the later.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jkwleisemann Posted May 26, 2009 Report Share Posted May 26, 2009 Re: Morty The Mugger Still Can't Catch A Break... Void: *sigh and move along* Scarface: *shoot out Morty's kneecaps when he staggers into the attic after falling into the sewers* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alibear Posted May 28, 2009 Report Share Posted May 28, 2009 Re: Morty The Mugger Still Can't Catch A Break... The Cat would go an talk to the chick. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drhoz Posted June 1, 2009 Report Share Posted June 1, 2009 Re: Morty The Mugger Still Can't Catch A Break... That's right folks, the little idiot is at it again. Morty the Moronic Mugger is in another darkened alley waiting for a mark. He decides to pick on a young woman, a college girl presumably, who looks like she took a wrong turn somewhere. As Morty accosts her... (grab a d6 and roll 'em) Roll and consult below: 2) ...she peppersprays him. Zero would probably film it and submit it to FailBlog, before carting him off for psychiatric assessment as a threat to himself. Vitus would sigh, sit on a nearby bench until Morty stopped squealing and wriggling, pick him up by his collar, slap him around a few times, and say "What is wrong with you - you're an embarrassment to your profession - on Aura the Favoured of Tyche would probably have you killed for being an insult to the Goddess of Thieves. Were you droppd on your head repeatedly as a child, or did you fall out of the Stupid Tree and hit every branch on the way down? There are children in some of your cities that are better armed robbers than you - go take some lessons from them. That way killing you won't be a complete waste of my time." Then dump him at the nearest cop shop. "Morty again. I'm starting to think he enjoys this." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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