lemming Posted October 10, 2008 Report Share Posted October 10, 2008 Tips For example: Never invoke anything bigger than your head. Pastel colored candles in the shape of cute animals are like direct sunlight to the Powers of Darkness. For those situations where a fresh, living, sacrifice is not available, The lower ranks of demons can be fooled by microwaving a previously frozen Chunk of ex-victim and cleverly jiggling it. However, a mock victim sculpted from Spam is unacceptable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AmadanNaBriona Posted October 10, 2008 Report Share Posted October 10, 2008 Re: Tips for Evil Cult Members Cool find Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bubba smith Posted October 10, 2008 Report Share Posted October 10, 2008 Re: Tips for Evil Cult Members if you can't find a virgin sacrifice draining the powers of a superbeing wil do fine Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yamamura Posted October 15, 2008 Report Share Posted October 15, 2008 Re: Tips for Evil Cult Members if you can't find a virgin sacrifice draining the powers of a superbeing wil do fine Thanks I need that! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bubba smith Posted October 16, 2008 Report Share Posted October 16, 2008 Re: Tips for Evil Cult Members you're welcome yamamura Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ian Mackinder Posted October 16, 2008 Report Share Posted October 16, 2008 Re: Tips for Evil Cult Members Pay this one .... # Instead of picking human victims who are young, virginal and innocent (and tend to turn out to be the Hero's girlfriend), see if you can substitute mass murderers, lawyers, and other people who won't be missed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bubba smith Posted October 16, 2008 Report Share Posted October 16, 2008 Re: Tips for Evil Cult Members Pay this one .... # Instead of picking human victims who are young, virginal and innocent (and tend to turn out to be the Hero's girlfriend), see if you can substitute mass murderers, lawyers, and other people who won't be missed. works for me Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mirage Posted October 17, 2008 Report Share Posted October 17, 2008 Re: Tips for Evil Cult Members Pay this one .... # Instead of picking human victims who are young, virginal and innocent (and tend to turn out to be the Hero's girlfriend), see if you can substitute mass murderers, lawyers, and other people who won't be missed. Wouldn't that move them out of the realm of "Evil Cult" and into the "Masked Vigilante" arena? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lawnmower Boy Posted October 17, 2008 Report Share Posted October 17, 2008 Re: Tips for Evil Cult Members Pay this one .... # Instead of picking human victims who are young, virginal and innocent (and tend to turn out to be the Hero's girlfriend), see if you can substitute mass murderers, lawyers, and other people who won't be missed. Speaking for the Guild of Evil Dieities: No. That ain't gonna do it. You want to loosen up the rules of your religion just because they're inconvenient to your lifestyle? We've got Episcopalianism for you already. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigbywolfe Posted October 18, 2008 Report Share Posted October 18, 2008 Re: Tips for Evil Cult Members Speaking for the Guild of Evil Dieities: No. That ain't gonna do it. You want to loosen up the rules of your religion just because they're inconvenient to your lifestyle? We've got Episcopalianism for you already. Wow, glad I work alone at night so no one was around to hear me crack up laughing... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mattingly Posted October 22, 2008 Report Share Posted October 22, 2008 Re: Tips for Evil Cult Members I generally tip Evil Cult Members 20%, just to be safe. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shadowcat1313 Posted October 22, 2008 Report Share Posted October 22, 2008 Re: Tips for Evil Cult Members heres a couple more I came up with: with nods to Murray Porrath who wrote the "I am not a Pagan Polka" If you think Covens are places where Catholic girls make amends, your in the wrong place. If you think Pentagrams are messages that Western Union sends, your in the wrong place. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Major Tom Posted October 25, 2008 Report Share Posted October 25, 2008 Re: Tips for Evil Cult Members When about to conduct a virgin sacrifice to your Demonic Overlord/Unknowable Horror From Beyond The Cosmos/Whatever, make real sure that the sacrifice-to-be actually is a virgin to start with. Nothing ticks off the Dark Powers quicker than a sacrifice that's already got more than a few miles on it. Major Tom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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