Cancer Posted September 22, 2015 Report Share Posted September 22, 2015 A - She's my hero. Q: What's this thing you have for the girl at the sandwich shack? A: Whole wheat, guacamole, and kippered herring is just too kinky. Pariah 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted September 23, 2015 Report Share Posted September 23, 2015 A: Whole wheat, guacamole, and kippered herring is just too kinky. Q: You're not going to eat that sandwich in bed? Or at all? A: O'er the land of the free, and the home of PLAY BALL! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted September 23, 2015 Report Share Posted September 23, 2015 A: O'er the land of the free, and the home of PLAY BALL! Q - Is it possible that you some words out of that sentence? A - At this point, the only thing we can really do is ride the dragon and see where it takes us. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted September 23, 2015 Report Share Posted September 23, 2015 A - At this point, the only thing we can really do is ride the dragon and see where it takes us. Q: Uhh ... what do we do now, Boss? A: If you have to ask, you can't afford it. Pariah 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted September 23, 2015 Report Share Posted September 23, 2015 A: If you have to ask, you can't afford it. Q: I just arrived at the L-5 colony. What's the going rate for oxygen and water? A: I'm going to have to science the [bleep] out of this. Pariah 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted September 23, 2015 Report Share Posted September 23, 2015 Q: I just arrived at the L-5 colony. What's the going rate for oxygen and water? A: I'm going to have to science the [bleep] out of this. Q: Who invited the Doctor to the party? A: Made from 100% Death Weave. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted September 24, 2015 Report Share Posted September 24, 2015 A: Made from 100% Death Weave. Q: This new brand of jet-black jeans seems to turn up on a lot of emo kids who commit suicide. Any idea why? A: Were it not for all the random homicides that took place over the course of the evening, I'd say our first date went well. I just hope her ex doesn't find out -- I hear he'd go mad with jealousy. Well, madder at any rate.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted September 24, 2015 Report Share Posted September 24, 2015 A: Were it not for all the random homicides that took place over the course of the evening, I'd say our first date went well. I just hope her ex doesn't find out -- I hear he'd go mad with jealousy. Well, madder at any rate.... Q - Foxbat, are you seriously dating Harley Quinn now?! A - Well, it's certainly not the dumbest thing I've ever seen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted September 25, 2015 Report Share Posted September 25, 2015 A - Well, it's certainly not the dumbest thing I've ever seen. Q: The Oracular Stone on whom we depend for the Word of the Gods hasn't spoken in four hundred and seventy-eight years? A: You call them traffic laws, I call them traffic suggestions -- and usually bad ones. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted September 25, 2015 Report Share Posted September 25, 2015 A: You call them traffic laws, I call them traffic suggestions -- and usually bad ones. Q - How in the world did you end up with ninety-three traffic tickets? A - Things we are breaking. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted September 26, 2015 Report Share Posted September 26, 2015 A - Things we are breaking. Q: How does the JLA refer to the Laws of Physics? A: When life gives you lemons, give them back. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted September 30, 2015 Report Share Posted September 30, 2015 A: When life gives you lemons, give them back. Q - What do you mean, you don't like lemonade? Who doesn't like lemonade?! A - The hills are alive . . . but not for long. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted September 30, 2015 Report Share Posted September 30, 2015 A - The hills are alive . . . but not for long.Q: So, Jason, you got the maks on and you got the big knife out ... have you geeked Old Lady Hill, her excessively hot daughter, and their 35 s**t-for-brains toy poodles yet? A: The first thing you notice upon your arrival in Hell is how many poodles there are. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted September 30, 2015 Report Share Posted September 30, 2015 A: The first thing you notice upon your arrival in Hell is how many poodles there are. Q - What the hell is with all that infernal yapping?! A - I'm sorry, there are simply not enough linguine noodles in the universe for that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted September 30, 2015 Report Share Posted September 30, 2015 A - I'm sorry, there are simply not enough linguine noodles in the universe for that. Q: Why can't we wipe those disgusting Clam Monsters from Betelguse IV off the face of the Cosmos? A: Oh say, can you see my eyes? If you can, then my hair's too short! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted October 1, 2015 Report Share Posted October 1, 2015 A: Oh say, can you see my eyes? If you can, then my hair's too short! Q - What's one of the big problems with being an Old English sheepdog? A - I'm not certain why that even exists, but in this one specific case, I'm glad it does. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted October 3, 2015 Report Share Posted October 3, 2015 A - I'm not certain why that even exists, but in this one specific case, I'm glad it does. Q: We found a source of fresh water on the Moon! A: The hills are alive, and it looks like Scotsmen! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marcus Impudite Posted October 3, 2015 Report Share Posted October 3, 2015 Q: We found a souve of fresh water on the Moon! A: The hills are alive, and it looks like Scotsmen! Q: Why is that entire flock of sheep running away in terror? (JK) A: And the jailer man, and Sailor Sam were searching everyone... Michael Hopcroft 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted October 6, 2015 Report Share Posted October 6, 2015 A: And the jailer man, and Sailor Sam were searching everyone... Q: Why is everyone in the village walking funny? A: She's getting to be really annoying. Let's throw her to the zombies and get it over with! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted October 6, 2015 Report Share Posted October 6, 2015 A: She's getting to be really annoying. Let's throw her to the zombies and get it over with! Q: Hey Boss, that Grammar Nazi lady is back, frothing at the mouth about comma splices and pronoun-antecedent disagreements. She must have escaped from being locked in the room with the football players. What do we do now? A: She must have a window in her butt, because she was complaining about a pane in her a**. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted October 8, 2015 Report Share Posted October 8, 2015 A: She must have a window in her butt, because she was complaining about a pane in her a**. Q: It's bad enought that you're failing Anatomy 101, but do you really have to spend so much time mouthing off at the teacher? A: The amendment says "cruel and unusual punushment", not "cruel or unusual punishment". So it we do it to everybody, it's OK! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marcus Impudite Posted October 11, 2015 Report Share Posted October 11, 2015 Q: It's bad enought that you're failing Anatomy 101, but do you really have to spend so much time mouthing off at the teacher? A: The amendment says "cruel and unusual punushment", not "cruel or unusual punishment". So it we do it to everybody, it's OK! Q: What's it say in the first chapter of the NSA's new interrogation manual? A: This could only be an evil plot of Satin and his rouge angles. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkdguy Posted October 11, 2015 Report Share Posted October 11, 2015 Q: What's it say in the first chapter of the NSA's new interrogation manual? A: This could only be an evil plot of Satin and his rouge angles. Q: Why is there so much resentment against Dog? A: Because the world is full of special snowflakes who take offense at anything. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted October 12, 2015 Report Share Posted October 12, 2015 A: Because the world is full of special snowflakes who take offense at anything. Q: Why does nobody believe that we need winter to end or we can't grow food? A: The summer birds won't get back without guidance from pegasi! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted October 22, 2015 Report Share Posted October 22, 2015 Q: Why does nobody believe that we need winter to end or we can't grow food? A: The summer birds won't get back without guidance from pegasi! Q: Why have all the birds travelled towards Greece? A: The planet is inside out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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