Pariah Posted September 18, 2021 Report Share Posted September 18, 2021 28 minutes ago, unclevlad said: A: You can't handle the truth!!! Q: Do you really call your .50 caliber Desert Eagle pistol "The Truth"? A: It blew him right out of the world! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unclevlad Posted September 18, 2021 Report Share Posted September 18, 2021 8 minutes ago, Pariah said: Q: Do you really call your .50 caliber Desert Eagle pistol "The Truth"? A: It blew him right out of the world! Q: Wasn't the professor investigating the solar wind? A: Water, water everywhere but not a drop to drink. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted September 18, 2021 Report Share Posted September 18, 2021 1 hour ago, unclevlad said: A: Water, water everywhere but not a drop to drink. Q: What did the shipwrecked alien say when he was stranded on a desert island Earth? A: Nobody doubts your genius, but your connection to objective reality is another matter. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unclevlad Posted September 18, 2021 Report Share Posted September 18, 2021 1 hour ago, Michael Hopcroft said: A: Nobody doubts your genius, but your connection to objective reality is another matter. Q: Why *can't* I wear white after Labor Day???? A: The birds and the bees, the flowers and the trees. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted September 18, 2021 Report Share Posted September 18, 2021 40 minutes ago, unclevlad said: A: The birds and the bees, the flowers and the trees. Q: You're my doctor. Can you tell me what I'm allergic to? A: If I can't enjoy ice cream anymore, nobody else can! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unclevlad Posted September 18, 2021 Report Share Posted September 18, 2021 15 minutes ago, Michael Hopcroft said: A: If I can't enjoy ice cream anymore, nobody else can! Q: What is this....tapioca pudding???????? A: To die...to sleep, perchance to dream... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted September 18, 2021 Report Share Posted September 18, 2021 10 hours ago, unclevlad said: Q: What is this....tapioca pudding???????? A: To die...to sleep, perchance to dream... Q: What is the greatest opportunity for a life unlived? A: We know your destination, and this isn't it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted September 18, 2021 Report Share Posted September 18, 2021 1 hour ago, Asperion said: A: We know your destination, and this isn't it. Q: Come on, Saint Peter, at least I wasn't as bad as Hitler. A: And because of your petty and largely incompetent and harmless evil, you are hereby darned to Heck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted September 18, 2021 Report Share Posted September 18, 2021 1 hour ago, Pariah said: A: And because of your petty and largely incompetent and harmless evil, you are hereby darned to Heck! Q: What sort of afterlife awaits Doctor Heinz Doofenschmirtz? A: Yep. He even has his own Evil Jingle on his voicemail greeting! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted September 20, 2021 Report Share Posted September 20, 2021 On 9/18/2021 at 12:29 PM, Michael Hopcroft said: Q: What sort of afterlife awaits Doctor Heinz Doofenschmirtz? A: Yep. He even has his own Evil Jingle on his voicemail greeting! Q: What was the purpose for your reaction after calling Trump? A: I am just working the dough. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted September 21, 2021 Report Share Posted September 21, 2021 12 hours ago, Asperion said: A: I am just working the dough. Q: You look pretty glum for the most successful counterfeiter in the world. Arewn't you pleased with your own cleverness? A: My money is so good that people have stopped taking the government's! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted September 21, 2021 Report Share Posted September 21, 2021 33 minutes ago, Michael Hopcroft said: A: My money is so good that people have stopped taking the government's! Q: How's that pornographic $3 bill of yours doing? A: It's pretty slick, too! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted September 21, 2021 Report Share Posted September 21, 2021 10 hours ago, Cancer said: A: It's pretty slick, too! Q: Why don't you want me to go out on the freeway? It's only a blizzard! A: I set things on fire to express my spirituality! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted September 22, 2021 Report Share Posted September 22, 2021 On 9/21/2021 at 8:54 AM, Michael Hopcroft said: Q: Why don't you want me to go out on the freeway? It's only a blizzard! A: I set things on fire to express my spirituality! Q: Why are you attempting to get a deduction for pyromancia? A: This mosquito has some rather unique properties. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted September 22, 2021 Report Share Posted September 22, 2021 2 hours ago, Asperion said: A: This mosquito has some rather unique properties. Q: Fat-sucking parasites? You can't be serious. A: I don't understand it, but I like it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted September 24, 2021 Report Share Posted September 24, 2021 On 9/22/2021 at 10:47 AM, Pariah said: A: I don't understand it, but I like it! Q: First time seeing the Metropolitan Opera? Whay did you think? A: We know her as the Crazy Dragon Lady. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted September 27, 2021 Report Share Posted September 27, 2021 On 9/24/2021 at 9:30 AM, Michael Hopcroft said: Q: First time seeing the Metropolitan Opera? Whay did you think? A: We know her as the Crazy Dragon Lady. Q: Just because she breathes fire and flies, is that any reason to give her a fancy name? A: He may not kill you, but he can take you off your feet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkdguy Posted September 27, 2021 Report Share Posted September 27, 2021 4 hours ago, Asperion said: Q: Just because she breathes fire and flies, is that any reason to give her a fancy name? A: He may not kill you, but he can take you off your feet. Q: Is that guy a Judo master? A: That's one wicked-looking katana! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted September 30, 2021 Report Share Posted September 30, 2021 On 9/27/2021 at 2:04 PM, tkdguy said: Q: Is that guy a Judo master? A: That's one wicked-looking katana! Q: Wolverine, what are those things that you are tickling me with? A: You are now in the flat-sided universe. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted October 3, 2021 Report Share Posted October 3, 2021 On 9/30/2021 at 7:05 AM, Asperion said: A: You are now in the flat-sided universe. Q: Three dimensions? Are you kidding? Everybody knows there are only two, right? A: Me, I've got a different problem. I live in a world of Tupperware. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted October 6, 2021 Report Share Posted October 6, 2021 On 10/3/2021 at 1:53 AM, Michael Hopcroft said: Q: Three dimensions? Are you kidding? Everybody knows there are only two, right? A: Me, I've got a different problem. I live in a world of Tupperware. Q: Why do you take three steps then bounce back five? A: Walking along a knife's edge. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted October 6, 2021 Report Share Posted October 6, 2021 2 hours ago, Asperion said: A: Walking along a knife's edge. Q: What did you do to your feet to make them all slashed and bloody like that? A: If you were the coach of the Jacksonville Jaguars, you'd do that too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted October 7, 2021 Report Share Posted October 7, 2021 21 hours ago, Michael Hopcroft said: A: If you were the coach of the Jacksonville Jaguars, you'd do that too. Q: I wasn't aware that it was even possible to buy whiskey by the cubic meter! A: Vibranium underpants. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted October 7, 2021 Report Share Posted October 7, 2021 58 minutes ago, Pariah said: Q: I wasn't aware that it was even possible to buy whiskey by the cubic meter! A: Vibranium underpants. Q: Why did everything go very quiet the instant that he appeared? A: This is the Keyboard that drives your life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted October 7, 2021 Report Share Posted October 7, 2021 2 hours ago, Asperion said: A: This is the Keyboard that drives your life. Q: Now that you Six Characters are close to finding what you're looking for, what is this piece of memorabilia worth? A: We are all just things in the Red King's dream, and when he wakes up we're done for! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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