Michael Hopcroft Posted October 30, 2017 Report Share Posted October 30, 2017 A: Here's a prescription. Take it to an orthopedist and see if he can get you a spine. Q: How can I be having so much pain in my back? Don't you know I'm Cthulhu? A: The Universe was created for the sole purpose of bringing me into existence, and will cease to exist the moment I die! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted October 30, 2017 Report Share Posted October 30, 2017 A: The Universe was created for the sole purpose of bringing me into existence, and will cease to exist the moment I die! Q: Who do you think you are, Zaphod Beeblebrox? A: You always say the answer is "More gasoline!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted October 30, 2017 Report Share Posted October 30, 2017 Oops. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted October 30, 2017 Report Share Posted October 30, 2017 A: You always say the answer is "More gasoline!" Q: How did you get such high marks in Arson 201 at Mafia U? A: Where I come from, we call that "bait". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted October 30, 2017 Report Share Posted October 30, 2017 A: Where I come from, we call that "bait". Q: Holy cow, she's cute! She's got to be 18, right? A: Fifteen may get you twenty. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted October 30, 2017 Report Share Posted October 30, 2017 A: Fifteen may get you twenty. Q: Ten, twelve -- why should you care how many banks I rob? A: As your attorney, I really need to not be having this conversation right now. Let's talk about kittens and puppies instead. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted October 30, 2017 Report Share Posted October 30, 2017 A: As your attorney, I really need to not be having this conversation right now. Let's talk about kittens and puppies instead. Q: So, did you find the $250,000 in small bills in my ex-mother-in-law's basement like I told you? A: I'm a nightmare, dressed like a daydream. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted October 31, 2017 Report Share Posted October 31, 2017 A: I'm a nightmare, dressed like a daydream. Q: Are you really going to the Halloween party in that skimpy Sailor Moon outfit? A: You didn't say whose nightmare. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted October 31, 2017 Report Share Posted October 31, 2017 17 hours ago, Cancer said: A: You didn't say whose nightmare. Q: That last Physics exam was a real nightmare, eh? A: No, I don't think that's entirely accurate. For one thing, the dalmatian was in the hammock, not on the couch. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted October 31, 2017 Report Share Posted October 31, 2017 2 hours ago, Pariah said: Q: That last Physics exam was a real nightmare, eh? A: No, I don't think that's entirely accurate. For one thing, the dalmatian was in the hammock, not on the couch. Q: Did you just accuse him of the crime mostly by the belief that the Dalmatian was destroying the couch? A: That gravity is doing a dance on its wave. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted November 1, 2017 Report Share Posted November 1, 2017 2 hours ago, Asperion said: A: That gravity is doing a dance on its wave. Q: What is it that makes you think that the Froces of Speical Relativity likes the Astros? A: OF course God doesn;t play dice with the Universe! He's been playing Pathfinder this whole time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted November 2, 2017 Report Share Posted November 2, 2017 23 hours ago, Michael Hopcroft said: A: OF course God doesn;t play dice with the Universe! He's been playing Pathfinder this whole time. Q: How do you know all these senseless random events are due to the Adversary, as if it was a stacked deck in Civilization? A: The reality check bounced. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted November 2, 2017 Report Share Posted November 2, 2017 13 hours ago, Cancer said: A: The reality check bounced. Q: Care to explain why you're standing on the ceiling with a fishing rod and the line pointing sideways out the window? A: To catch the flying pigs, of course. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted November 2, 2017 Report Share Posted November 2, 2017 1 hour ago, Michael Hopcroft said: A: To catch the flying pigs, of course. Q: Rednecks with harpoons on hovercycles? Why?! A: Smile when you say that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted November 2, 2017 Report Share Posted November 2, 2017 2 hours ago, Pariah said: A: Smile when you say that. Q: Doc Holliday, you're the very worst Dentist in Tombstone, even if you are the only dentist in Tombstone! Look what you did to my teeth! A: Oh, that's just Senpai. He never notices anybody. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted November 2, 2017 Report Share Posted November 2, 2017 1 hour ago, Michael Hopcroft said: A: Oh, that's just Senpai. He never notices anybody. Q: You're sure we can take all this stuff? Who's the guy there with the stick standing guard? A: It's much easier to maintain respectful silence when your jaw is wired shut because it's broken in three places. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted November 6, 2017 Report Share Posted November 6, 2017 On 11/2/2017 at 11:55 AM, Cancer said: A: It's much easier to maintain respectful silence when your jaw is wired shut because it's broken in three places. Q: Why should the opposing coaches care which party I'm registered to vote with? A: In real life, ducks do not spend nearly so much time skiing and yodeling in the mountains. This should be a clue. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted November 8, 2017 Report Share Posted November 8, 2017 On 11/5/2017 at 11:45 PM, Michael Hopcroft said: Q: Why should the opposing coaches care which party I'm registered to vote with? A: In real life, ducks do not spend nearly so much time skiing and yodeling in the mountains. This should be a clue. Q: What makes you so certain that this duck was actually an Irish playing an olean? A: You liquidfied my metal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted November 8, 2017 Report Share Posted November 8, 2017 2 hours ago, Asperion said: A: You liquidfied my metal. Q: Sorry, sometimes my body temperature just spontaneously rises to 1500°C. Are you okay? A: The last thing I saw was all seventeen hills in between crests of the ocean waves. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted November 9, 2017 Report Share Posted November 9, 2017 9 hours ago, Pariah said: A: The last thing I saw was all seventeen hills in between crests of the ocean waves. A: You say you were in Numenor when Ar-Pharazon the Golden led his invasion of Valinor? Q: So you had all your money invested in condo construction in the suburbs of Barad-dur? tkdguy 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted November 10, 2017 Report Share Posted November 10, 2017 On 11/8/2017 at 5:38 PM, Cancer said: Q: So you had all your money invested in condo construction in the suburbs of Barad-dur? Q: Looking for a good practitioner to sort out your Post-Mordor property-management needs? A: You don't want to go to Mount Doom, Mr. Underhill. From what I hear, the skiing is terrible. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted November 12, 2017 Report Share Posted November 12, 2017 On November 9, 2017 at 6:33 PM, Michael Hopcroft said: A: You don't want to go to Mount Doom, Mr. Underhill. From what I hear, the skiing is terrible. Q: So how can I get from Gorki Park to Gorgoroth? A: Just like going from Molongolo to Ngorongoro. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted November 12, 2017 Report Share Posted November 12, 2017 7 hours ago, Cancer said: A: Just like going from Molongolo to Ngorongoro. Q: On what scenic route am I most likely to encounter the Tasmanian Devil? A: I don't care what the rabbit told you or what the deed says, You don't really own this bridge. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted November 13, 2017 Report Share Posted November 13, 2017 21 hours ago, Michael Hopcroft said: A: I don't care what the rabbit told you or what the deed says, You don't really own this bridge. A: The toll is €314.16, payable in gold bullion or Bitcoin. Please have exact change. Q: Nothing a good romp in the sack wouldn't take care of, I'm sure. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucius Posted November 13, 2017 Report Share Posted November 13, 2017 13 minutes ago, Pariah said: A: The toll is €314.16, payable in gold bullion or Bitcoin. Please have exact change. Q: Nothing a good romp in the sack wouldn't take care of, I'm sure. Q: What does she mean when she says she "has a case of the crabs?" A: Don't ask, just run Lucius Alexander A game of palindromedaries Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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