Cancer Posted August 1, 2017 Report Share Posted August 1, 2017 A: That's not the pair I usually ship in this series, but if you think there's a case.... Q: Can we send the Senior Senator from Kentucky with Hannibal Lecter in a 5 by 7 by 10 foot container to Ouagadougou, FOB Port Stanley? A: There is no ferry to Tooth, but you can make the 11:15 sailing of the ferry to Vancouver Island if you hurry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted August 1, 2017 Report Share Posted August 1, 2017 A: There is no ferry to Tooth, but you can make the 11:15 sailing of the ferry to Vancouver Island if you hurry. Q: What is the worst thing you can say to a dentist trying to smuggle himself out of Seattle? A: OK, Poirot, you got me. I guess the puppy-fur slippers gave it away. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted August 1, 2017 Report Share Posted August 1, 2017 A: OK, Poirot, you got me. I guess the puppy-fur slippers gave it away. Q: And what do you have to say for yourself, Ms. DeVil? A: If she doesn't skate you, no evil thing will! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted August 1, 2017 Report Share Posted August 1, 2017 A: If she doesn't skate you, no evil thing will! Q: Why do superstitious rink owners all bar Tonya Harding? A: You must be a Portlander if you're still telling Tonya Harding jokes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted August 2, 2017 Report Share Posted August 2, 2017 A: You must be a Portlander if you're still telling Tonya Harding jokes. Q: Why did Tonya Harding cross the road? A: Don't throw the shaky-ball! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted August 4, 2017 Report Share Posted August 4, 2017 A: Don't throw the shaky-ball! Q: You mean nitroglycerin was put in the baseballs? What do I tell our pitcher? A: And the ship with eight sails and its fifty guns loaded will sail off with me! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted August 4, 2017 Report Share Posted August 4, 2017 A: And the ship with eight sails and its fifty guns loaded will sail off with me! Q: Prince Humperdinck, how do you plan to spend your wedding night? A: Nope, not 'mostly dead'. Just 'dead'. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted August 4, 2017 Report Share Posted August 4, 2017 A: Nope, not 'mostly dead'. Just 'dead'. Q: Surely breathing the air in Mumbai won't make me dead. Just mostly? A: I guess I really do need to bring a toothbrush into the shark tank. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted August 6, 2017 Report Share Posted August 6, 2017 A: I guess I really do need to bring a toothbrush into the shark tank. Q: Welcome to the aquarium! You're our new aquatic dentist, right? A: There's a chart for that. I've seen it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted August 6, 2017 Report Share Posted August 6, 2017 A: There's a chart for that. I've seen it. Q: I'm a brand-new Champions player. I wonder what SPD does? A. I thought using children as begging props was something only the poor do. Pariah 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted August 9, 2017 Report Share Posted August 9, 2017 A. I thought using children as begging props was something only the poor do.Q: Hey, you fell for the cable distributors' fake orphan relief fund sites too, eh? A: Same site as where you register for the free $1000 gift card! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted August 12, 2017 Report Share Posted August 12, 2017 A: Same site as where you register for the free $1000 gift card! Q: Where do I sign up for the Nigerian Lottery. A: That joke isn't funny if you happen to live in Nigeria. In fact, nothing is funny if you happen to live in Nigeria. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted August 12, 2017 Report Share Posted August 12, 2017 A: That joke isn't funny if you happen to live in Nigeria. In fact, nothing is funny if you happen to live in Nigeria. Q: How many lagomorphs are there in Lagos? A: No, he said he liked Procol Harum, not Boko Haram. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted August 12, 2017 Report Share Posted August 12, 2017 A: No, he said he liked Procol Harum, not Boko Haram. Q: Ready! Aim! A: I never expected us to run into the Bozo Harem.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted August 12, 2017 Report Share Posted August 12, 2017 A: I never expected us to run into the Bozo Harem.. Q: Good grief, is that Harley Quinn? A: Looks like it's raining burning brimstone again. Better get the hose ready. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted August 14, 2017 Report Share Posted August 14, 2017 A: Looks like it's raining burning brimstone again. Better get the hose ready. Q: How's things been since the Hellmouth opened? A: Better a bad cartoon than a quality soap opera. Unless it's both at the same time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted August 14, 2017 Report Share Posted August 14, 2017 A: Better a bad cartoon than a quality soap opera. Unless it's both at the same time. Q: You're otherwise the prototypical housewife, so why do you still watch cartoons? A: Yes, I am an eight-foot-long sapient dachshund. Thank you for asking. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted August 14, 2017 Report Share Posted August 14, 2017 A: Yes, I am an eight-foot-long sapient dachshund. Thank you for asking. Q: That's the second biggest wiener I've ever seen! A: I wish I knew the answer to that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted August 14, 2017 Report Share Posted August 14, 2017 A: I wish I knew the answer to that. Q: Why does the porridge bird lay his egg in the air? A: That had to be the third craziest weekend of my life! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted August 15, 2017 Report Share Posted August 15, 2017 A: That had to be the third craziest weekend of my life! Q: Wait, you're the new starting quarterback for the Cleveland Browns?! A: I never thought I'd see that on Star Trek. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted August 15, 2017 Report Share Posted August 15, 2017 A: I never thought I'd see that on Star Trek. Q: Wait, the triumvirate controlling the Cardassians are Curly, Larry, and Moe? A: No, those are Itsy, Bitsy, and Ditzy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted August 15, 2017 Report Share Posted August 15, 2017 A: No, those are Itsy, Bitsy, and Ditzy. Q: Are those Daisy Duck's nieces? A: No, my swimming pool isn't made of gold. Gold is just what I fill it with. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted August 20, 2017 Report Share Posted August 20, 2017 <bumpity bump bump bump> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted August 20, 2017 Report Share Posted August 20, 2017 A: No, my swimming pool isn't made of gold. Gold is just what I fill it with. Q: A solid gold swimming pool? That's a little ostentatious, don't you think? A: That? That's nothing. I do that every day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted August 21, 2017 Report Share Posted August 21, 2017 A: That? That's nothing. I do that every day. Q: You can breathe air! Incredible! A: I'm sorry, we do not have that item tonight. The penguins ate it all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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