Michael Hopcroft Posted June 27, 2017 Report Share Posted June 27, 2017 A: That's not a shotgun. Q: Do you have to make me marry your daughter right now? Is that why you have thaty suspicious bulge in your coat? A: I would have married her anyway regardless. It's just the timing that was off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted July 5, 2017 Report Share Posted July 5, 2017 Q: Do you have to make me marry your daughter right now? Is that why you have thaty suspicious bulge in your coat? A: I would have married her anyway regardless. It's just the timing that was off. Q: Why did your father bring the shotgun to my arranged wedding? A: Orsen Technology - We know what you want. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted July 5, 2017 Report Share Posted July 5, 2017 A: Orsen Technology - We know what you want. Q: Who is going to make a fortune with Telepathic Marketing? A: And if you don't want to give us your credit card numbers, don't worry -- we've already got them! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted July 8, 2017 Report Share Posted July 8, 2017 A: And if you don't want to give us your credit card numbers, don't worry -- we've already got them! Q: Hello, is this the Customer Service department for the NSA? A: Skip a bit! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted July 9, 2017 Report Share Posted July 9, 2017 A: Skip a bit! Q: How do you break a computer? A: Dangit! The neighbor's dog just won't stop baking! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted July 16, 2017 Report Share Posted July 16, 2017 A: Dangit! The neighbor's dog just won't stop baking! Q: Why are you trying to teach your cat to make stir-fry? A: There are two steaks and half a dozen mortar shells in the freezer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted July 16, 2017 Report Share Posted July 16, 2017 A: There are two steaks and half a dozen mortar shells in the freezer. Q: What do you mean, "Take care what you put on the grill?" A: I think you mixed the drinks too strong last night. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted July 16, 2017 Report Share Posted July 16, 2017 A: I think you mixed the drinks too strong last night. Q: Wow, what a hangover! I may never -- say, didn't I have a house last night? A: This cosmic dance of bursting decadence and withheld permissions twists all our arms collectively, but if sweetness can win, and it can, then I'll still be here tomorrow to high-five you yesterday, my friend. Peace. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted July 16, 2017 Report Share Posted July 16, 2017 A: This cosmic dance of bursting decadence and withheld permissions twists all our arms collectively, but if sweetness can win, and it can, then I'll still be here tomorrow to high-five you yesterday, my friend. Peace. Q: You ate all the chocolate chip cookies, didn't you? A: I think I think, therefore I think I am. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted July 16, 2017 Report Share Posted July 16, 2017 A: I think I think, therefore I think I am. Q: What's the difference between philosophy and tautology? A: That's the last time I try to take a redheaded Russian assassin out for drinks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted July 16, 2017 Report Share Posted July 16, 2017 A: That's the last time I try to take a redheaded Russian assassin out for drinks. Q: What is written on James Bond's tombstone? A: That is not when I meant when I asked you to card the guys at Table 7. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted July 16, 2017 Report Share Posted July 16, 2017 A: That is not when I meant when I asked you to card the guys at Table 7. Q: I brushed down everybody at that table like you asked me to. There was no wool on any of 'em. A: Fluorine, radium, potassium! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted July 17, 2017 Report Share Posted July 17, 2017 A: Fluorine, radium, potassium! Q: What the FRaK?!? A: That's a codeword for a severe variety of ethics violations. I'll let you figure out which one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted July 17, 2017 Report Share Posted July 17, 2017 A: That's a codeword for a severe variety of ethics violations. I'll let you figure out which one. Q: What is the latest decree from Corporate at Fox News? A: I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts, and you don't. So there! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted July 17, 2017 Report Share Posted July 17, 2017 A: I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts, and you don't. So there! Q: You brag about the weirdest things, don't you? A: It's not profane in that context. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted July 18, 2017 Report Share Posted July 18, 2017 Q: You brag about the weirdest things, don't you? A: It's not profane in that context. Q: This is an amazing prophylactic display. Why is everyone getting so upset about it? A: I reject your sanity and replace it with my insanity. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted July 18, 2017 Report Share Posted July 18, 2017 A: I reject your sanity and replace it with my insanity. Q: How did the Joker seduce his psychiatrist and turn her into Harley Quinn? A: Stockholm Syndrome: The Motion Picture. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted July 20, 2017 Report Share Posted July 20, 2017 A: Stockholm Syndrome: The Motion Picture. Q: Reality TV now being a staple on the small screen, what's the next wave in movies? A: You realize the operational mode you're carrying out directly contradicts all the official policies. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted July 22, 2017 Report Share Posted July 22, 2017 A: You realize the operational mode you're carrying out directly contradicts all the official policies. Q: Foxbat for President! What could go wrong? A: It's one giant atom, basically. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted July 23, 2017 Report Share Posted July 23, 2017 A: It's one giant atom, basically. Q: Wow, your theories can be really out there, Professor Lansing! What do you think of the universe? A: I'm not stupid, I'm not expendable, and I'm not going. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted July 23, 2017 Report Share Posted July 23, 2017 A: I'm not stupid, I'm not expendable, and I'm not going. Q: We need someone new to cover President Trump's next news conference. You're up! A: That's way too much dog food. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted July 23, 2017 Report Share Posted July 23, 2017 A: That's way too much dog food. Q: "Billions and billions served"? A: OK, we'll but it in the pie. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted July 23, 2017 Report Share Posted July 23, 2017 A: OK, we'll put it in the pie. Q: I seem to have ordered an extra blackbird. Are we going to just let it go to waste? A: I need to use the euphemism. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted July 24, 2017 Report Share Posted July 24, 2017 A: I need to use the euphemism. Q: So what are you gonna say about the ******* **** *** ******* ******? A: When I'm able to get out of this sick ward bed, I'll show you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted July 24, 2017 Report Share Posted July 24, 2017 A: When I'm able to get out of this sick ward bed, I'll show you! Q: I love you, darling, even more after you contracted this dreadful disease. Do you still love me back? A: That's not the pair I usually ship in this series, but if you think there's a case.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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