Michael Hopcroft Posted October 25, 2015 Report Share Posted October 25, 2015 A: The planet is inside out. Q: What makes you think we're living in a Dyson sphere? A: And that's how many licks it takes to get to the creamy chocolate center of the Death Star. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted October 26, 2015 Report Share Posted October 26, 2015 Q: What makes you think we're living in a Dyson sphere? A: And that's how many licks it takes to get to the creamy chocolate center of the Death Star. Q: What did you do with that misplaced proton bomb? A: The counter-clock is busy ticking away. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted October 26, 2015 Report Share Posted October 26, 2015 A: The counter-clock is busy ticking away. Q - Did the hands on that clock just move backwards? A - It's proof that space is not just warped, it's completely bent. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted October 26, 2015 Report Share Posted October 26, 2015 A - It's proof that space is not just warped, it's completely bent. Q: You turned left at Albuquerque and ended up in Alba Patera?!? A: West of French Lick. East of Humptulips. North of Bangladesh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted October 26, 2015 Report Share Posted October 26, 2015 A: West of French Lick. East of Humptulips. North of Bangladesh. Q - So, you finally got a date with the new office girl. You're planning to take her somewhere romantic, I hope? A - Lithium hammer! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted October 26, 2015 Report Share Posted October 26, 2015 A - Lithium hammer! Q: So you need a therapeutic weapon with which to cure the Joker or, failing that, kill him. What did you have in mind? A: The power to travel through time no longer available in Bud Light. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marcus Impudite Posted October 27, 2015 Report Share Posted October 27, 2015 Q: So you need a therapeutic weapon with which to cure the Joker or, failing that, kill him. What did you have in mind? A: The power to travel through time no longer available in Bud Light. Q: Why are you guys attempting to build a Hot Tub Time Machine? A: Roads? Where we're going, we don't need roads... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted October 27, 2015 Report Share Posted October 27, 2015 A: Roads? Where we're going, we don't need roads... Q: You do realize, Doc, that thing isn't street-legal and there's no way they'll let it out on the road? A: I believe in Peace, and banging two bricks together! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted October 29, 2015 Report Share Posted October 29, 2015 Q: You do realize, Doc, that thing isn't street-legal and there's no way they'll let it out on the road? A: I believe in Peace, and banging two bricks together! Q: Did you say that you believe in the army's definition of peace? A: I am taking the road never taken. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted October 30, 2015 Report Share Posted October 30, 2015 A: I am taking the road never taken. Q: You're supposed to turn left at Albuquerque. LEFT! How do you think you're going to get to Pismo Beach that way? A: What I want to know is what a rabbit would want with a cheeseburger. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted October 31, 2015 Report Share Posted October 31, 2015 Q: You're supposed to turn left at Albuquerque. LEFT! How do you think you're going to get to Pismo Beach that way? A: What I want to know is what a rabbit would want with a cheeseburger. Q: Does anyone know of a way that we can get past the Rabbit of Caerbannog? A: I was a respected Watcher and now I am a dwarf with all the power of a doily. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted November 2, 2015 Report Share Posted November 2, 2015 A: I was a respected Watcher and now I am a dwarf with all the power of a doily. Q - How has that latest Marvel reboot been treating you? A - Why yes, I'd be happy to rub that on your back. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted November 11, 2015 Report Share Posted November 11, 2015 Q - How has that latest Marvel reboot been treating you? A - Why yes, I'd be happy to rub that on your back. Q: Did you ask me to rub that kryptonite sunblock onto you, Superman? A: I will raise that to the power of zero. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted November 11, 2015 Report Share Posted November 11, 2015 A: I will raise that to the power of zero. Q: Not a big fan of logarithms, are you? A: Rubber Ducky, You're the one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkdguy Posted November 11, 2015 Report Share Posted November 11, 2015 Q: Will the Grand Master kindly point out who has been prophecied to lead our armies to victory? A: That clock is running backwards! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted November 11, 2015 Report Share Posted November 11, 2015 A: That clock is running backwards! Q - Okay, so what's the deal with that clock? A - Scott Summers liked it. How bad could it be? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted November 12, 2015 Report Share Posted November 12, 2015 A - Scott Summers liked it. How bad could it be? Q: Why do we persist in inviting Jean Grey along to our X-Men Karaoke Nights? Her voice can strip paint! A: Thank goodness I'm getting what I need this year instead of what I want! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
death tribble Posted November 12, 2015 Report Share Posted November 12, 2015 A: Thank goodness I'm getting what I need this year instead of what I want! Q: What is the one thing you can be guaranteed not to hear from your children at Christmas when they see their presents ? A: plots and sex scandals failed outright Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted November 12, 2015 Report Share Posted November 12, 2015 A: plots and sex scandals failed outright Q: How do you know you're a better secret agent than James Bond? A: We should have realized this would happen when we legalized catnip. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted November 12, 2015 Report Share Posted November 12, 2015 A: We should have realized this would happen when we legalized catnip. Q - Did they really just haul the Crazy Cat Lady away in handcuffs and leg irons? A - No, not that black cat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted November 13, 2015 Report Share Posted November 13, 2015 Q - Did they really just haul the Crazy Cat Lady away in handcuffs and leg irons? A - No, not that black cat. Q: Did you realize that using this cat a black hole will open up? A: This amorph is your worst devil. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted November 15, 2015 Report Share Posted November 15, 2015 A: This amorph is your worst devil. Q: I, Lucifer, really need someone to go up to Earth and completely botch my latest scheme to bring about the downfall of Mankind. Now just between us, Beelzebub old pal, I really want this scheme to fail so my next, real plan will stand unopposed. Who shall I send? A: Because even if he is the King of the Beavers, Simon Cowell can't fool owls. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted November 17, 2015 Report Share Posted November 17, 2015 A: Because even if he is the King of the Beavers, Simon Cowell can't fool owls. Q: Dude, they found a few shreds of that emcee guy in the Tower of Flints; they only identified the remains from his toupee. Why'd they do that? A: Insanity has its perks! Sadly, too many people prefer drip coffee these days. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted November 18, 2015 Report Share Posted November 18, 2015 A: Insanity has its perks! Sadly, too many people prefer drip coffee these days. Q: Say, Harley, why is espresso cart we set us as a front for my latest sceme to humiliate Batman losing so much money? A: The siren call of a Raspberry Coke has led many a foolish mortal to their doom. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marcus Impudite Posted November 18, 2015 Report Share Posted November 18, 2015 Q: Say, Harley, why is espresso cart we set us as a front for my latest sceme to humiliate Batman losing so much money? A: The siren call of a Raspberry Coke has led many a foolish mortal to their doom. Q: Why on Earth would the Coca Cola company stop putting fruit flavors in their soft drinks? A: Most likely the same time they finally green-light "Spaceballs 2: The Search For More Money." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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