Michael Hopcroft Posted May 27, 2015 Report Share Posted May 27, 2015 A - I never would have guessed that was sulfuric acid! Q: Whatever you gave Jacques to drink, his bones are now on fire. How could you do that to him? A: He is handling the money. He is serving the food. He is in the music business. He is calling you "DUDE"! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted May 28, 2015 Report Share Posted May 28, 2015 A: He is handling the money. He is serving the food. He is in the music business. He is calling you "DUDE"! Q - What do you know about the distaff counterpart to that girl in "Short Skirt Long Jacket"? A - Even Foxbat would think that's nuts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted May 28, 2015 Report Share Posted May 28, 2015 A - Even Foxbat would think that's nuts. Q: Welcome to Operation Cashew, where we are going to conquer the world by tunneling to China! What do you think, my minions? A: It takes a village to raise an idiot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueCloud2k2 Posted May 29, 2015 Report Share Posted May 29, 2015 Q: You say you're from Paris? A: An electron has more mass than all of the craps I am giving right now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted May 29, 2015 Report Share Posted May 29, 2015 A: An electron has more mass than all of the craps I am giving right now. Q - Dr. Thomson, are you even listening to what I'm saying? A - Even in an alternate universe, there's no way Alanis Morissette wins that fight. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted May 29, 2015 Report Share Posted May 29, 2015 A - Even in an alternate universe, there's no way Alanis Morissette wins that fight. Q: You've put down ten g's on Courtney Love? A: I want to be the girl with the most cake. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted May 29, 2015 Report Share Posted May 29, 2015 A: I want to be the girl with the most cake. Q - Wait, you don't want to be the girl with the short skirt and the long jacket? A - I don't believer Mme Antoinette ever said, "Let them eat nitrous fumes". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted May 29, 2015 Report Share Posted May 29, 2015 Q A - I don't believer Mme Antoinette ever said, "Let them eat nitrous fumes". Q: How do know she didn't have a ferocious interest in chemistry but was held back by the social pressures of her era? A: Of course, she didn't have radium burn sores on her hands, either. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted May 29, 2015 Report Share Posted May 29, 2015 A: Of course, she didn't have radium burn sores on her hands, either. Q: You chose to date Lily Langtry over dating Marie Skłodowska? Lily never got the Nobel Prize! A: If you're going to build an opera house in the middle of the Amazon Rainforest, I hope you take into account the warping problem cellos have in extremely humid conditions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueCloud2k2 Posted May 31, 2015 Report Share Posted May 31, 2015 Q: What do you mean there are reasons why world-famous celloists don't come from South America? A: Mr. President, under the definition of redundent, it says "see redundent." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted May 31, 2015 Report Share Posted May 31, 2015 A: Mr. President, under the definition of redundent, it says "see redundent."Q: So what does it say after "(A) Redundant" and "( B ) Redundant"? A: Let's just go down and see if it's at the Surplus Store. EDIT; the funny extra spaces are to prevent the forums from interpreting it as a smiley. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueCloud2k2 Posted May 31, 2015 Report Share Posted May 31, 2015 Q: Alternate your clip with hallowpoints loaded with silver nitrate and holy water. That should take care of most of your super-natural needs. A: Nothing says love like some U-235 under your pillow. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted May 31, 2015 Report Share Posted May 31, 2015 A: Nothing says love like some U-235 under your pillow. Q: How do you keep that glow all morning? A: They don't make dinosaurs the way they used to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted June 1, 2015 Report Share Posted June 1, 2015 Q: How do you keep that glow all morning? A: They don't make dinosaurs the way they used to. Q: Why are you saying that the dinosaurs are made of crape paper? A: That shrinking ray just made him larger. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted June 1, 2015 Report Share Posted June 1, 2015 A: That shrinking ray just made him larger. Q: Did you switch the control circuits on Dr. Morpho's new superweapon like I told you? A: Her Center never moves as the Sheep Girl stands to fight! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueCloud2k2 Posted June 1, 2015 Report Share Posted June 1, 2015 Q: You say your new favorite Strip-Club caters to the Furry and Super-Hero-Fetish crowd? A: It's over a millenium old, has more armor than the entire Round-Table and Breaths fire. YOU kill it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted June 1, 2015 Report Share Posted June 1, 2015 A: It's over a millenium old, has more armor than the entire Round-Table and Breaths fire. YOU kill it! Q: What's that? ON NO! IT'S A COCKROACH! KILL IT! KILL IT! KILL IT! A: You've got a lot of nerve coming back here after what you did to the Sphinx! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueCloud2k2 Posted June 3, 2015 Report Share Posted June 3, 2015 Q: Said the Egyptologist to Sa'im al-Dahr's ghost: A: I cast Evans's Spiked Tentacles of Forced Intrusion. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted June 3, 2015 Report Share Posted June 3, 2015 Q: Said the Egyptologist to Sa'im al-Dahr's ghost: A: I cast Evans's Spiked Tentacles of Forced Intrusion. Q: What is Medusa's greatest fear? A: Your adding insult to surgery. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted June 3, 2015 Report Share Posted June 3, 2015 A: Your adding insult to surgery. Q - What would you consider more insulting than my simply slicing you open? A - There's a place for you. It's two standard deviations below the mean. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueCloud2k2 Posted June 3, 2015 Report Share Posted June 3, 2015 Q: What's a good way of telling an athiest scientist he's going to hell? A: Blame Bilko. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted June 3, 2015 Report Share Posted June 3, 2015 A: Blame Bilko. Q: It's such a shame he's such a meth-head stoner that will never amount to anything. What do we do with poor Froko Baggins? A: Not as bad as his cousin Wakko. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueCloud2k2 Posted June 5, 2015 Report Share Posted June 5, 2015 Q: It's hard to say who's the bigger deviant, Harpo, Groucho, or Chico. A: It's like shoving a rabid badger down your pants only less enjoyable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted June 5, 2015 Report Share Posted June 5, 2015 A: It's like shoving a rabid badger down your pants only less enjoyable. Q: How would feel about letting this box of starving, crazed weasels chew on your face for the next twenty minutes? A: She's five snakes in a pantsuit, one for the head and one for each limb, and she'll still be a more appealing Presidential candidate than anyone in the race now! (This joke courtesy of the upcoming album from the Doubleclicks!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueCloud2k2 Posted June 6, 2015 Report Share Posted June 6, 2015 Q: So tell me how you really feel about Sarah Palin/Hilary Clinton? A: It's like getting kicked in the balls only not as enjoyable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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