Klytus Posted April 10, 2011 Author Report Share Posted April 10, 2011 Re: Answers & Questions A: We've been fighting over the same acre of ground for twenty-seven years at a cost of over thirteen thousand dead soldiers. Something seems amiss. Q: Why are you in such a foul mood, General? A: Hopefully, the later will not be the former. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted April 11, 2011 Report Share Posted April 11, 2011 Re: Answers & Questions A: Hopefully' date=' the later will not be the former.[/quote'] Q: We were given the choice between death or surrender. A: Not even at gun-point. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sundog Posted April 11, 2011 Report Share Posted April 11, 2011 Re: Answers & Questions A: Not even at gun-point. Q: What was the name of that movie, the one where the guy was trying to balance out a score whilre people were shooting at him? A: The Fordham Mark Q Hyperblaster. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted April 11, 2011 Report Share Posted April 11, 2011 Re: Answers & Questions A: The Fordham Mark Q Hyperblaster. Q: When the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster seems tame to you, what do you order? A: We could just break bottles on your head, too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Klytus Posted April 11, 2011 Author Report Share Posted April 11, 2011 Re: Answers & Questions A: We could just break bottles on your head' date=' too.[/quote'] Q: I'm bored. Should we sing songs to pass the time? A: Not what I had in mind, but still amazingly effective. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted April 11, 2011 Report Share Posted April 11, 2011 Re: Answers & Questions A: Not what I had in mind' date=' but still amazingly effective.[/quote'] Q: I'm sorry, sir, we're fresh out of fuel-air explosives. Will you settle for eighteen tons of napalm? A: These lions look pretty tame to begin with. And they eat ants. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Klytus Posted April 12, 2011 Author Report Share Posted April 12, 2011 Re: Answers & Questions A: These lions look pretty tame to begin with. And they eat ants. Q: What makes you think that you, as an accountant, are somehow qualified to become a lion tamer? A: I can assure you that the first question they will ask me about you is not going to be "Does he have his own hat?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Narf the Mouse Posted April 12, 2011 Report Share Posted April 12, 2011 Re: Answers & Questions Q: What makes you think that you, as an accountant, are somehow qualified to become a lion tamer? A: I can assure you that the first question they will ask me about you is not going to be "Does he have his own hat?" Q: How do you know the castle I'm to take command of isn't full of Jagers? A: Nevertheless, I brought a hat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted April 12, 2011 Report Share Posted April 12, 2011 Re: Answers & Questions A: I can assure you that the first question they will ask me about you is not going to be "Does he have his own hat?" Q: I hear the Jaegermonsters are recruiting. Can I join? A: Remember -- any plan where you lose your hat is a Bad Plan! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sundog Posted April 12, 2011 Report Share Posted April 12, 2011 Re: Answers & Questions A: Nevertheless, I brought a hat. A: Remember -- any plan where you lose your hat is a Bad Plan! Q: How do you know the above posters read Girl Genius? A: I'll have a McSquick. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Klytus Posted April 12, 2011 Author Report Share Posted April 12, 2011 Re: Answers & Questions A: I'll have a McSquick. Q: Do you want something to wash down your McGross? A: A wise choice, Monsieur. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted April 12, 2011 Report Share Posted April 12, 2011 Re: Answers & Questions A: A wise choice' date=' Monsieur.[/quote'] Q: Would like a terrible French mind reader? A: It's Nine o'clock somewhere. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted April 12, 2011 Report Share Posted April 12, 2011 Re: Answers & Questions A: It's Nine o'clock somewhere. Q: Isn't this a bad time to be reading the news on TV? A: Five o'clock and all's well -- except that Maid Marian has been kidnapped, the Sheriff is up to no good again, that dog is stealing the cheese, Kermit's mad at Piggy and it's really only 4:30. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Klytus Posted April 12, 2011 Author Report Share Posted April 12, 2011 Re: Answers & Questions A: Five o'clock and all's well -- except that Maid Marian has been kidnapped' date=' the Sheriff is up to no good again, that dog is stealing the cheese, Kermit's mad at Piggy and it's really only 4:30.[/quote'] Q: What is the opening scene in "Muppet Robin Hood"? A: All mixed up together in a bucket. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted April 12, 2011 Report Share Posted April 12, 2011 Re: Answers & Questions A: All mixed up together in a bucket. Q: I thought that we had three monkeys, two chimps, twenty pounds of bananas, and some beans with a bucket. Where are they now? A: It's just a jump to the left, then a step to the right Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted April 12, 2011 Report Share Posted April 12, 2011 Re: Answers & Questions A: It's just a jump to the left' date=' then a step to the right[/quote'] Q: I'm sorry, but I'm still lost. How do you get to Jeld-Wen Field again? A: You're just about as useless as JPEGs to Helen Keller. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darbor Posted April 12, 2011 Report Share Posted April 12, 2011 Re: Answers & Questions A: You're just about as useless as JPEGs to Helen Keller. Q: Okay, I printed out all the email. Now, where can I find 1,500 envelopes and stamps so we can forward them? A: Can you believe it, I got $50 for the whole lot. I made a killing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Narf the Mouse Posted April 12, 2011 Report Share Posted April 12, 2011 Re: Answers & Questions Q: Okay, I printed out all the email. Now we need a bunch of envelopes and stamps so we can forward them. A: Can you believe it, I got $50 for the whole lot. I made a killing. Q: You advertise as "The cheapest assassin ever?" A: That's the worst argument I ever heard! And I do speech editing for Foxbat! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Klytus Posted April 12, 2011 Author Report Share Posted April 12, 2011 Re: Answers & Questions A: That's the worst argument I ever heard! And I do speech editing for Foxbat! Q: The Bible is the Truth. Ergo, anything that is not in the Bible must, by necessity, be a lie. End of argument. Clever, eh? A: Mia Momma. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted April 12, 2011 Report Share Posted April 12, 2011 Re: Answers & Questions A: Mia Momma. Q: Is there anything that can keep Mia Poppa under some degree of control? A: I know it's early in the season still, but it would be a good idea to at least win occasionally. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted April 12, 2011 Report Share Posted April 12, 2011 Re: Answers & Questions A: I know it's early in the season still' date=' but it would be a good idea to at least win occasionally.[/quote'] Q: What is the Phoenix Cardinals saying? A: First, I'd let go of that end... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted April 12, 2011 Report Share Posted April 12, 2011 Re: Answers & Questions A: First' date=' I'd let go of [i']that [/i]end... Q: This game of tug-of-war with the apatosaurus legions is not going as we expected. How can we stay out of the mud? A: Kenya! Where the giraffes are! And the zebras! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted April 14, 2011 Report Share Posted April 14, 2011 Re: Answers & Questions A: Kenya! Where the giraffes are! And the zebras! Q - You banished the president of PeTA to where?! A - I believe it's time for you to fry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted April 14, 2011 Report Share Posted April 14, 2011 Re: Answers & Questions A - I believe it's time for you to fry. q: So, St. Peter, that's how my life went. Will you let me into Heaven now? A: I'm a good driver. I always see motorcyclists, even when no motorcyclists are there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted April 15, 2011 Report Share Posted April 15, 2011 Re: Answers & Questions A: I'm a good driver. I always see motorcyclists' date=' even when no motorcyclists are there.[/quote'] Q - Do you really think that swerving at things only you can see makes you a good driver? A - Nothing wrong that a rise in the ocean level wouldn't fix. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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