Michael Hopcroft Posted March 30, 2009 Report Share Posted March 30, 2009 Re: Answers & Questions A - Wow' date=' I guess it's colder in here than I thought.[/quote'] Q: Has it really been fifteen minutes since you've moved? A: You are aware that you're an antelope in a human body. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sundog Posted March 31, 2009 Report Share Posted March 31, 2009 Re: Answers & Questions Q: Has it really been fifteen minutes since you've moved? A: You are aware that you're an antelope in a human body. Q: What statement suggested your doctor had become unhinged? A: No, it's a much faster way to lose money. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted March 31, 2009 Report Share Posted March 31, 2009 Re: Answers & Questions A: No' date=' it's a much [i']faster[/i] way to lose money. Q: Want to publish roleplaying games? A: Even an Orc would be able to tell this is a bad idea. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted March 31, 2009 Report Share Posted March 31, 2009 Re: Answers & Questions A: Even an Orc would be able to tell this is a bad idea. Q: I'VE GOT IT! How about Pogo-Stick Chainsaw Barbarians as the dreaded elite arm of the evil wizard's horde? A: Allow me to submit, sir, that might be one of the small number of things that aren't made better by chainsaws. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted March 31, 2009 Report Share Posted March 31, 2009 Re: Answers & Questions A: Allow me to submit' date=' sir, that might be one of the small number of things that aren't made better by chainsaws.[/quote'] Q: How do you like my new Death-Proof baby buggy? A: Now with 50% less Death Crystals. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted April 1, 2009 Report Share Posted April 1, 2009 Re: Answers & Questions A: Now with 50% less Death Crystals. Q: What makes the new Death-Lite so special? A: The Cardissian Chronicles. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted April 1, 2009 Report Share Posted April 1, 2009 Re: Answers & Questions A: The Cardissian Chronicles. Q - Name a newspaper so bad that even the Ferengi can't sell it. A - You say tomato, I say kiss off! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sundog Posted April 1, 2009 Report Share Posted April 1, 2009 Re: Answers & Questions Q - Name a newspaper so bad that even the Ferengi can't sell it. A - You say tomato, I say kiss off! Q: Why popular music is not improved when interpreted by football hooligans: A: Sulphuric Acid Reflux. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted April 1, 2009 Report Share Posted April 1, 2009 Re: Answers & Questions A: Sulphuric Acid Reflux. Q - What kind of gastric disorders do people get in Hell? A - I said 'Argon', not 'Argonne'. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted April 2, 2009 Report Share Posted April 2, 2009 Re: Answers & Questions A - I said 'Argon'' date=' not 'Argonne'.[/quote'] Q: What are you talking about? What's so bad about reading Eye of Argonne in writing class? A: A giant crimson emerald, with many faucets bright. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tim Posted April 2, 2009 Report Share Posted April 2, 2009 Re: Answers & Questions A: A giant crimson emerald, with many faucets bright. Q: Can you describe your new bathtub? A: It's what I live to die for. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted April 2, 2009 Report Share Posted April 2, 2009 Re: Answers & Questions A: It's what I live to die for. Q - So, how's the vampire girlfriend working out? A - No, I don't think zombies would be appropriate for this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sundog Posted April 2, 2009 Report Share Posted April 2, 2009 Re: Answers & Questions Q - So, how's the vampire girlfriend working out? A - No, I don't think zombies would be appropriate for this. Q: New contract. Telemarketing. Shall I raise the Zombies? A: The elephant, it burns! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted April 2, 2009 Report Share Posted April 2, 2009 Re: Answers & Questions A: The elephant' date=' it burns![/quote'] Q - Are there really people who are allergic to pachyderms? A - Nothing wrong here that a little mercury fulminate wouldn't fix. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DocMan Posted April 2, 2009 Report Share Posted April 2, 2009 Re: Answers & Questions A - Nothing wrong here that a little mercury fulminate wouldn't fix. Q: While your work as a chemist has been excellent, you have been late or called in sick for the last eight Monday mornings. Do you see the problem here, Bob? A: I'm sorry, I didn't hear your question. I was in my Happy Fun Zone. Doc Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marcus Impudite Posted April 2, 2009 Report Share Posted April 2, 2009 Re: Answers & Questions Q: While your work as a chemist has been excellent, you have been late or called in sick for the last eight Monday mornings. Do you see the problem here, Bob? A: I'm sorry, I didn't hear your question. I was in my Happy Fun Zone. Doc Q: "Sir, the main reactor's melting down, several decks are on fire, and the mess hall is out of nachos, What do we do? Sir? Sir?" A: The misinformation campaign regarding my one secret weakness shall involve several fake weaknesses, each confided in a different person. This way, if the hero attempts to vanquish me by dousing me with lemon-lime sports soft drink, I will know immediately who I need to issue arrest and termination orders for once I dispatch that annoying do-gooder. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sundog Posted April 2, 2009 Report Share Posted April 2, 2009 Re: Answers & Questions Q: "Sir, the main reactor's melting down, several decks are on fire, and the mess hall is out of nachos, What do we do? Sir? Sir?" A: The misinformation campaign regarding my one secret weakness shall involve several fake weaknesses, each confided in a different person. This way, if the hero attempts to vanquish me by dousing me with lemon-lime sports soft drink, I will know immediately who I need to issue arrest and termination orders for once I dispatch that annoying do-gooder. Q: What list do you turn to for the answers to all the big questions? A: No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to die! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted April 2, 2009 Report Share Posted April 2, 2009 Re: Answers & Questions A: No' date=' Mr. Bond, I expect you to die![/quote'] Q: Do you expect me to cook you some Fettuccine Alfredo? A: Do I look like I care whether it's shaken or stirred? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DocMan Posted April 2, 2009 Report Share Posted April 2, 2009 Re: Answers & Questions A: Do I look like I care whether it's shaken or stirred? Q: Don't you realize how dangerous it is to agitate the Happy Fun Zone? An rotational oscillation is fine, but vertical agitation could have dire consequences! A: That was black magic, and it was easy to use. Easy and fun. Like Legos. Doc Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted April 2, 2009 Report Share Posted April 2, 2009 Re: Answers & Questions A: That was black magic, and it was easy to use. Easy and fun. Like Legos. Q: Didn't the cat used to be calico? A: How much is that doggy in the window? He's just right for our sacrifice! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sundog Posted April 2, 2009 Report Share Posted April 2, 2009 Re: Answers & Questions Q: Didn't the cat used to be calico? A: How much is that doggy in the window? He's just right for our sacrifice! Q: From Satanism for Dummies: Do's and Don'ts. A: It's rather kinky, and slightly disturbing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted April 2, 2009 Report Share Posted April 2, 2009 Re: Answers & Questions A: It's rather kinky' date=' and slightly disturbing.[/quote'] Q: What are you doing with that fish? A: Doctor, this new foot doesn't fit! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DocMan Posted April 2, 2009 Report Share Posted April 2, 2009 Re: Answers & Questions A: Doctor' date=' this new foot doesn't fit![/quote'] Q: Yes, I am a proctologist. What brings you here today? A: I didn't expect you to use sandpaper! Doc Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sundog Posted April 3, 2009 Report Share Posted April 3, 2009 Re: Answers & Questions Q: Yes, I am a proctologist. What brings you here today? A: I didn't expect you to use sandpaper! Doc Q: What are you complaining about? This is all part of the standard Emergency Genital Cleaning Procedure. A: You insert it here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DocMan Posted April 3, 2009 Report Share Posted April 3, 2009 Re: Answers & Questions A: You insert it here. Q: What did she say that embarrased you so? A: I think it would be more impressive if it wasn't made out of Legos. Doc Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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