Pariah Posted March 20, 2009 Report Share Posted March 20, 2009 Re: Answers & Questions A: One foot in the grave' date=' the other in the gravy.[/quote'] Q - So, you're here about the coronary blockage? A - And that's how it really happened, your honor. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sundog Posted March 20, 2009 Report Share Posted March 20, 2009 Re: Answers & Questions Q - So, you're here about the coronary blockage? A - And that's how it really happened, your honor. Q: So, you're telling me that the bullet left your gun, turned 90 degrees right, flew up the stairs, opened the door, and hit your wife in the kitchen? A: Ve haff vays of making you talk, but not to make you shutup? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted March 20, 2009 Report Share Posted March 20, 2009 Re: Answers & Questions A: Ve haff vays of making you talk' date=' but not to make you shutup?[/quote'] Q - You'll never silence me, you Teutonic cad! Never! You hear me? Never!! A - And now for a little peace and quiet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sundog Posted March 20, 2009 Report Share Posted March 20, 2009 Re: Answers & Questions Q - You'll never silence me, you Teutonic cad! Never! You hear me? Never!! A - And now for a little peace and quiet. Q: What are you not likely to hear at a Metal Band Festtival? A: Mjolnir Crossing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted March 20, 2009 Report Share Posted March 20, 2009 Re: Answers & Questions A: Mjolnir Crossing. Q: I want to breed a race of super-powered impact tools! Any suggestions? A: Rave green. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sundog Posted March 20, 2009 Report Share Posted March 20, 2009 Re: Answers & Questions Q: I want to breed a race of super-powered impact tools! Any suggestions? A: Rave green. Q: Why are they only passing around toads at this dance party? A: The failure of the experiment was due to incontinence. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted March 20, 2009 Report Share Posted March 20, 2009 Re: Answers & Questions A: The failure of the experiment was due to incontinence. Q: How's the testing for the zero-G space toilet coming along? A: I don't think you want to know where the water came from. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted March 20, 2009 Report Share Posted March 20, 2009 Re: Answers & Questions A: I don't think you want to know where the water came from. Q - Wow, the showers in this submarine have serious water pressure! A - No experience required. In fact, the less you know, the better! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted March 20, 2009 Report Share Posted March 20, 2009 Re: Answers & Questions A - No experience required. In fact' date=' the less you know, the better![/quote'] Q: Welcome to the your new job - as Illinois Governor. A: And now for the ultimate dread - the peanut! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted March 20, 2009 Report Share Posted March 20, 2009 Re: Answers & Questions A: And now for the ultimate dread - the peanut! Q - I'd like you to meet my kids, Sam and Ella. Hey, why are you looking so queasy all of a sudden? A - He's been snorting Kool-Aid again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted March 21, 2009 Report Share Posted March 21, 2009 Re: Answers & Questions A - He's been snorting Kool-Aid again. Q: What's all this he's saying about Jonestown? A: Tell my wife I am trolling Atlantis, and I still have my hand on the wheel. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sundog Posted March 21, 2009 Report Share Posted March 21, 2009 Re: Answers & Questions Q: What's all this he's saying about Jonestown? A: Tell my wife I am trolling Atlantis, and I still have my hand on the wheel. Q: Are you riffing on Billy Joel again? A: It's Weird Al, what do you think? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted March 21, 2009 Report Share Posted March 21, 2009 Re: Answers & Questions A: It's Weird Al' date=' what do you think?[/quote'] Q - Hey, this parody is even better than the original! A - It's too early to be up today. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sundog Posted March 21, 2009 Report Share Posted March 21, 2009 Re: Answers & Questions Q - Hey, this parody is even better than the original! A - It's too early to be up today. Q: What do you think of heading out at 1am? A: I call it "Long term failure of the artistic establishment." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted March 21, 2009 Report Share Posted March 21, 2009 Re: Answers & Questions A: I call it "Long term failure of the artistic establishment." Q - Miley Cyrus? The Jonas Brothers? What do you call this crap, anyway? A - Dmitri Shostakovich, in Red Square, with an AK-47. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted March 22, 2009 Report Share Posted March 22, 2009 Re: Answers & Questions A - Dmitri Shostakovich' date=' in Red Square, with an AK-47.[/quote'] Q: I thought that the Kremlin was here, and who is that guy over there? A: Meet me at the Possum Lodge. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted March 22, 2009 Report Share Posted March 22, 2009 Re: Answers & Questions A: Meet me at the Possum Lodge. Q: I'm calling in dead at work. Care to join me for a brew? A: It's the end of the world -- if we're lucky. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted March 22, 2009 Report Share Posted March 22, 2009 Re: Answers & Questions A: It's the end of the world -- if we're lucky. Q - Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan just got a TV show together. A - Having godlike powers is a little overrated sometimes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sundog Posted March 22, 2009 Report Share Posted March 22, 2009 Re: Answers & Questions Q - Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan just got a TV show together. A - Having godlike powers is a little overrated sometimes. Q: What's the real reason many superheroes have secret identities? A: We just call it that to distract the tourists before the sacrifices begin. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted March 22, 2009 Report Share Posted March 22, 2009 Re: Answers & Questions A: We just call it that to distract the tourists before the sacrifices begin. Q - Is there really surfing at the big volcanic mountain? A - And if I could type, I'd be truly dangerous! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted March 22, 2009 Report Share Posted March 22, 2009 Re: Answers & Questions A - And if I could type' date=' I'd be truly dangerous![/quote'] Q: Wut dew u tink off me nu nobel? A: The Monk bought Lunch! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sundog Posted March 22, 2009 Report Share Posted March 22, 2009 Re: Answers & Questions Q: Wut dew u tink off me nu nobel? A: The Monk bought Lunch! Q: Why does the ecumenical conference only have bread, meal and wine for refreshments? A: You can have the throwing stars. I'll take the laser cannon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted March 22, 2009 Report Share Posted March 22, 2009 Re: Answers & Questions A: You can have the throwing stars. I'll take the laser cannon. Q: Why did Project CyberNinja not go as planned? A: If the battery runs out, I die. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted March 22, 2009 Report Share Posted March 22, 2009 Re: Answers & Questions A: If the battery runs out' date=' I die.[/quote'] Q: Why did you just buy 80% of the Energizer stock? A: Death's Contract. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sundog Posted March 23, 2009 Report Share Posted March 23, 2009 Re: Answers & Questions Q: Why did you just buy 80% of the Energizer stock? A: Death's Contract. Q: What do you buy if you absolutely, positively want someone dead? A: A message to all, who go over the wall - Death is the only escape! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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