Asperion Posted January 11, 2009 Report Share Posted January 11, 2009 Re: Answers & Questions A: On top of everything else' date=' I can't believe I have to go to work today, too.[/quote'] Q: My car caught fire, your arch-nemesis crashed my house, the Navajo Power Station died and you know what else? A: The biggest waste of all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted January 11, 2009 Report Share Posted January 11, 2009 Re: Answers & Questions A: The biggest waste of all. Q: What's the worst part of being an elephant keeper? A: The hills are alive! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tim Posted January 11, 2009 Report Share Posted January 11, 2009 Re: Answers & Questions A: The Hills are alive! Q: Didn't the Hills die in a car crash last week? A: All we need is a miracle. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted January 11, 2009 Report Share Posted January 11, 2009 Re: Answers & Questions A: All we need is a miracle. Q: What have Mike + The Mechanics been saying since Paul Young died? A: Hey, it could have been worse. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sundog Posted January 11, 2009 Report Share Posted January 11, 2009 Re: Answers & Questions Q: What have Mike + The Mechanics been saying since Paul Young died? A: Hey, it could have been worse. Q: I've just been fired, my house has burned doown and my dog died. A: My house died and my dog burned down. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted January 11, 2009 Report Share Posted January 11, 2009 Re: Answers & Questions A: My house died and my dog burned down. Q: From the homeowner's point of view, please interpret "There Will Come Soft Rains" by Bradbury. A: And we have a consensus: dogs do not make good Congressmen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted January 12, 2009 Report Share Posted January 12, 2009 Re: Answers & Questions A: And we have a consensus: dogs do not make good Congressmen. Q: Why is there so much waste on Capital Hill? A: The day the Earth stood still. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sundog Posted January 12, 2009 Report Share Posted January 12, 2009 Re: Answers & Questions Q: Why is there so much waste on Capital Hill? A: The day the Earth stood still. Q: When did everything start flying eastwards? A: Invasion of the cup and saucer men. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted January 12, 2009 Report Share Posted January 12, 2009 Re: Answers & Questions A: Invasion of the cup and saucer men. A: Why are we all of a sudden dropping everything to have tea and crumpets every afternoon? Q: A nice, steaming cup of hot lava. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted January 12, 2009 Report Share Posted January 12, 2009 Re: Answers & Questions Q: A nice' date=' steaming cup of hot lava.[/quote'] A: Welcome to the Plutonic Cafe! What can I get you for starters? Q: Please excuse me; I just got out of the pion shower. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tim Posted January 12, 2009 Report Share Posted January 12, 2009 Re: Answers & Questions Q: Please excuse me; I just got out of the pion shower. Q: WHy are you covered in whipped Cream and Meringue? A: A Skeleton Key Lime Pie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted January 13, 2009 Report Share Posted January 13, 2009 Re: Answers & Questions A: A Skeleton Key Lime Pie Q: What kind of pie do supermodels eat to avoid gaining weight? A: Broken into no less than three dozen pieces. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted January 13, 2009 Report Share Posted January 13, 2009 Re: Answers & Questions A: Broken into no less than three dozen pieces. Q: Why does it take so long to assemble the Ancient Mirror of Ultimate Power? A: And the profanity went on for several more agonizing minutes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted January 13, 2009 Report Share Posted January 13, 2009 Re: Answers & Questions A: And the profanity went on for several more agonizing minutes. Q: So Ralphie, was your father having problems with that furnace again last night? A: More fun than a bucket of live squid! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted January 13, 2009 Report Share Posted January 13, 2009 Re: Answers & Questions A: More fun than a bucket of live squid! Q: What words would you use to describe almost everything in the Universe? A: I will not buy this tobacconist. It is scratched. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Basil Posted January 14, 2009 Report Share Posted January 14, 2009 Re: Answers & Questions A: I will not buy this tobacconist. It is scratched. Q: What does a picky person say at the slave market? A: Neither a submarine, a "sub" sandwich, nor a substitute teacher. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sundog Posted January 14, 2009 Report Share Posted January 14, 2009 Re: Answers & Questions Q: What does a picky person say at the slave market? A: Neither a submarine, a "sub" sandwich, nor a substitute teacher. Q: What di you mean by "sub", Dom? A: Let me build a bridge, for I cannot fill the chasm. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted January 14, 2009 Report Share Posted January 14, 2009 Re: Answers & Questions A: Let me build a bridge' date=' for I cannot fill the chasm.[/quote'] Q: How are we going to set the battlements on fire? A: I've lived all my life on Planet Earth. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted January 14, 2009 Report Share Posted January 14, 2009 Re: Answers & Questions A: I've lived all my life on Planet Earth. Q: Your primitive species has never even been to Alpha Centauri?! A: My back is killing me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted January 14, 2009 Report Share Posted January 14, 2009 Re: Answers & Questions A: My back is killing me. Q: The ends of the garotte are held by ... your thoracic vertebrae? What's going on here? A: Today I get a whole seventeen seconds for lunch break! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted January 14, 2009 Report Share Posted January 14, 2009 Re: Answers & Questions A: Today I get a whole seventeen seconds for lunch break! Q: Why was the Flash so happy today? A: Here I am to save the day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted January 14, 2009 Report Share Posted January 14, 2009 Re: Answers & Questions A: Here I am to save the day. Q: We need to reboot the Universe! Who's going to preserve our reality? A: All of a sudden, I'm the bad guy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted January 14, 2009 Report Share Posted January 14, 2009 Re: Answers & Questions A: All of a sudden' date=' I'm the bad guy.[/quote'] Q: What's Tony Stark's biggest gripe about Joe Q? A: They'll never print it. And if they do print it, nobody will ever want to read it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted January 14, 2009 Report Share Posted January 14, 2009 Re: Answers & Questions A: They'll never print it. And if they do print it' date=' nobody will ever want to read it![/quote'] Q: What did the New York publishing houses say to L. Frank Baum when he offered them The Wizard of Oz? A: I hope you're happy now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Basil Posted January 15, 2009 Report Share Posted January 15, 2009 Re: Answers & Questions A: I hope you're happy now. Q: A: "swoosh, swoosh, swoosh"; sounding just like snow-pants. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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