Hermit Posted August 1, 2007 Report Share Posted August 1, 2007 Reposted from another thread where it got a few laughs... There is a shimmering in the fabric of reality itself, a bell like toll that is only heard by the mind and not the ear. Then, there stands a figure, humanoid yet radiating the power cosmic, much like the Examiner, but this is not that being. To their mere mortal eyes, this golden skinned being in flowing blue tabard and breaches has numerous symbols drifting about him , text minus the page, small letters and numbers in a million .languages... The being speaks, "Before your world had cooled, I was. Before your star was alight, I was. Long have I drifted, made eternal by one purpose-one over riding drive, from place to place, world to work, time to time. I come to fill the niche all the universe cries for: To Deliver Pizza in a timely fashion for reasonable prices to beings of power, such as yourself. I am known by many names, but some call me LORD 'ZA!" Let's face it, not every Cosmic being can be the Examiner, or the Watcher, or a World Eating being that somehow serves the cosmic balance. Okay, maybe they can and that's part of the definition of 'Cosmic' but still... what about the niche guys? The one who were, to quote a PC "in the john" when the cool cosmic purposes/existences were being handed out? Due to popularuncalled for demand whim I hereby dedicate this thread and open it to any who would make such grand contributions for others to abuse... err.. use. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OddHat Posted August 1, 2007 Report Share Posted August 1, 2007 Re: When the good cosmic being motiffs are taken "Ayam teh Kozmik Katz. Ay wantz teh cheeseburgers." - Kozmik Katz Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hermit Posted August 1, 2007 Author Report Share Posted August 1, 2007 Re: When the good cosmic being motiffs are taken Shadowstrike groaned as he hit the pavement. Above him, Deathwing gloated, "Try when you've got hair on your chin, punk..." and then flew off. The young martial artist got up and suppressed any further sounds despite his bruised condition. He had been totally, and completely out matched. Limping down the road, he could hear music in the street. Perhaps from an apartment nearby? though it must have been echoing off other walls through out because it was hard to pin down the direction it was coming from. (Come to think of it)Oo. He thought, (It sounds like the music from that old show with Bill Bixby. About as melancholy as I feel)Oo. Feeling miserable himself, Shadowstrike ignored the music as he went home. In the morning, he arose, and went into his private dojo to begin training. He had to get stronger, faster, improve his natural abilities. *Dun nah naaa* He struck a punching bag. *nu nu nah* He kicked and hit another practice target. *dun nuh nu nu nah, doo daa* Faster and faster Shadowstrike's hands and feet flew until he was moving quicker than ever, but all the time he was wondering in the back of his mind (Wait! Is that the music from Rocky?)Oo. "WELL GUESSED!" A voice chimed behind him as a figure, that seemed to be every musical note incarnate appeared. "Who are you?" Shadowstrike assumed a ready stance. "I?" Said the being, "I am the Cosmic Granter of background music appropriate to the current situation. I assist those such as you at turning points of their lives by providing universal ambiance in an auditory fashion. You may call me THEME!" DU NAH! Two tones conveyed the sound of 'revelation'. "This is nuts. You're going to follow me around providing theme music?" Shadowstrike rubbed his forehead. "That is my purpose," THEME answered. Shadowstrike pointed a finger at the being, "I ... am going to the bathroom. YOU had better be gone when I get back." The young martial artist opened a side door, and locked it. A minute later, THEME sang out "PLOP PLOP FIZZ FIZZ OH WHAT A RELIEF IT IS..." "STOP THAT!" Shadowstrike yelled. "awwww..." THEME muttered As mentioned, THEME exists only to provide auditory ambiance. Most heroes find this highly annoying, but it is possible it actually acts as a boost to the situation (Perhaps using an AID Power with Invisible FX advantage). Heroes may appreciate Barry White playing in the background as they fly their reporter love interests over the city if it gives them a +2 to Seduction rolls. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord Mhoram Posted August 1, 2007 Report Share Posted August 1, 2007 Re: When the good cosmic being motiffs are taken "Ayam teh Kozmik Katz. Ay wantz teh cheeseburgers." - Kozmik Katz U winz teh internetz Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Powerhouse Posted August 2, 2007 Report Share Posted August 2, 2007 Re: When the good cosmic being motiffs are taken Once again I can't rep Hermit because I need to spread it around! "A minute later, THEME sang out "PLOP PLOP FIZZ FIZZ OH WHAT A RELIEF IT IS..." " Dear God, that's HYSTERICAL! I laughed out loud! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Balabanto Posted August 2, 2007 Report Share Posted August 2, 2007 Re: When the good cosmic being motiffs are taken I love the Barry White music. That's too wrong. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Balabanto Posted August 2, 2007 Report Share Posted August 2, 2007 Re: When the good cosmic being motiffs are taken And now, other cosmic beings of no particular import! Lord Soxx! You know all those missing socks in your drawer? He's the lord of the dimension where they reside! Polly-o: The cosmic entity of tasty microwavable string cheese. Foon: The cosmic entity of the opposite of sporks. More soon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord Liaden Posted August 2, 2007 Report Share Posted August 2, 2007 Re: When the good cosmic being motiffs are taken He seeks out lands and worlds where life is failing, and restores them to lushness. He nourishes the barren soil with discarded nutrients gathered from countless planets across the universe. His coming is heralded by the overpowering scent of ripeness, as his titanic brown hands renew the fading greenery. He is the Demigod of Dumps, the Sower of Celestial Sh*t, known across the stars as... THE FERTILIZER! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vagrant winds Posted August 2, 2007 Report Share Posted August 2, 2007 Re: When the good cosmic being motiffs are taken Great... now I have to create a "Soundtrack" Change Environment power for my next Mystic character. <_< Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Emu Posted August 2, 2007 Report Share Posted August 2, 2007 Re: When the good cosmic being motiffs are taken Completely reseting reality, it's THE INITIALIZER!!! Uninterested in anything in the universe, it's THE IGNORER!!! Assigning travel ratings throughout the cosmos, it's KRITEEK... And when a world becomes tarnished and in need of cleaning, all tremble before the might of WAXXON. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Balabanto Posted August 2, 2007 Report Share Posted August 2, 2007 Re: When the good cosmic being motiffs are taken Innioutus, the cosmic arbiter of belly button lint! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mister E Posted August 2, 2007 Report Share Posted August 2, 2007 Re: When the good cosmic being motiffs are taken "I am the unseen transcosmic over-mind from the outer-limits beyond space and time which freezes heroes and villains in dynamic poses for splash-pages when the attention-deficits of readership is waxing: I AM FOTO-OP-a-TRON, LORD of the UNIGNORABLE INSTANT!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Balabanto Posted August 2, 2007 Report Share Posted August 2, 2007 Re: When the good cosmic being motiffs are taken BEHOLD! I am GAD-ZUUK! I am the cosmic lord of all that is unfathomable heroic explanations of disbelief! Observe how utterly, completely, and innocuously I slip into every hero's life, without ever leaving my home on the top of Glorious Explanation Mountain! From the top of this mighty alternate dimensional peak, my lord and master, the mighty Continuito pulls the strings of comic book writing, creating vast and sundry plots that make no sense! My power is but a fraction of his, yet he manages to confuse us all! Why only yesterday, in issue 1,738,543 of GAD-ZUUK, I myself felt the mighty Continuito's power. Even I had forgotten that in issue 546,734 I had been temporarily transformed into a bisexual woman and made love to Sarah Anderson, whose legs were extremely long! Those were the days! But now, Sarah Anderson has been transformed into Reformatia, by Continuito, and is planning on turning me into...sob...trade paperbacks....and now that I am a disembodied head again, my life is over.... Can anyone save GAD-ZUUK? Will he be a girl again so he can be with his lesbian love? Find out, in the pulse pounding conclusion to our cosmic tale, in issue 1,738,544 of GAD-ZUUK, (Volume four of a 12 part cosmic maxi-series) when he says.... GREAT EYES OF THE MIND MAKER!!!!!!!!! (And if you thought this was retarded, they're actually bringing back Omega the Unknown. That's right. You heard me. Omega the Unknown, which makes everything I just wrote look tame and mentally blase) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Comic Posted August 3, 2007 Report Share Posted August 3, 2007 Re: When the good cosmic being motiffs are taken I can relate, as the former player of "Fluffy" who wields "The Power Cosmetic." I think Joss Whedon must have gotten the idea from hearing of.. Huh? Oh. Paranoid delusional episode.. carry on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ParagonAlpha Posted August 3, 2007 Report Share Posted August 3, 2007 Re: When the good cosmic being motiffs are taken I dwell within the realms of reality, between the heavy, angst-filled base, akimbo to the jarringly, haunting counter, melodic words of despair. I bleed into your reality as thoughts and expressions, heard by those who care only enough to not to care. I am bleak, but only when you look at me. I am darkness as long as the lights are out. I have no form or image except the paleness of my flesh and dark eyeliner. You hear me when Sousie banshees and the Whites stripe. I am EMO, the All of Nothingness. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Balabanto Posted August 4, 2007 Report Share Posted August 4, 2007 Re: When the good cosmic being motiffs are taken Lord of all that is catching seafood, he is...The Master Baiter!!!! Wait...that's not right...is it? She is the mistress of improperly filtered liquids across the universe, behold the limitless power of Dysenteria!!!!! He is the cosmic overseer of all maintaince men, observe the colossal power of...JANITO, Lord of the Cosmic Mop! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clonus Posted August 4, 2007 Report Share Posted August 4, 2007 Re: When the good cosmic being motiffs are taken (And if you thought this was retarded, they're actually bringing back Omega the Unknown. That's right. You heard me. Omega the Unknown, which makes everything I just wrote look tame and mentally blase) I've heard of Omega the Unknown, but for some reason I have no idea who he is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
transmetahuman Posted August 5, 2007 Report Share Posted August 5, 2007 Re: When the good cosmic being motiffs are taken I've heard of Omega the Unknown' date=' but for some reason I have no idea who he is.[/quote'] All I know, I got from Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Omega_the_Unknown. Sounds like the originals might have been interesting, actually. Back on topic: Miss Universe: Obsessed, as you've guessed, with winning beauty pageants, wherever in the universe she finds them. Unfortunately, her more primordial race was endowed with far more tentacles than are fashionable these days - and though her peers amongst the Obsessed Fogies of the Universe have learned to use their Power Cosmic to take on more palatable humanoid forms, she refuses to as a point of pride. Thus, her willingness to do anything to win (besides alter her gods-given gorgeousness) has led to a string of very bloody pageants. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin Schultz Posted August 5, 2007 Report Share Posted August 5, 2007 Re: When the good cosmic being motiffs are taken For a slightly more serious look at this type of game, consider Nobilis. Kevin Schultz, who once played the incarnation of children's literature, ages 3-5. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Emu Posted August 7, 2007 Report Share Posted August 7, 2007 Re: When the good cosmic being motiffs are taken LACTUS, Grazer of Worlds Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
"V" Posted August 7, 2007 Report Share Posted August 7, 2007 Re: When the good cosmic being motiffs are taken On the assumption that cosmic beings are ineffable and unknowable, and take on form based on the limited perceptions and expectations of lesser creatures: The manifestation of Cosmic Doubt, appearing at moments where lesser beings feel certain about any action - a vast Owl with eyes upraised and a booming voice intoning O'RLY? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teh bunneh Posted August 7, 2007 Report Share Posted August 7, 2007 Re: When the good cosmic being motiffs are taken I always liked Rasslor, from Dexter's Laboratory. Bill. (Being voiced by Randy "Macho Man" Savage doesn't hurt, either!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AdamLeisemann Posted August 8, 2007 Report Share Posted August 8, 2007 Re: When the good cosmic being motiffs are taken Cosmo, the cosmic puppy is not exactly the kind of godling people really give a care about. That is, until he gives the big sad soulful eyes that make your soul burn with agony and drives you utterly psychotic. Ambrosia is the lord of drunkenness, capable of rendering anyone in a drunken stupor. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nekkidcarpenter Posted August 8, 2007 Report Share Posted August 8, 2007 Re: When the good cosmic being motiffs are taken Triangle Man! Don't mess with him. You don't want a repeat of what happened to Person Man. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AdamLeisemann Posted August 8, 2007 Report Share Posted August 8, 2007 Re: When the good cosmic being motiffs are taken Triangle Man! Don't mess with him. You don't want a repeat of what happened to Person Man. Or Particle Man, for that matter. Though nothing happenned to Universe Man, the guy with the most complicated watch ever. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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