Susano Posted May 11, 2007 Report Share Posted May 11, 2007 Long after humans succumb to self-induced extinction, alien anthropologists are going to visit Earth and come to an obvious conclusion: Spider-Man was our God. Even if you discount the unholy rotten truckloads of Slurpee cups and action figures used to market the films, Spider-Man's so much a part of our collective consciousness that he may as well be a God -- we use the story to tell moral fables and ... forget it. Just forget it. I was trying to put an intellectual spin on everything here, but the fact is that I'm a nerd and way more stoked about Spider-Man 3 than an adult should be. The whole point of life is to be excited about stuff, as excited as you can be, and I'm trying my damnedest to access the passion I felt for Spider-Man as a kid. It's working pretty well, too. So instead of inflating this post with a bunch of pseudo-intellectual nonsense, I'll get to the nerdy fun. Here's ten incarnations of Spider-Man that will never, ever make it into a movie: http://andiamnotlyingforreal.blogspot.com/2007/05/ten-spider-man-appearances-that-will.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susano Posted May 11, 2007 Author Report Share Posted May 11, 2007 Re: Ten Spider-Man Appearances That Will Never Hit Hollywood All of a sudden, I want to do a character sheet for Spider-Ganesh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cold Steel Posted May 11, 2007 Report Share Posted May 11, 2007 Re: Ten Spider-Man Appearances That Will Never Hit Hollywood Peter Parker bitten by a radioactive elephant?!! And his arch foe is The Green Mongoose. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spidey88 Posted May 11, 2007 Report Share Posted May 11, 2007 Re: Ten Spider-Man Appearances That Will Never Hit Hollywood Long after humans succumb to self-induced extinction, alien anthropologists are going to visit Earth and come to an obvious conclusion: Spider-Man was our God. My apartment will no doubt be known to them as a prominent shrine to the worship of the webbed one - what with all the idols crafted in his image, the vast number of holy documents, and the video records of his exploits... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Balabanto Posted May 12, 2007 Report Share Posted May 12, 2007 Re: Ten Spider-Man Appearances That Will Never Hit Hollywood Rofl. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jtelson Posted May 12, 2007 Report Share Posted May 12, 2007 Re: Ten Spider-Man Appearances That Will Never Hit Hollywood Peter Parker bitten by a radioactive elephant?!! And his arch foe is The Green Mongoose. Wouldn't his foe be a mouse of some sort? Plus you'd have to replace spidey sense with Eidetic Memory - I don't even want to think about what he'd fling. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucius Posted May 12, 2007 Report Share Posted May 12, 2007 Re: Ten Spider-Man Appearances That Will Never Hit Hollywood Spider God, Spider God, Does anything Ganesha can do... Nah, doesn't rhyme. Lucius Alexander Conspicuous by its absence... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
"V" Posted May 12, 2007 Report Share Posted May 12, 2007 Re: Ten Spider-Man Appearances That Will Never Hit Hollywood Ganesh man Ganesh Man Does whatever a Ganesh can Eats a bun, with his nose Forgets nothing, we suppose Look out Here comes the Ganesh Man Is he strong? Listen punk He's got a prehensile trunk! Can he squirt Water through it Check it out, nothing to it! In the heat or chill When there's trees to move Like a walking hill His strength he'll prove Ganesh Man Ganesh Man One-Tusked Hindu Ganesh Man On their shoulders Lifted High Hernias He'll supply No sir, he isn't just a fable And he sleeps in a stable Pachyderm Ganesh man! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Obvious Posted May 12, 2007 Report Share Posted May 12, 2007 Re: Ten Spider-Man Appearances That Will Never Hit Hollywood That is the first evidence I've seen on the internet that The Electric Company ever existed. I've been looking too. I think Morgan Freeman is trying to cover his embarrassing early days in show business. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lapsedgamer Posted May 12, 2007 Report Share Posted May 12, 2007 Re: Ten Spider-Man Appearances That Will Never Hit Hollywood Ganesh man Ganesh Man Does whatever a Ganesh can Eats a bun, with his nose Forgets nothing, we suppose Look out Here comes the Ganesh Man Is he strong? Listen punk He's got a prehensile trunk! Can he squirt Water through it Check it out, nothing to it! In the heat or chill When there's trees to move Like a walking hill His strength he'll prove Ganesh Man Ganesh Man One-Tusked Hindu Ganesh Man On their shoulders Lifted High Hernias He'll supply No sir, he isn't just a fable And he sleeps in a stable Pachyderm Ganesh man! Repped Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lapsedgamer Posted May 12, 2007 Report Share Posted May 12, 2007 Re: Ten Spider-Man Appearances That Will Never Hit Hollywood That is the first evidence I've seen on the internet that The Electric Company ever existed. I've been looking too. I think Morgan Freeman is trying to cover his embarrassing early days in show business. I grew up watching those shows on Channel 13 in New York. That was actually kind of a nostalgic moment there. I note the blogger made a comment about the narrator's accent. Obviously, he has never been to New York. That kid's accent was mild by comparison. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zeropoint Posted May 13, 2007 Report Share Posted May 13, 2007 Re: Ten Spider-Man Appearances That Will Never Hit Hollywood I remember seeing that very episode of that show. Kids entertainment was pretty good back in the day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemphyre Posted May 14, 2007 Report Share Posted May 14, 2007 Re: Ten Spider-Man Appearances That Will Never Hit Hollywood Long after humans succumb to self-induced extinction, alien anthropologists are going to visit Earth and come to an obvious conclusion: Spider-Man was our God. Even if you discount the unholy rotten truckloads of Slurpee cups and action figures used to market the films, Spider-Man's so much a part of our collective consciousness that he may as well be a God -- we use the story to tell moral fables and ... forget it. Just forget it. I was trying to put an intellectual spin on everything here, but the fact is that I'm a nerd and way more stoked about Spider-Man 3 than an adult should be. The whole point of life is to be excited about stuff, as excited as you can be, and I'm trying my damnedest to access the passion I felt for Spider-Man as a kid. It's working pretty well, too. So instead of inflating this post with a bunch of pseudo-intellectual nonsense, I'll get to the nerdy fun. Here's ten incarnations of Spider-Man that will never, ever make it into a movie: http://andiamnotlyingforreal.blogspo...that-will.html http://andiamnotlyingforreal.blogspot.com/2007/05/ten-spider-man-appearances-that-will.html OK. I have just been watching those clips, and I have a question about the Japanese one that I have yet to see asked. When the H*LL did Spidey get a GIANT ROBOT???? Gemphyre Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted May 14, 2007 Report Share Posted May 14, 2007 Re: Ten Spider-Man Appearances That Will Never Hit Hollywood OK. I have just been watching those clips, and I have a question about the Japanese one that I have yet to see asked. When the H*LL did Spidey get a GIANT ROBOT???? Gemphyre At that time, everyone in Japan had a giant robot. It was the law. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemphyre Posted May 14, 2007 Report Share Posted May 14, 2007 Re: Ten Spider-Man Appearances That Will Never Hit Hollywood At that time' date=' [i']everyone [/i]in Japan had a giant robot. It was the law. I know. I am a big fan of anime myself, and I have seen quite a number of shows from that time period. The Giant Robot was, and still is really, the first choice in combat against the main bad guy if at all possible. Spidey is just seems to be one of the least likely heros to have one, and completely out of character for him. Reed Richards and Iron Man would both build their own without a problem, and Captain America would get a Star Spangled Robot from the military. But perpetually broke Spidey living with his Aunt May? Sure, he could build one, but where would he get the parts? (Quick answer, from the remains of other robots that were destroyed by the FF, Cap, and Iron Man. All they would need is a new paint job. ) Gemphyre Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lapsedgamer Posted May 14, 2007 Report Share Posted May 14, 2007 Re: Ten Spider-Man Appearances That Will Never Hit Hollywood I know. I am a big fan of anime myself, and I have seen quite a number of shows from that time period. The Giant Robot was, and still is really, the first choice in combat against the main bad guy if at all possible. Spidey is just seems to be one of the least likely heros to have one, and completely out of character for him. Reed Richards and Iron Man would both build their own without a problem, and Captain America would get a Star Spangled Robot from the military. But perpetually broke Spidey living with his Aunt May? Sure, he could build one, but where would he get the parts? (Quick answer, from the remains of other robots that were destroyed by the FF, Cap, and Iron Man. All they would need is a new paint job. ) Gemphyre Okay then, how did he get the parts for that damn wall-crawling dune buggy then? Am I the only one who remembers that abomination? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Balabanto Posted May 14, 2007 Report Share Posted May 14, 2007 Re: Ten Spider-Man Appearances That Will Never Hit Hollywood It was built for him by an old guy. A guy who turned out to be THE TINKERER! His ENEMY built it to lure him into a false sense of security and then KILL him. I thought it was a pretty good plan, myself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lapsedgamer Posted May 14, 2007 Report Share Posted May 14, 2007 Re: Ten Spider-Man Appearances That Will Never Hit Hollywood It was built for him by an old guy. A guy who turned out to be THE TINKERER! His ENEMY built it to lure him into a false sense of security and then KILL him. I thought it was a pretty good plan, myself. I never read the books where it appeared. I remember looking at the cover and thinking it was a stupid idea. I was like ten or something. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gideon Posted May 14, 2007 Report Share Posted May 14, 2007 Re: Ten Spider-Man Appearances That Will Never Hit Hollywood I personally found nothing on that page more distubing than: Spider-Man Tag Teams With Lou Albano if you didn't you should read the whole story http://www.alanhunt.ca/images/nagraj/pages/1nag_jpg.htm I found the ending... well... lets say a bit distatefull. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doug Limmer Posted May 14, 2007 Report Share Posted May 14, 2007 Re: Ten Spider-Man Appearances That Will Never Hit Hollywood I found the ending... well... lets say a bit distatefull.But ... how do you stop a giant, invulnerable, magically-enraged Lou Albano? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Armitage Posted May 15, 2007 Report Share Posted May 15, 2007 Re: Ten Spider-Man Appearances That Will Never Hit Hollywood Spidey is just seems to be one of the least likely heros to have one' date=' and completely out of character for him. Reed Richards and Iron Man would both build their own without a problem, and Captain America would get a Star Spangled Robot from the military. But perpetually broke Spidey living with his Aunt May? Sure, he could build one, but where would he get the parts?[/quote'] As I recall, Japanese Spider-Man got his powers from an alien and the robot was the transformed version of the alien's ship. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gideon Posted May 15, 2007 Report Share Posted May 15, 2007 Re: Ten Spider-Man Appearances That Will Never Hit Hollywood But ... how do you stop a giant' date=' invulnerable, magically-enraged Lou Albano?[/quote'] Actually (not to sound overly serious about this) I was mostly refering to the first panel of the last page. The one where Superman, Spiderman, Batman, and Nagraj are all laughing at the fact that it was Nagraj and not Superman who killed Captain Lou. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susano Posted May 15, 2007 Author Report Share Posted May 15, 2007 Re: Ten Spider-Man Appearances That Will Never Hit Hollywood Actually (not to sound overly serious about this) I was mostly refering to the first panel of the last page. The one where Superman, Spiderman, Batman, and Nagraj are all laughing at the fact that it was Nagraj and not Superman who killed Captain Lou. I noticed it went from "He's my friend" to "He's got to die" pretty quick. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Obvious Posted May 15, 2007 Report Share Posted May 15, 2007 Re: Ten Spider-Man Appearances That Will Never Hit Hollywood I noticed it went from "He's my friend" to "He's got to die" pretty quick. That's one of the dangers of being a pro wrestler. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted May 15, 2007 Report Share Posted May 15, 2007 Re: Ten Spider-Man Appearances That Will Never Hit Hollywood But ... how do you stop a giant' date=' invulnerable, magically-enraged Lou Albano?[/quote'] I wake up and swear that I'll never wash down a bag of Chips Ahoy with Bud Light before bedtime again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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