Jokes

[BoloOfEarth]

Not a joke, but a (hopefully) amusing anecdote.

 

Back in the late 1980s, I was working at a furniture store handing purchase orders (including orders for specific pieces of furniture not normally carried in our store).  It didn't take long to develop a sense for which customers were going to be difficult and which ones weren't.  To help me in case I got a call from one of the former kind, I would write "PITA" in an unobtrusive place on the order form for the more difficult customers.

 

One day, my boss came to my desk, asked for one of the purchase orders, and walked away (presumably to talk to the customer about their order).  When he came back, he asked "What does this mean?" and pointed at my "PITA" notation.

 

I asked, "It depends.  Are you asking, or the customer?"   He said, "Let's say it was the customer."  So I said, "It means Priority One, Take At Once."

 

"And if I'm the one asking?"

 

"Then it means Pain In The ***."   He chuckled and walked away.  

 

A week or so later, I was entering a new purchase order into the computer, and saw "PITA" written in the corner... and not in my handwriting.

[Bazza]

Do lizards ever look at snakes and be like "Lieutenant Dan!"

[Bazza]

Just heard a British person call Oreos "chocolate sandwich biscuits" and I finally understand why the Revolutionary War had to happen.

[Ockham's Spoon]

A guy has a life long dream to run a zoo, but he could only afford one animal - a small dog.

It's a shih tzu.

[Bazza]

OMG I just found out that Albert Einstein was a real person!! All this time I thought he was a theoretical physicist.

[Pariah]

Fun fact: "T-shirt" actually stands for "tyrannosaurus shirt".

(It's because of the short arms.)

[Bazza]

If a tree falls on your ex in the woods and nobody is around to hear it, you should still probably get rid of the chainsaw.

[Pariah]

On 6/28/2024 at 2:39 PM, Pariah said:

What do you call an Englishman in the knockout stages of the Euros? 

 

  Reveal hidden contents

Spectator.

 

 

On 6/30/2024 at 4:07 PM, death tribble said:

The Metallica song comes to mind

'Sad but True'

 

England are in the semis? What manner of alternate universe have I awakened in?

[death tribble]

Bizarroworld

[Bazza]

34 minutes ago, Pariah said:

 

 

England are in the semis? What manner of alternate universe have I awakened in?

You jinxed it. 

[Pariah]

Have you heard about the tomb of Vladimir Lenin?

 

It's a communist plot.