Bazza Posted Sunday at 11:52 PM Report Share Posted Sunday at 11:52 PM (edited) Wisdom comes with age. Therefore I don't have wrinkles, I have wisecracks. Edited Sunday at 11:57 PM by Bazza Ockham's Spoon, Christougher and BoloOfEarth 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted Sunday at 11:58 PM Report Share Posted Sunday at 11:58 PM I love going outdoors. It's much safer than going outwindows. Ockham's Spoon 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted Monday at 12:04 AM Report Share Posted Monday at 12:04 AM Dear July, I don't want any trouble from you. Just come in, sit down, don't touch anything, and keep your mouth shut. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dmjalund Posted Monday at 12:24 AM Report Share Posted Monday at 12:24 AM 24 minutes ago, Bazza said: I love going outdoors. It's much safer than going outwindows. self defenestration is a thing Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mattingly Posted Monday at 11:11 AM Report Share Posted Monday at 11:11 AM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mattingly Posted Monday at 12:12 PM Report Share Posted Monday at 12:12 PM Pariah, Ockham's Spoon and Logan D. Hurricanes 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted Monday at 12:32 PM Report Share Posted Monday at 12:32 PM If you look up the word Procrastinator in Wikipedia, you'll find my picture. Well it isn't there yet but I'll put it on there eventually. Pariah and Ockham's Spoon 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted Monday at 02:59 PM Report Share Posted Monday at 02:59 PM 15 hours ago, Bazza said: I love going outdoors. It's much safer than going outwindows. "I was born by Cesarean section, but you can't really tell. Except that when I leave my house, I always go out the window." ~Steven Wright Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted Monday at 03:26 PM Report Share Posted Monday at 03:26 PM Somebody stole my car last night. At first I was going to call the police, but then I thought to myself, Screw it. Let that guy explain the body in the trunk. BoloOfEarth 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted Monday at 07:51 PM Report Share Posted Monday at 07:51 PM That would make an interesting film. I imagine a comedy with Frank Drebin investigating why the body is in the boot (trunk) of the car. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slikmar Posted Tuesday at 01:27 AM Report Share Posted Tuesday at 01:27 AM Isn't that sort of the film Repo Man, only mystery blue box? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mattingly Posted Tuesday at 06:27 PM Report Share Posted Tuesday at 06:27 PM BoloOfEarth and Pariah 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted Tuesday at 07:21 PM Report Share Posted Tuesday at 07:21 PM I was talking with one of my students one time and they told me they had received a poor grade on their report about Australian Aboriginal music. I asked, "Didja redo it?" mattingly 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted Tuesday at 07:32 PM Report Share Posted Tuesday at 07:32 PM Groan ( ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted Tuesday at 11:35 PM Report Share Posted Tuesday at 11:35 PM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted yesterday at 12:30 AM Report Share Posted yesterday at 12:30 AM THANKS FOR TEACHING THE ME MEANING OF -PLETHORA- IT MEANS A LOT. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted yesterday at 12:35 AM Report Share Posted yesterday at 12:35 AM HIDING FROM WIFE Bar Call Answering Rates $1 "He's not here" $2 "He just left" $3 "Had 1 drink and left” $4 "Haven't seem him all day” $5 "Never heard of him" (Please inform bartender upon arrival) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted yesterday at 12:41 AM Report Share Posted yesterday at 12:41 AM (edited) Whenever I tell someone where I live and they say, "omg that's so far". I'm like “calm down I'm not inviting you over.” Edited yesterday at 12:44 AM by Bazza slikmar, Rails and Ockham's Spoon 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted yesterday at 12:48 AM Report Share Posted yesterday at 12:48 AM I've got to stop saying "How stupid can you be”. Too many people are taking it as a challenge. slikmar, Rails and BoloOfEarth 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted yesterday at 12:54 AM Report Share Posted yesterday at 12:54 AM PASTOR: "BROTHER, YOU NEED TO JOIN THE ARMY OF THE LORD.” ME. "IM ALREADY ENLISTED!" PASTOR: "BUT I DON'T SEE YOU ON SUNDAYS?!" ME: "I'M IN THE SECRET SERVCE!” Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted yesterday at 12:59 AM Report Share Posted yesterday at 12:59 AM The coffee shop had a sign that said' "No WiFi, pretend it's 1973!" So, I paid 10¢ for my coffee and lit a cigarette. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted yesterday at 01:06 AM Report Share Posted yesterday at 01:06 AM If I win the lottery, nobody around me will be poor, and I mean that. I will move to a rich neighbourhood. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ockham's Spoon Posted yesterday at 02:13 AM Report Share Posted yesterday at 02:13 AM There once was a very rich man. Unfortunately he got cancer. He spent a fortune trying to find a cure but unfortunately it was not to be. Near his final days, he ended up in the hospital as the family was called in to say goodbye. The old gent asked for two things. One was he wanted to die in his own bed, not in the hospital. Of course that could be arranged. The second was that he wanted as much money as could be put into cash to be put into giant bags to put over his bed. So as he passed away, he could grab a couple on the way up to heaven. As soon as he said this, his wife asked everyone to leave and the entire staff of the hospital could hear them screaming at each other for over an hour. When it all calmed down, the wife said “Fine, we will do what he said, he won’t listen to reason!” So, the dying wish was fulfilled. So much cash was put in the attic that they had to re-enforce the ceiling over the bed. One night, the man passed away. And, his adult children quickly rushed upstairs to check on the cash. But the mother didn’t move. After several hours, her children came down and told him that father had not managed to grab even a single penny from the horde. The mother just sighed and said, “I know. I told the fool to put it in the basement.” Pariah, slikmar and Logan D. Hurricanes 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted 23 hours ago Report Share Posted 23 hours ago I think it's time we all acknowledged Pokemon for what it really is: a gateway into the world of dogfighting for young people. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted 23 hours ago Report Share Posted 23 hours ago A duck was standing at the side of the road, waiting for an opportunity to cross. Just as he was about to go, he was stopped by a chicken. The chicken said, "Don't do it, man. You'll never hear the end of it." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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