Logan D. Hurricanes Posted August 18, 2022 Report Share Posted August 18, 2022 It’s really hard to say what my wife does for a living. She sells sea shells on the sea shore. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted August 18, 2022 Report Share Posted August 18, 2022 When she sells sea shells by the sea shore, does she give a little wave? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted August 18, 2022 Report Share Posted August 18, 2022 I think she's a sandbagger. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted August 18, 2022 Report Share Posted August 18, 2022 I am trying to convince my dad to get a new hearing aid. But he just won't listen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted August 18, 2022 Report Share Posted August 18, 2022 My teacher always said not to worry about correct spelling, because we have autocorrect. And for that I am infernally grapefruit. Ockham's Spoon 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ockham's Spoon Posted August 18, 2022 Report Share Posted August 18, 2022 I am trying to re-home a dog. It is a small terrier, and it tends to bark a lot. If you're interested, let me know and I will jump my neighbor's fence and get it for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ockham's Spoon Posted August 20, 2022 Report Share Posted August 20, 2022 The expression in the American south "sweet Jesus" implies the existence of umami Jesus, sour Jesus, bitter Jesus, spicy Jesus, salty Jesus. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted August 20, 2022 Report Share Posted August 20, 2022 Only if one is into cannibalism with 11 different herbs and spices. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ockham's Spoon Posted August 20, 2022 Report Share Posted August 20, 2022 I would completely understand Jesus being bitter or sour. But I think collective humanity really needs a kick in the pants, what we need is salty Jesus. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted August 20, 2022 Report Share Posted August 20, 2022 We got him. You need to read him more, particularly the episode with the money lenders. There is your salty Jesus. Pariah 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkdguy Posted August 21, 2022 Report Share Posted August 21, 2022 13 hours ago, Ockham's Spoon said: The expression in the American south "sweet Jesus" implies the existence of umami Jesus, sour Jesus, bitter Jesus, spicy Jesus, salty Jesus. My sister's response to the joke was to tell you, "Thanks, I hate it." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ockham's Spoon Posted August 21, 2022 Report Share Posted August 21, 2022 12 hours ago, Bazza said: We got him. You need to read him more, particularly the episode with the money lenders. There is your salty Jesus. Oh, we know he can be salty, we just need to pay more attention to those parts. Pariah 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted August 21, 2022 Report Share Posted August 21, 2022 Why? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ockham's Spoon Posted August 21, 2022 Report Share Posted August 21, 2022 Because when most of the time Jesus is being salty, he is pointing out hypocrisy, which seems to have become a staple of a lot of our politics. People won't admit their views are inconsistent, they just double-down and substitute rage for reason. Salty Jesus wouldn't stand for that. Pariah 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted August 21, 2022 Report Share Posted August 21, 2022 You mean ppl don’t follow the Law of Contradiction? Shocked I am. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hugh Neilson Posted August 21, 2022 Report Share Posted August 21, 2022 The politicians and most religious leaders did not like Him then, and they would not like Him now. Pariah and Ockham's Spoon 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted August 22, 2022 Report Share Posted August 22, 2022 { Moved to the Politics thread. } Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted August 22, 2022 Report Share Posted August 22, 2022 Investigator: "How did your husband die?" Woman: "He was poisoned." Investigator: "But there were bruises all over his body." Woman: "Well, he didn't want to take it." wcw43921 and Logan D. Hurricanes 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted August 22, 2022 Report Share Posted August 22, 2022 I haven't spoken to my wife in 7 years. I don't want to interrupt her. Rails and Pariah 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted August 22, 2022 Report Share Posted August 22, 2022 I wonder if aliens drive by Earth and lock their doors. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted August 22, 2022 Report Share Posted August 22, 2022 slikmar 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted August 23, 2022 Report Share Posted August 23, 2022 When does a joke become a dad joke? Spoiler When it goes out for cigarettes and never comes back. Logan D. Hurricanes 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted August 23, 2022 Report Share Posted August 23, 2022 Pariah 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Logan D. Hurricanes Posted August 26, 2022 Report Share Posted August 26, 2022 I have a disease where I can’t stop telling airport jokes. My doctor says it’s terminal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted August 26, 2022 Report Share Posted August 26, 2022 Becky: "Hey, this candle smells like Fireball!" Gina: "Or, as we non-alcoholics usually call it, cinnamon." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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