Pariah Posted March 27, 2011 Report Share Posted March 27, 2011 Re: Jokes Or in any store on Sunday. I have no idea what you're talking about. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tim Posted March 27, 2011 Report Share Posted March 27, 2011 Re: Jokes Jesus Saves. And takes half damage. Nah, Jesus has evasion. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xavier Onassiss Posted March 27, 2011 Report Share Posted March 27, 2011 Re: Jokes Two simple rules for always getting what you want: 1. Never tell everything that you know. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shadow Hawk Posted March 27, 2011 Report Share Posted March 27, 2011 Re: Jokes The laws of pillaging: 1. Anything not nailed down is MINE! 2. If I can pry it loose, it wasn't nailed down. 3. Pillage first, then burn. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Narf the Mouse Posted March 29, 2011 Report Share Posted March 29, 2011 Re: Jokes Warning: Potentially offensive to those with no sense of humour, or not a particular sense of humour. What did the hungry cannibal sing? "Mayo, maaayo, daylight come and me want a thigh-bone." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted March 29, 2011 Report Share Posted March 29, 2011 Re: Jokes Warning: This one is in rather poor taste (but not in a cannibalistic way). Q - What's pink and red and won't fit through a revolving door? A - Dolores Umbridge impaled on a spear. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ian Mackinder Posted March 29, 2011 Report Share Posted March 29, 2011 Re: Jokes Works for me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Narf the Mouse Posted March 29, 2011 Report Share Posted March 29, 2011 Re: Jokes Warning: This one is in rather poor taste (but not in a cannibalistic way). Q - What's pink and red and won't fit through a revolving door? A - Dolores Umbridge impaled on a spear. That's in terrible taste! I mean, she'd taste terrible! Same thing, right? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SSgt Baloo Posted March 29, 2011 Report Share Posted March 29, 2011 Re: Jokes Two cannibals sit down to lunch. One gives out with a heavy sigh. His bud asks: "What's wrong?" "Oh, I just HATE my mother-in-law!" "So? Then just eat the vegetables." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkdguy Posted March 29, 2011 Report Share Posted March 29, 2011 Re: Jokes Warning: This one is in rather poor taste (but not in a cannibalistic way). Q - What's pink and red and won't fit through a revolving door? A - Dolores Umbridge impaled on a spear. Who? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Narf the Mouse Posted March 29, 2011 Report Share Posted March 29, 2011 Re: Jokes Who? Character in the Harry Potter series. Government-sponsored schoolteacher who gets away with torture of children. For a while. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SteveZilla Posted March 29, 2011 Report Share Posted March 29, 2011 Re: Jokes Character in the Harry Potter series. Government-sponsored schoolteacher who gets away with torture of children. For a while. Oh, the one that always dressed completely in pink, iirc? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SteveZilla Posted March 29, 2011 Report Share Posted March 29, 2011 Re: Jokes Nah' date=' Jesus has evasion.[/quote'] But apparently his DR is not vs Piercing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted March 29, 2011 Report Share Posted March 29, 2011 Re: Jokes Three Universal Truths: The Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the head of the church. Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store. Actually the Jews did recognize Jesus as the Messiah. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SSgt Baloo Posted March 29, 2011 Report Share Posted March 29, 2011 Re: Jokes Actually the Jews did recognize Jesus as the Messiah. Not just now, they don't. In fact, a belief in Jesus as the Messiah, by definition, means the believer is not a Jew, except possibly by descent (in every Jewish sect I am aware of). I figure it's a non-issue. When the Messiah comes, it won't matter what his given name is. [/tangent] I'm all outta jokes right now, so I'll come back later when I've got one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted March 30, 2011 Report Share Posted March 30, 2011 Re: Jokes Not just now' date=' they don't. In fact, a belief in Jesus as the Messiah, by definition, means the believer is [i']not [/i]a Jew, except possibly by descent (in every Jewish sect I am aware of). I figure it's a non-issue. When the Messiah comes, it won't matter what his given name is. [/tangent] I'm all outta jokes right now, so I'll come back later when I've got one. After thinking about it, and potentially loosing some sleep, I've come to realize my statement is not untrue -- it has selective truth (happy to discuss more in a PM) Joke time : There once was a chicken that wanted to cross the road. On the other side of the road was a man. The chicken asked who are you? The man replied "Bond, James Bond.:" The man then asked the chicken, "who are you?" The chicken replied "Ken, Chick Ken" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mattingly Posted April 3, 2011 Report Share Posted April 3, 2011 Re: Jokes My friend just hired an Eastern European cleaner. It took her five hours to hoover the house. Turns out she was a Slovak. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mattingly Posted April 3, 2011 Report Share Posted April 3, 2011 Re: Jokes I've been charged with murder for killing a man with sandpaper. To be honest I only intended to rough him up a bit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nevelon Posted April 3, 2011 Report Share Posted April 3, 2011 Re: Jokes I've been charged with murder for killing a man with sandpaper. To be honest I only intended to rough him up a bit. If you had used a finer grit, you could have been a smooth criminal... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted April 3, 2011 Report Share Posted April 3, 2011 Re: Jokes Jokes like that just rub me the wrong way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Querysphinx Posted April 4, 2011 Report Share Posted April 4, 2011 Re: Jokes Jokes like that just rub me the wrong way. It's the gritty realism, isn't it? Sands to reason. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shadow Hawk Posted April 4, 2011 Report Share Posted April 4, 2011 Re: Jokes What do you call someone who likes to hang out with musicians? A Drummer! Hey, did you hear about the drummer who finished high school? Me neither. How is a drum solo like a sneeze? You can tell it's coming, but you can't do anything about it. Did you hear about the drummer who went to college? Me neither. How do you get a drummer off your porch? Pay him for the pizza. What does the average drummer get on an IQ test? Drool. Did you hear about the drummer who got accepted to Yale? Neither did I. If your enemy wrongs you, buy his children drums. - Chinese Saying Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted April 4, 2011 Report Share Posted April 4, 2011 Re: Jokes You really beat that idea to death, didn't you? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Obvious Posted April 4, 2011 Report Share Posted April 4, 2011 Re: Jokes In regards to the drummer thing, no one's really neutral on the matter. You're either rhythm or against 'em. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darbor Posted April 5, 2011 Report Share Posted April 5, 2011 Re: Jokes In regards to the drummer thing' date=' no one's really neutral on the matter. You're either rhythm or against 'em.[/quote'] You snared me with that one, I didn't see it coming. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.