teh bunneh Posted October 6, 2008 Report Share Posted October 6, 2008 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... From our D&D4 game... Dramatis Personae: Kaliope: Snarky tiefling warlock (played by me) Shale: Charismatic human warlord (played by Lonewalker) Aurora: Good-hearted halfelf paladin (played by my lovely bunny wife) Ongoron: Dragonborn meatshield fighter (GMPC) Rathgar: Doughty dwarf ranger (played by Ron, after his cleric died last week) Kiplokee: Idiot halfling rogue (not played this week 'cause his player was out of town) Kaliope lets the party's thief take our dead cleric's gear back to town (AKA loot the body and run away)... Shale: Since when did you become the trusting type? Kaliope: I'm not. I'm the apathetic type. I just didn't care enough to stop him. Ongoron: Kaliope's alignment is apparently "Chaotic Sarcastic" The elf ranger makes a fantastic acrobatics roll... Delnir: The elf runs up the wall and crosses the pit without any trouble. Kaliope: F***ing twink elf. The warlock gets bonuses when someone she's cursed dies: Kaliope: Hey Aurora, would you mind if I curse you before you try to jump over the pit? Ongoron is on the wrong side of a cave-in: Shale: It should take us about 15 minutes to dig through. How many rounds can you hold the monster off? Ongoron: I'm no good with math, but if my calculations are correct, f*** you! Shale: OK, try not to die until we get there! Ongoron: Yeah. OK. Thanks. I won't. Our dragonborn is on one side of a pit, our warlord is on the other... Ongoron: You're on the wrong side of the pit. Shale: You'll notice that you're on the side of the pit with all the monsters, and I'm on the side of the pit with all the hot chicks. Ongoron: Oh. Yeah. Shale: I'm the tactician, remember? Kaliope decides to join the fight: Kaliope: I teleport over the pit next to the dragonborn. Shale: What if the ooze splits again? You'll be stuck over there! Kaliope: Eh. I've got like three Defenders on this side with me. I'm cool. Ongoron: Geez, she's gotten cocky. Shale: Gotten??? Kaliope foolishly gets close to the action: Ongoron: Why the hell did you teleport up into melee range? Kaliope: I thought you needed some moral support! Ongoron: OK, here's the deal. Number one, it doesn't support me when you make my job harder,and number two, it doesn't support me when you harrass me while making my job harder. We're fighting... a room full of mushrooms. Rathgar: Great, we all rolled awesome initiative... against the completely sessile opponents. Our fighter gets knocked out: Ongoron: So is someone gonna heal my dead ass, or what? Our fighter gets knocked out again: Kaliope: See? I told you I should've cursed him when this fight started! We're fighting a room full of dire wolves... Kaliope: I attack the white wolf. Because I'm sick to death of that whiny emo "Oh I have supernatural powers and immortality, woe is me!" crap. And if I have to listen to that Fallout Boy CD one more time...! Taking advantage of the strange rules for moving on a grid map: Ongoron: I move at nothing but 45 degree angles... because it's faster. Rathgar: Has the ranger been injured? Delnir: Nope. She's a smart ranged fighter. She stays out of hand-to-hand combat. :duh: Someone does something stupid: Kaliope: Ah, Kip. Even when he's not here, his idiocy still pervades the air. Shale: I use my Furious Smash power! Kaliope: What's that do? Ongoron: It smashes stuff. Shale: Furiously. Our ranger got bit by a werewolf and she's slowly starting to turn... Kaliope: We put a ball gag in her mouth so she doesn't bite anyone. Shale: What the hell are you doing with a ball gag??? Kaliope: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susano Posted October 6, 2008 Report Share Posted October 6, 2008 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... From our D&D4 game... Dramatis Personae: Kaliope: Snarky tiefling warlock (played by me) Shale: Charismatic human warlord (played by Lonewalker) Aurora: Good-hearted halfelf paladin (played by my lovely bunny wife) Ongoron: Dragonborn meatshield fighter (GMPC) Rathgar: Doughty dwarf ranger (played by Ron, after his cleric died last week) Kiplokee: Idiot halfling rogue (not played this week 'cause his player was out of town) Kaliope lets the party's thief take our dead cleric's gear back to town (AKA loot the body and run away)... Shale: Since when did you become the trusting type? Kaliope: I'm not. I'm the apathetic type. I just didn't care enough to stop him. Ongoron: Kaliope's alignment is apparently "Chaotic Sarcastic" The elf ranger makes a fantastic acrobatics roll... Delnir: The elf runs up the wall and crosses the pit without any trouble. Kaliope: F***ing twink elf. The warlock gets bonuses when someone she's cursed dies: Kaliope: Hey Aurora, would you mind if I curse you before you try to jump over the pit? Ongoron is on the wrong side of a cave-in: Shale: It should take us about 15 minutes to dig through. How many rounds can you hold the monster off? Ongoron: I'm no good with math, but if my calculations are correct, f*** you! Shale: OK, try not to die until we get there! Ongoron: Yeah. OK. Thanks. I won't. Our dragonborn is on one side of a pit, our warlord is on the other... Ongoron: You're on the wrong side of the pit. Shale: You'll notice that you're on the side of the pit with all the monsters, and I'm on the side of the pit with all the hot chicks. Ongoron: Oh. Yeah. Shale: I'm the tactician, remember? Kaliope decides to join the fight: Kaliope: I teleport over the pit next to the dragonborn. Shale: What if the ooze splits again? You'll be stuck over there! Kaliope: Eh. I've got like three Defenders on this side with me. I'm cool. Ongoron: Geez, she's gotten cocky. Shale: Gotten??? Kaliope foolishly gets close to the action: Ongoron: Why the hell did you teleport up into melee range? Kaliope: I thought you needed some moral support! Ongoron: OK, here's the deal. Number one, it doesn't support me when you make my job harder,and number two, it doesn't support me when you harrass me while making my job harder. We're fighting... a room full of mushrooms. Rathgar: Great, we all rolled awesome initiative... against the completely sessile opponents. Our fighter gets knocked out: Ongoron: So is someone gonna heal my dead ass, or what? Our fighter gets knocked out again: Kaliope: See? I told you I should've cursed him when this fight started! We're fighting a room full of dire wolves... Kaliope: I attack the white wolf. Because I'm sick to death of that whiny emo "Oh I have supernatural powers and immortality, woe is me!" crap. And if I have to listen to that Fallout Boy CD one more time...! Taking advantage of the strange rules for moving on a grid map: Ongoron: I move at nothing but 45 degree angles... because it's faster. Rathgar: Has the ranger been injured? Delnir: Nope. She's a smart ranged fighter. She stays out of hand-to-hand combat. :duh: Someone does something stupid: Kaliope: Ah, Kip. Even when he's not here, his idiocy still pervades the air. Shale: I use my Furious Smash power! Kaliope: What's that do? Ongoron: It smashes stuff. Shale: Furiously. Our ranger got bit by a werewolf and she's slowly starting to turn... Kaliope: We put a ball gag in her mouth so she doesn't bite anyone. Shale: What the hell are you doing with a ball gag??? Kaliope: I take you guys are playing this 'old school'? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teh bunneh Posted October 6, 2008 Report Share Posted October 6, 2008 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... I take you guys are playing this 'old school'? Old school as in "Go underground, kill the uggos, and steal their shinies," yeah. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susano Posted October 6, 2008 Report Share Posted October 6, 2008 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Old school as in "Go underground' date=' kill the uggos, and steal their shinies," yeah. [/quote'] Character development is for those White Wolf emo-types! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Houston GM Posted October 6, 2008 Report Share Posted October 6, 2008 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... The campaign is teen superheroes in a post-alien-invasion world. Otter: "I've noticed that people never talk about 'UFOs' anymore." The PCs are assisting an operative in the Metahuman Resistance (Swift). Two of the teens (Angela & Otter) get to the rendevous ahead of the others. They decide they'll look less conspicuous if they're making out like normal teens. ... but they don't stop when the others arrive. Angela takes a break from kissing Otter and looks at Swift... Angela: "We thought we would look less suspicious this way. Do you think it's too much?" Swift: "Yeah" (pause) "You'll get better results if you use less tongue." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Manic Typist Posted October 7, 2008 Report Share Posted October 7, 2008 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... GM: You guys do remember that you just have to get into the base without being seen right? Not onto the continent. I was almost thankful that the Russian Mob decided to attack at that moment. I didn't want to hear Drifter's answer to the GM's question. ...why don't they have to get onto the continent? That's no small feat... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Haerandir Posted October 7, 2008 Report Share Posted October 7, 2008 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... I think he meant they don't have to get to Antarctica secretly. Lots of people go to Antarctica. My Aunt Jeannie's been there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
csyphrett Posted October 7, 2008 Report Share Posted October 7, 2008 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... OCC chatter from teen guardians.CES Nah, they couldn't think I'm Inferno... I'm not on fire and I'm not naked! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nerdnumber1 Posted October 7, 2008 Report Share Posted October 7, 2008 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... OCC chatter from teen guardians.CES Nah, they couldn't think I'm Inferno... I'm not on fire and I'm not naked! If having glasses on protects your secret ID then I guess pants would probably work too. My GM played the glasses card too. A while after fighting Cataran, the player started a relationship with a Scotish girl named Heather. The GM forgot about his targeting, discriminatory, and analyze on almost all his senses (all that and tracking on his scent) at 18-. Despite grapling with her in, and out , of hero ID, his character apparently couldn't tell (every player in the group could easily tell and the GM would never let us get away with a stunt like that, but oh well). paraphrased GM: "But Heather wears glasses, she couldn't be Cateran Me (other player in group, ooc): Didn't she take them off at least once during one of their "sleep-overs?" GM: (invoked the I don't care, I'm the GM, this is more interesting) Luckily, the player agreed, especially because his Hero ID is a slime with no similarity in appearance to his normal ID (though most of his stats and senses work out of Hero ID), making discovery improbable and danger minimal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghost-angel Posted October 10, 2008 Report Share Posted October 10, 2008 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... This weeks Defenders. The group is based in NYC. Enigma: I think if I can get the teleport to work to get us to Central America a building in Jersey is A-OK. Upon reading a scathing article calling Dr. Destroyer worse than Foxbat. Inertia: I use my immediate action to head-desk. Inertia: You don't have a silence spell? Enigma: I hadn't thought of needing one until now. Built-To-Last and Enigma have decided to combine their strength to kick in a door - mostly to see how far they can kick it. Inertia: What's the plan? Built To Last: Right now, property damage. Inertia: That's not fair! I have to act FOUR TIMES before you do! The villains have just rendered our heros (mostly) powerless. We scramble to think of possible actions - most of them err on Excessively Violent despite being out numbered by men with automatic weapons and having no powers. GM: I'm not going to get to exposition am I? [he did.] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
input.jack Posted October 10, 2008 Report Share Posted October 10, 2008 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... GM: I'm not going to get to exposition am I? [he did.] Sometimes a GM has to let the exposition go, and settle for explosion Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Weapon Posted October 10, 2008 Report Share Posted October 10, 2008 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... If having glasses on protects your secret ID then I guess pants would probably work too. My GM played the glasses card too. A while after fighting Cataran, the player started a relationship with a Scotish girl named Heather. The GM forgot about his targeting, discriminatory, and analyze on almost all his senses (all that and tracking on his scent) at 18-. Despite grapling with her in, and out , of hero ID, his character apparently couldn't tell (every player in the group could easily tell and the GM would never let us get away with a stunt like that, but oh well). paraphrased GM: "But Heather wears glasses, she couldn't be Cateran Me (other player in group, ooc): Didn't she take them off at least once during one of their "sleep-overs?" And lose the "sexy librarian" look? GM: (invoked the I don't care, I'm the GM, this is more interesting) Luckily, the player agreed, especially because his Hero ID is a slime with no similarity in appearance to his normal ID (though most of his stats and senses work out of Hero ID), making discovery improbable and danger minimal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NestorDRod Posted October 10, 2008 Report Share Posted October 10, 2008 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... And lose the "sexy librarian" look? "Empowered" reference FTW! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Egyptoid Posted October 10, 2008 Report Share Posted October 10, 2008 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... "Pigeons is just Air-Rats, ye know" "Many people will stop to smell the roses, the High Evolutionary will stop to dismantle the roses." Power-Man: you folks are cleaning up the earth and you haven't gone to America Yet !?! Starfox: Well we did do some looting in San Francisco... Power-Man: What the heck is wrong with you people ?!? High Evo: we were going in alpha order... Power Man: aint you curious about New York city ? Starfox: he's right, we need to investigate Vegas, and New York did have the finest discos in the world... Power Man: Sweet Christmas! Box: how did you identify the stow-away ? High Evo: Starfox did not find her attractive Plus many times that night the GM said ACTUATION roll instead of ACTIVATION roll. Many players wanted this since it seemed to imply that if a power didnt work there would be an insurance payoff. Katana Girl Akani: Hundred dollar say Stah-fox forget to apologize to Magician. - Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
input.jack Posted October 11, 2008 Report Share Posted October 11, 2008 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... We started a 1960's supers game. Here are some highlights: ------------------ Star Ranger (OOC): Since the benefit is for blind kids, Ill requisition a lot of the more "hands on" displays. A lot of the models of things. Gold Guardian (OOC): Sturdy models! ----------------- GM: One of these days we're gonna be Undead, and its gonna be all your fault! ----------------- Gold Guardian thinks the "villain" may be a minor... Gold Guardian: Ok, wheres your Mommy? She-Devil: Probably dead. Or in Minneapolis. Star Ranger *sotto voce*: Same thing... ------------------ GM: Shes not dumb. Shes actually quite a smart little cracker...but her cheese is just kind of sliding off... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drhoz Posted October 11, 2008 Report Share Posted October 11, 2008 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Weldun GM : "I have to make sure you guys do as much cultural damage as possible on each world before you leave - otherwise it's just another Sliders episode." This version of Earth is late Stone Age. Terminus OOC : "My god - We're in a time before hats!" Zero OOC : "Quick, to the patent office!" Weldun GM : "They do seem to be practicing animal husbandry." Zero OOC : "That'll be illegal one day, so enjoy it while you can." Purrdence's Smut Field ( Transform, AoE, any sentence into double entendre at the very least ) was obviously in full swing, judging by most of the conversations yesterday. It even corrupted the The Game of Life. We *started* with a gay couple, a lesbian couple who promptly had female twins ( and rode it what became known as the Purple Estrogen-Mobile), and Barbara who couldn't decide between them and had a menagé a trois. Barbara's trio reaches one of the more lucrative squares. "We celebrate!" Her blue person-peg falls out of the car. Me : "You celebrate so hard your husband can't stand up.:D" At another square - Barbara : "'Choose the Path of Life, or the Risky Path of Life'" Me :"You're in an illegal menagé a trois and driving backwards down a mountain road - why break the habits of a lifetime now?" We play another round, this time inventing the Redneck Rules. Must be heterosexual, no college degrees, and as many kids as humanly possible. Barbara : "I'm buying the ranch house - I need the room for my guns and stuffed animals." Weldun : "Taxidermied?" Barbara : "No, just stuffed. " Me : "Damn cops, arresting innocent speedsters one minute, stuffing animals in private...":sneaky: Barbara's cop loses her job and switches careers - to Entertainer. Or 'Entertainer' as we keep referring to it. Me : "Must have been that topless calender" Me : "She went from Vice... to vice." Barbara : "There's no salary cap on this one - I could earn a 100k a year!" Me : "That would be quite a... trick." My sportsman, who has been pulled over by Barbara's cop, repeatedly, screams past her *again* immediately after she lost her job. Me triumphantly : "**** you!!!!!" Barbara loses THAT job too. Me : "There's only so far silicone can take you." And changes for a *fifth* time to Doctor Barbara : "I can deliver my own kids - 'Hold still...'" In a total violation of the Heterosexual rule, Weldun had a male driver to start off with - and a career as hairstylist. He played that one to the hilt. Weldun : "Is it just me or am I getting more and more effeminate as this goes on?" Despite five lottery wins in a row, he repeatedly sues the ex-sportsman. Me as I fork over yet more cash. : "This is shut-up money, isn't it?" Weldun : "Yup!" We also come up with the Back To The Future rules - play till you get children then go backwards and screw up your own timeline. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drhoz Posted October 11, 2008 Report Share Posted October 11, 2008 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... The Gunneyto Mr E Magister : Well, you are a demon of pain. Jasmine/3 : So *you're* responsible for Britney. Magister : No I did Jamie. The Gunney : His boss did Britney. Jasmine/3 : So who did Paris Hilton? The Specter, Magister, GM, in perfect synchrony : Everybody. The Gunney : Can we please drag this up to the level of the gutter? The Specter : I dunno, it makes such a lovely stratosphere. Mr E Magister : The Skeleton Crew - where on a clear day you can see the gutter We have to travel to The Western Gate to negotiate a boon from Titania of the Fey. The Spectre : "So... We're going to San Francisco to get a favour from a Queen?" Party enter the Fey realms, and encounter a green guy, shot through the leg with an arrow, and a red guy. The Specter : "One of these guys always tells the truth, one always lies.Everybody knows that one - it's like the Riddle of the Sphinx." Red Guy : "Ooh, don't talk to him about that, he's still bitter." The Specter : "She." Red Guy : "She?" The Specter : "I know you guys don't get out much, but those are breasts." Magister offers them alternative employment, now someone has figured out it's easier to shoot one of them than play the game. Magister : "You, Red, can be a Bonded Messenger, and you, green, can be a PR guy." Green : "I'ld hate that." We also learn who shot Green. A red-headed skank travelling with a fairy and a halfling. Orca OOC : "The Order of the Stick???" The Specter OOC : "We're about to meet the only D&D 'Hero' worse than Vitus. Belkar Bitterleaf." We come to a beach, studded with combs. We avoid the obvious puns as long as possible. Magister : "I'm waiting for the bees to show up." The Specter : "Bees?" Magister : "Yes, for the honeycomb." It gets worse, particularly when a siren tries to seduce Orca. Orca to Siren : "Yes, you're very pretty, but I really can't come swimming with you." Vitus irritated by delay: "For one thing he'd split you in half." Orca OOC thoughtfully : "STR 60 Grab..." The Spectre does a mime, with wet balloon sound effects. Magister, Spectre, & Jasmine OOC : "There's always time for lube!" Magister : "You see that red thing up there?" The Specter : "The Skeleton Crew - Where The Gutter Has A Red Shift" We're attacked by a creature of Myth. The Kraken. With tentacles 15 kilometres long.Jasmine/3 wants to know if the siren shows up dead. The Specter : "No, we're on a different beach - the Son-of-a-beach" Magister OOC : "I've already done that joke" Vitus OOC : "Didn't get any laughs then, either" The Spectre OOC : "I was hoping for at least a groan" Magister OOC : "A Titus Groan?" Vitus OOC : "It was a Gormenghastly pun." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Major Tom Posted October 12, 2008 Report Share Posted October 12, 2008 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... My brain just went crosseyed from imagining Vitus as a stick-figure antihero... On the other hand, I can't ever recall seeing any mention of Vitus carrying a thin lead sheet on his person in order to foil attempts to determine if he's good or evil -- then again, all a paladin (or someone with similar abilities) has to do is just watch Vitus in action. The rest, as they say, is a no- brainer. Major Tom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remjin Posted October 12, 2008 Report Share Posted October 12, 2008 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... crap, I gotta stop posting while I'm inebriated... I just put down the stupidest most moronic rep ever. Sorry Dr Hoz. I'd offer you to kick me in the jimmy if we were in any geographical proximity, but you would have to get in line... funny stuff! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drhoz Posted October 12, 2008 Report Share Posted October 12, 2008 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... crap' date=' I gotta stop posting while I'm inebriated... I just put down the stupidest most moronic rep ever. Sorry Dr Hoz. I'd offer you to kick me in the jimmy if we were in any geographical proximity, but you would have to get in line... funny stuff![/quote'] Yeah, I'll just try to ensure my wife never gets her hands on you either - she plays 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drhoz Posted October 12, 2008 Report Share Posted October 12, 2008 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... My brain just went crosseyed from imagining Vitus as a stick-figure antihero... On the other hand, I can't ever recall seeing any mention of Vitus carrying a thin lead sheet on his person in order to foil attempts to determine if he's good or evil -- then again, all a paladin (or someone with similar abilities) has to do is just watch Vitus in action. The rest, as they say, is a no- brainer. Then he'd be in for a surprise, because Vitus is True Neutral - a very cranky one, but neutral Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ian Mackinder Posted October 12, 2008 Report Share Posted October 12, 2008 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Then he'd be in for a surprise' date=' because Vitus is True Neutral - a very cranky one, but neutral[/quote'] My own D&D experience leads me to believe that most True Neutrals are thus solely so they can whale on EVERYBODY, without having to worry about moral dilemmas and the like. Everything I have ever heard about Vitus seems to confirm this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Egyptoid Posted October 12, 2008 Report Share Posted October 12, 2008 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Everything I have ever heard about Vitus seems to confirm this. But we aren't there in that game, And its okay since Vitus is so cool. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ian Mackinder Posted October 12, 2008 Report Share Posted October 12, 2008 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... But we aren't there in that game, And its okay since Vitus is so cool. Fair enough. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tim Posted October 12, 2008 Report Share Posted October 12, 2008 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... I played in a game of "Demon Hunter" yesterday. We had a couple of memorable quote. One character was a robot who was a coward. Him: "Danger is my middle name." Me: "And Avoid is your first." "How many plot points does it take to summon the Purple Ninja?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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