BlackCobra Posted September 27, 2008 Report Share Posted September 27, 2008 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... More memorable quotes from our Ancient Greek Heroes (Heracles' Children). Our friend Callisto has been kidnapped. We burst into the largest hut/house in the Evil Village, where we find a bunch of worshipers and the Evil Bad Guy on a throne. Hector (OOC): "Is Callisto there Princess Leia'd?" ------------------ Pelorious (OOC): "It's ok to nail goddesses if it's on their own altar." ------------------------------------------------------------------------ From my D&D Everybody Plays a Dragon campaign: After someone commented how the massive army of undead was no big deal: Tom (Warlock, brass dragon): "Hey, what about the 3 square miles of zombies!? They took me all night! No appreciates the little things." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghost-angel Posted September 27, 2008 Report Share Posted September 27, 2008 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Last two sessions of the The Defenders Champions game. VIPER has control of some of the worlds only working Powered Armor, and invade a Central American country. Inertia: Do you want to go beat up some people out of the country so you don't get arrested for vigilantism? Built To Last: S- Yes! Inertia (OOC): Stop complaining. And besides, you managed to un-Stun yourself with math. (Post-Fight) Inertia: I want to hit Diamondback, because I'm the only one who didn't get to. On Built To Lasts inability to disguise that he's lying to other members of the group. Built To Last: Am I lying? Promethean: No. Built To Last: aawww. Inertia (OOC): You just broke Merideth with your stupidity. When we get home I'll give you a sticker. Merideth is Inertia's Secret ID, an ADD-paranoid with logic issues. Inertia: Did you just say "reverse-google"? On what we do if we've kidnapped the wrong person for questioning. Built To Last: They we tell him we're very sorry, and he should pay his taxes. Two conversations are going on Built To Last and Enigma; Promethean, Inertia and the GM. *conversation lulls* Enigma: I like that idea. Inertia & Promethean *panic mode*: WAIT! GO BACK! GO BACK! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drhoz Posted September 28, 2008 Report Share Posted September 28, 2008 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Recovering a book written on a sentient's skin and written in blood. The dedication reads "I'd like to thank John Smith for really putting himself into this book" Guards : "It's made of people!" Avatar : "Yes, it's a terrible storage medium." Avatar : "Oh, it's a book of evil magic." Zero : "Well, I didn't think it was a list of his old girlfriends. .... Made from them, possibly..." Zero : "We've got the most oblivious member of the party... Oh, no we don't Avatar's away. Secondmost oblivious team-member, AND the expert on throbbing brain-meats, agreeing that you're acting very strangely." Terminus : "I'm going to dive between Trawler's legs and come up punching Zero." GM : "This is going to be a surprise attack..." Zero : "Yes, I wasn't expecting an attack from anything between Trawler's legs." Trawler : "He's starting to get aggressive, isn't he?" GM : "He just stabbed you with psionic lance!" Trawler : "But he didn't hit me in the nuts - I count that as friendly." Zero : "Right, I'm getting out the telepathic Luminol and dusting his brain for the biggest, bloodiest, neuroses I can find." GM : "You can now give your teammates 17pts of Hardened Defense. Trawler and Terminus are going to love you." Purrdence : " ... Oh, HARDENED defence... I thought I misheard that." Terminus OOC : "Yes, the alternative would be a chastity belt." And in the evening game - Mr E Magister's Player : "How many characters go 'I'ld like to be able to do Killing damage to myself'?" Me : "I dunno, associate with this party long enough and I can see the appeal." GM wants to know what we're up to in the lead-up to the big showdown. Vitus : "Practising my sword work." The Gunney's player : "You want to be a Wizard-cleric-fighter?" Mr E Magister's Player : "Wizard-cleric-rogue-fighter" The Gunney's player : "Rogue?" Mr E Magister's Player : "He's already stealing stuff." Vitus : "I can't help being a polymath." The Gunney calls in a favour to remove a shopping mall built atop the Canadian elements of the geomantic cannon. Sundog GM : "Some sort of heat-beam was used to cut the building to pieces. Witnesses report a tripodic machine on the horizon." Void : "If we had one more mage we could play 'who would you shag/who would you marry/ who would you kill'." The Spectre : "We have a third! And I'd happily shag her... If Jasmine would let me." Maurel, daughter of the Fey, made a deal with Vitus - she'd give him an crucial element for the geomantic cannon, an army, and a way home. All Vitus has to do is murder her parents. Vitus is fine with this. Vitus To Duke Hellespont : "I've been trying to remember the best way to declare a duel, and I think I have it - That your daughter exists at all is a source of constant amazement to me, because your natural proclivities lie with farm animals." Half the party weigh up letting Vitus go ahead. Either the Duke of Vitus die, and they come out ahead. Void : "I ask myself - How mad would the Gunney be?" Jasmine/3 : "We should get bracelets made - HMWTGB?" Alas Vitus's plan is neatly frustrated when the Duke of Fey apologises for any offence. Void : "I'm not that interested in Maurel, or Jasmine." Jasmine/3 : "You appeared in the Skeleton Crew sex tape!" Vitus OOC : "In the background, making thumbs-up signs..." Void : "Yesss... If I ever come out to my girlfriend about being The Void, I'll have some explaining to do..." Mr E Magister : "Well, Orca and I can grab an I-beam each..." Orca : "What? How do I grab an eye-beam?" Team members try to talk Vitus out of the deal Void : If you shut up he can answer. Jasmine/3's player : You were a teacher in a past life, weren't you? Mr E Magister's player : I was a Scoutmaster Jasmine/3's player : " 'Evan the Scoutmaster'." Orca's player : "Now I have a name for the guy that can catch eye-beams." The Gunney's player : "'I have a badge for that.'" Vitus doesn't take the frustration and badgering well. Vitus : "In all the time I've been here, not one of you has asked me why I am so desperate to restore my world. I want to see my family again when I die! I've been loyal to my clan! To the Living Ra! I've honoured the gods of Samuria! I deserve my place in the peaceful lands and if I don't restore Aura then it's afterlife will never exist again either!" Maurel : "Vitus has been touched by the divine." Vitus OOC : "Touched by the Divinyls" Jasmine/3 OOC : "Na, they only touch themselves" Maurel : "The army and the focusing crystal are yours the moment I set my tight little rump on the throne." Void : "She does have a tight little rump..." Maurel : "Walk this way..." Mr E Magister OOC : "My hips don't work like that" Vitus OOC"I don't have a tight little rump" Magister's player points out that using Oberon's or Mabd's gates are out of the question because former team-members grossly insulted both. Vitus OOC : "Isn't it nice when I'm the most tactful & diplomatic party-member?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teh bunneh Posted September 28, 2008 Report Share Posted September 28, 2008 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... From this week's D&D4 game: The heroes come upon some remains: Kaliope: Loot the bodies! Cletus: No, burn the bodies! Slade: Could we, I dunno, actually investigate things before we start burning and looting? Kaliope: You’re new here, aren’t you? The guy who was playing our Dragonborn fighter is running the game this week, so Ongoron is not in the group: Kaliope: I’m not worried, as long as I’ve got the dragonborn to hide behind. Oh, s**t. Trying to sneak through some ruins... GM: Cletus, what’d you roll for stealth? Cletus: Uh… 5. GM: OK, Cletus is playing the mouth harp over there… We're attacked by surprise! GM: Out of the undergrowth, come… Kip: Bunnies! GM: Sigh. No. Our wizard hasn't been rolling so well... Kaliope: Quick! Hit him with a burning hands spell! GM: Don’t you mean, “Quick, miss him with a burning hands spell”? Our rogue sneak-attacks someone: GM: Kip stabs him so hard he loses his dagger. Our cleric (Cletus) is killed in battle: Slade: Uh oh, we’re down one good-aligned character! What shall we do with Cletus' body? Slade: We need to gather up all of Cletus’ parts; they charge us extra for the rez if we don’t have a full set. Kaliope: How much to rez him if all we’ve got is… Our (late) cleric was known for being somewhat stingy with his healing spells... Kip: Can’t you heal people like the cleric? Slade: I’m not that kind of healer. GM: Neither was Cletus! After the cleric died (in the first round): GM: I don’t think I’ve ever broken a party’s spirit before… this quickly. Our rogue has some trouble with his math... Kip: I rolled… let’s see… 6+7=11 GM: That’s 13. Kip: Oh, right, sorry. I’ve got a 6 IQ. After killing a hoard of rats: Kip: I'm going to make a beautiful coat out of the rat skins. Slade: Dude… Is Charisma your dump stat? No, actually Intelligence is Kip's dump stat: Kip: I’m like a special-needs child who likes stabbing things. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tim Posted September 28, 2008 Report Share Posted September 28, 2008 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... No, actually Intelligence is Kip's dump stat: Kip: I’m like a special-needs child who likes stabbing things. He's Beklar! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Netzilla Posted September 28, 2008 Report Share Posted September 28, 2008 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... We play-tested my Hyborean Hero con game. The cast: Alfhild - Vanir siedkona & priestess of Yimir. Bjorn - Aesir berserker Ingdor - Aesir warrior & Bjorn's brother Gorm - Vanir mercenary captain Hlin - Orphan thief raised on the streets of Shadizar and cousin of Bjorn & Ingdor Sigyn - Brythunian alchemist & escaped slave of Vanir descent Wulfhere - Aesir hunter & youngest brother of Bjorn & Ingdor (run as an NPC since no one picked him) Of the three ladies (Alfhild, Hlin & Sigyn), one, Alfhild, was being played by one of guys in our group. One of the pre-gens (who was an NPC since no one picked him) had just gotten his head ripped off by an unknown thing in the dark. GM: Who's going through first? Alfhild: being played by a guy: Women and children first! GM: Wait, you're playing a women. Alfhild (OOC): Don't tell them that (jesturing to the other two ladies). ***** Ingdor, running in to back up a berserked Bjorn: I give our secret enraged battle cry: It's me, don't hit me! ***** Hlin: I'm scared, there's beheadedness everywhere. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remjin Posted September 29, 2008 Report Share Posted September 29, 2008 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... And this week in our continuing D&D 4e saga, our young 9 year old, playing Liberty, has more to say... ****************************** GM: "He surrenders, and you have him tied up... you still want your action?" Liberty: "Yep. I shoot him with my bow." ****************************** Captured goblin: "I'll surrender! I'll cook for you, carry your stuff... I have nine children! Look, I can dance!..." *dance dance* Liberty: *creeeeeaaaaak* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Obvious Posted September 29, 2008 Report Share Posted September 29, 2008 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... And this week in our continuing D&D 4e saga, our young 9 year old, playing Liberty, has more to say... ****************************** GM: "He surrenders, and you have him tied up... you still want your action?" Liberty: "Yep. I shoot him with my bow." ****************************** Captured goblin: "I'll surrender! I'll cook for you, carry your stuff... I have nine children! Look, I can dance!..." *dance dance* Liberty: *creeeeeaaaaak* Heh...it took us a while to get the concept of surrender through to my son. For the longest time, he'd come up with one of his toy guns and tell you to put your hands up. When you did, he'd shoot... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jkwleisemann Posted September 29, 2008 Report Share Posted September 29, 2008 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... From my D&D Everybody Plays a Dragon campaign: After someone commented how the massive army of undead was no big deal: Tom (Warlock, brass dragon): "Hey, what about the 3 square miles of zombies!? They took me all night! No appreciates the little things." Uhm... did anybody else point out how horrifying that quote could end up being if you think about it too much? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karmakaze Posted September 29, 2008 Report Share Posted September 29, 2008 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Captured goblin: "I'll surrender! I'll cook for you' date=' carry your stuff... I have nine children! Look, I can dance!..." *dance dance*[/quote'] This reminds me of the "Best. Hostage. Ever." Our heroes had managed to surprise one of the villains in his home. He thought over the odds and just surrendered. (The players didn't realize quite how flatfooted they'd caught him.) He then offered them healing and a safe place to sleep for the night. Being a little ragged, they "secured" him and rested. They woke in the morning to find that he'd released himself... and was in the kitchen making enough waffles and hot chocolate for the whole party. This has lead to a running joke in our gaming group. "Best. Hostage. Ever." "He made us waffles!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teh bunneh Posted September 29, 2008 Report Share Posted September 29, 2008 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... He's Beklar! Actually, our whole party is Belkar. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teh bunneh Posted September 29, 2008 Report Share Posted September 29, 2008 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... No' date=' actually Intelligence is Kip's dump stat:[/i'] Kip: I’m like a special-needs child who likes stabbing things. Heh. Kip's player saw this and said, "No, you got my quote wrong. What I said is I'm like a special-needs child who's good at stabbing things." "...Though I do like stabbing things, too." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Korvar Posted September 30, 2008 Report Share Posted September 30, 2008 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... "Best. Hostage. Ever." "He made us waffles!" ”I like to think of myself more as a ‘guestage’." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shadowsoul Posted September 30, 2008 Report Share Posted September 30, 2008 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... I believe there's some kind of syndrome that explains this sort of behaviour but I don't think it usually works that fast. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sgt_Pedro Posted September 30, 2008 Report Share Posted September 30, 2008 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... This may be a "you had to have been there" moment, but bear with me. The setup is a small group of supers, one of whom is a former Bad Guy who happens to be a lich. Full on skeleton guy, walking around in a robe, talking a few decibels too loudly. So, we're trying to sneak into this doctor's office to confront him about the Nefarious Deeds he's been committing. The Blaster goes in as a normal patient, my martial artist just Stealth's his way in, and I suggest to the Mystic Lich "You should just teleport into his screening room, take off your robe, and stand at the position of attention in the corner!" Let's see who doesn't get it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted September 30, 2008 Report Share Posted September 30, 2008 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... "There is no Gnomish god of Forensic Proctology, either." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
matrix3 Posted September 30, 2008 Report Share Posted September 30, 2008 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... "There is no Gnomish god of Forensic Proctology' date=' either."[/quote'] Heh, that reminds me of the "100 things I'm not allowed to do while gaming." I can't find the original I read, but here's a link to something similar over on Giant in the Playground. Example: 3. There is no Gnomish god of heavy artillery. or 22. There is no such thing as a Gnomish Pygmy War Rhino. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlackCobra Posted September 30, 2008 Report Share Posted September 30, 2008 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Originally Posted by BlackCobra From my D&D Everybody Plays a Dragon campaign: After someone commented how the massive army of undead was no big deal: Tom (Warlock, brass dragon): "Hey, what about the 3 square miles of zombies!? They took me all night! No appreciates the little things." Uhm... did anybody else point out how horrifying that quote could end up being if you think about it too much? It's worse than you think. He was complaining because he spent all night taking out the giant army of zombies by using the Warlock invocation which creates a small field of writhing, bone-chillingly cold tentacles of darkness, which thrash around and squeeze things. Because he's a Warlock, and can create another field every round, he had to carpet the battlefield with them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Major Tom Posted September 30, 2008 Report Share Posted September 30, 2008 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... This may be a "you had to have been there" moment, but bear with me. The setup is a small group of supers, one of whom is a former Bad Guy who happens to be a lich. Full on skeleton guy, walking around in a robe, talking a few decibels too loudly. So, we're trying to sneak into this doctor's office to confront him about the Nefarious Deeds he's been committing. The Blaster goes in as a normal patient, my martial artist just Stealth's his way in, and I suggest to the Mystic Lich "You should just teleport into his screening room, take off your robe, and stand at the position of attention in the corner!" Let's see who doesn't get it This is probably the first time that I've ever heard of a PC being asked to masquerade as a display skeleton in a doctor's office...but as a bare-bones sort of plan, it's not too bad. Major Tom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Obvious Posted September 30, 2008 Report Share Posted September 30, 2008 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... This is probably the first time that I've ever heard of a PC being asked to masquerade as a display skeleton in a doctor's office...but as a bare-bones sort of plan, it's not too bad. Major Tom It's a decent start to a plan, but needs a little fleshing-out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susano Posted September 30, 2008 Report Share Posted September 30, 2008 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... I hope the guy can put up with a lot of ribbing for a stunt like that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Egyptoid Posted October 1, 2008 Report Share Posted October 1, 2008 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... what if he mis-teleports? and ends up in the closet ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Major Tom Posted October 1, 2008 Report Share Posted October 1, 2008 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Then he'll just have to break out his copy of "Teleportation for Dummies" and bone up on the section on "Teleporting to the spot you're aiming at". Major Tom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
csyphrett Posted October 1, 2008 Report Share Posted October 1, 2008 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... My son had to write definitions for spelling words as his homework. One of his words was Sarcastic. I told him to write in "Dad." My wife was less than amused. CES Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bubba smith Posted October 1, 2008 Report Share Posted October 1, 2008 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... an army of skeletons isn' it a bit early for haloween? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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