Guest Major Tom Posted March 1, 2005 Report Share Posted March 1, 2005 Re: (In Character) The Q.U.A.R.K. Column begins anew! Hey! I thought this was Q.U.A.R.K's advice colulmn!? Why is this Major Tom doing all the work? Come on Q.U.A.R.K! WAKE UP! I don't look at this as work... Think of it more as an application for an apprentice- ship position with SSM. Besides which, there were a few days lately that I haven't been able to scope out this column due to my responsibilities as a space pirate. Major Tom Aspiring Evil Advice Contributor At Large Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steriaca Posted April 22, 2012 Report Share Posted April 22, 2012 Re: (In Character) The Q.U.A.R.K. Column begins anew! Dear Fellow No-Do-Wells, And Mr. Q.U.A.R.K., I did say I would get back to you on how well it went. Well, it is better late than never. I just excaped the jail I was in for atempting the deathtrap thing. And durring my time, thay forced me into a series of sevear sessons with a psycologist. I will have to lie low for about a few years before reserfacing again, so this should be my last post for a while. Sinserly, Mr. Reginal Wicked, melodramatic villian. (OOC: Did some necroposting because after going back and reading this stuff, I noticed that I diden't get a chance to report on Mr. Wickid's plan, AND got an ideal for a post.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nothere Posted April 22, 2012 Report Share Posted April 22, 2012 Re: (In Character) The Q.U.A.R.K. Column begins anew! Well whoever is giving the advice I need some. As the Crimsion Claw I've had a pretty good success rate as a mid tier villian, but now I have a shot at the big leauges. I recently stole an object from a creepy estate. As seems to be the way of these things, as I was checking it out, I accidently summoned a demon. It made the typical aswome power for your soul deal. But no fool I, I said no. Then I offered to feed it other people's souls. It's counter proposal is 1/3 of my soul and ten other people. As I still retain 2/3 this seems to be a pretty good bargin. But it is a Demon, so I suspect a trick somewhere. Should I stick to my guns, and offer no part of my soul, take the deal, or hide in the nearest church for a few months? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lawnmower Boy Posted April 23, 2012 Report Share Posted April 23, 2012 Re: (In Character) The Q.U.A.R.K. Column begins anew! Practically, dear Crimson Claw, we shall have to distinguish two possibilities. The first is that you might be dealing with a demon lord out of times a-gone, for the tread of whose dominating feet the very dust of the earth cries out in longing. In that case, you must throw yourself before He Who Once Was Lord And Shall Be Again. The second is that it's some no-account Netherworld trash, in which case I recommend that you get yourself a good lawyer. I have several, and they have proven vastly useful to my schemes to restore the rule of the Throne of Human Ivory. But enough about the Supreme Court. Let me know how it works out! Takofanes, King Forever. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Major Tom 2009 Posted April 23, 2012 Report Share Posted April 23, 2012 Re: (In Character) The Q.U.A.R.K. Column begins anew! If all else fails, he can always pay a visit to the local medium in whatever city he's in, and see if he (or she) can get a hold of Daniel Webster. Any lawyer who can beat Old Scratch in a contractual dispute is definitely someone you want in your corner. Major Tom 2009 A.K.A. Dirty Tom Rackham, Slave Driver and Pirate Scourge of the Spaceways Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Major Tom 2009 Posted April 23, 2012 Report Share Posted April 23, 2012 Re: (In Character) The Q.U.A.R.K. Column begins anew! Dear Fellow No-Do-Wells, And Mr. Q.U.A.R.K., I did say I would get back to you on how well it went. Well, it is better late than never. I just excaped the jail I was in for atempting the deathtrap thing. And durring my time, thay forced me into a series of sevear sessons with a psycologist. I will have to lie low for about a few years before reserfacing again, so this should be my last post for a while. Sinserly, Mr. Reginal Wicked, melodramatic villian. (OOC: Did some necroposting because after going back and reading this stuff, I noticed that I diden't get a chance to report on Mr. Wickid's plan, AND got an ideal for a post.) Well, if nothing else, your forced hiatus will give you plenty of time to plan a suitable means of retaliation against your psychologist. Of course, if said psychologist is female, that's just frosting on the cake for a villain of your caliber, especially given your modus operandi. It'll also give you plenty of time to make all of those connections with those wonderful people in the Underworld who specialize in creating the hardware for deathtraps that you haven't had time to make in the past. Major Tom 2009 A.K.A. Dirty Tom Rackham, Slave Driver and Pirate Scourge of the Spaceways Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lawnmower Boy Posted April 25, 2012 Report Share Posted April 25, 2012 Re: (In Character) The Q.U.A.R.K. Column begins anew! Well, if nothing else, your forced hiatus will give you plenty of time to plan a suitable means of retaliation against your psychologist. Of course, if said psychologist is female, that's just frosting on the cake for a villain of your caliber, especially given your modus operandi. It'll also give you plenty of time to make all of those connections with those wonderful people in the Underworld who specialize in creating the hardware for deathtraps that you haven't had time to make in the past. Major Tom 2009 A.K.A. Dirty Tom Rackham, Slave Driver and Pirate Scourge of the Spaceways Get a room, funboys! No. Seriously. Get a room. You know Interface reads this column, right? One day he's a swingin' dude, next he's got nothing under his tightie-whities but shiny metal underoos. The frustration! So think of the poor, suffering master villain, and keep it to yourselves! /s/ The Goddamn Foxbat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steriaca Posted April 28, 2012 Report Share Posted April 28, 2012 Re: (In Character) The Q.U.A.R.K. Column begins anew! Get a room, funboys! No. Seriously. Get a room. You know Interface reads this column, right? One day he's a swingin' dude, next he's got nothing under his tightie-whities but shiny metal underoos. The frustration! So think of the poor, suffering master villain, and keep it to yourselves! /s/ The Goddamn Foxbat. My dear "presadent" Foxbat, You, sir, are losing your villian credits. Running for office as Presadent of the United States of America? Are you supose to be aganist eveything goodness and light stands for, as opose to upholding law and order? As for Interface, who did you think created Q.U.A.K.E. in the first place? Now, to Dirty Tom Rackham. I have found one of my abandoned wairhouses unmolested by heros and the police. Most of my acounts were frozen, but my costume (compleat with hidden weapions) and some small prison space and deathtraps are in working order. My henchmen, thoe, have basicly left for greener pasters (mostly through VIPER). Do you know of any orginzation which could suply me some henchmen on order? Prehaps this ARGENT orginzation I herd about through the prison grapevine... Mr. Reginal Wicked, no-do-well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Major Tom 2009 Posted April 28, 2012 Report Share Posted April 28, 2012 Re: (In Character) The Q.U.A.R.K. Column begins anew! My dear "presadent" Foxbat, You, sir, are losing your villian credits. Running for office as Presadent of the United States of America? Are you supose to be aganist eveything goodness and light stands for, as opose to upholding law and order? As for Interface, who did you think created Q.U.A.K.E. in the first place? Now, to Dirty Tom Rackham. I have found one of my abandoned wairhouses unmolested by heros and the police. Most of my acounts were frozen, but my costume (compleat with hidden weapions) and some small prison space and deathtraps are in working order. My henchmen, thoe, have basicly left for greener pasters (mostly through VIPER). Do you know of any orginzation which could suply me some henchmen on order? Prehaps this ARGENT orginzation I herd about through the prison grapevine... Mr. Reginal Wicked, no-do-well. Mr. Wicked: have you considered looking up the Fiendish Order of Evil (F.O.E.) or whichever organization has assumed its responsibilities? I'm sure that said organization would be willing to provide a somewhat more loy- al class of henchman for your villainous activities (not to mention providing whatever legal advice and/or representation may be required as a result of said activities). As for ARGENT, they're probably your best bet for some of the more sophisticated deathtrap equipment which is available these days; any personnel that you might hire from them should probably be technicians who can ensure that your diabolical deathtraps are in perfect working order when you need them. About your warehouse HQ: I'd go over the entire place with a fine-toothed comb before setting up shop in it; just because it appears to have been missed by the police and local superteam (or Heaven forbid, whatever mystery-solving, meddling kids and their talking dog might be living nearby) doesn't necessarily mean that they're not keeping a discreet eye on the premises on the off-chance that you might be setting up shop there. If that is indeed the case, they've probably got it wired for sound and video in the hopes that, if you do pick up where you left off, you'll give them probable cause to toss you back into the calaboose. Major Tom 2009 A.K.A. Dirty Tom Rackham, Slave Driver and Pirate Scourge of the Spaceways Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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