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NGD Scenes from a Hat


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NT: The Russians have been trying to kill every stray dog in Sochi to prevent them from interfering with the Olympics. This offends Petey the Stone Cold Penguin (Mascot of the sport of Curling). What will he do about it?

 

Lock them all in their bathrooms, and hope none of them are as strong as the American bobsledders.

 

New Topic: So 'slopestyle' is an Olympic sport now, apparently. What other winter(-ish) activities will become Olympic sports in the future?

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New Topic: So 'slopestyle' is an Olympic sport now, apparently. What other winter(-ish) activities will become Olympic sports in the future?

Dunno, but it'll no doubt be some d***ed stupid mumble mumble mumble deprecations mumble mumble thing which is scored on what corrupt nationalistic judges think about "style" and not on objective measures like time, goals scored, targets hit, body count, etc.
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NT:  Real reasons for Bob Costas's eye problems

He found documentary proof of what everyone has always suspected was the REAL reason there is so much women's ice skating and gymnastics shown on all Olympic TV coverage: that network executives are all perverts with unnatural lust for 12-year-old girls.

 

NBC's enforcers "reminded" him what would happen if he went public with this.

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NT: Subtle signs that Petey the Stone Cold Penguin (Mascot of the sport of Curling) has had a little too much vodka tonight,

 

 

He just made a pass at the entire Japanese women's curling team.

Which was successful (a subtle sign that the Japanese women's curling team had also had too much vodka).

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(Pssst! That's three!)

Actually, Michael's post is a comment on a response.  So for the third:

 

Petey decides to get every hair on his body curled (including eyebrows and nose hair).  After all, he is the Mascot of Curling.

 

NT: Reasons for Michael's (perhaps unhealthy) fixation on Petey the Stone Cold Penguin (Mascot of the sport of Curling).

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Actually, Michael's post is a comment on a response.

So it is. D'oh!

 

NT: Reasons for Michael's (perhaps unhealthy) fixation on Petey the Stone Cold Penguin (Mascot of the sport of Curling).

Too many fish sticks for dinner, too many nights in a row.

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NT: Ways to placate the weather gods so that everybody gets normal weather. We have floods in Britain and America has bad snowstorms so be creative people.

"The weather gods have forsaken us! What shall we do, Brother?"

"Get in the car. We're going to the zoo to sacrifice another polar bear."

"Isn't that what ticked them off in the first place?"

"No. They hate polar bears. That's why they're getting rid of the ice caps."

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NT: Ways to placate the weather gods so that everybody gets normal weather. We have floods in Britain and America has bad snowstorms so be creative people.

 

Have the leaders of the IOC promise in writing that they will never award the WINTER Olympics to a warm-weather venue like Sochi ever, ever again.

 

New Topic: What are the Russians going to do with all the venues at Sochi once the Olympic Games have ended? (Difficulty: Nothing to do with sports.)

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