Cancer Posted November 4, 2011 Report Share Posted November 4, 2011 Re: Musings on Random Musings Part of an answering machine prompt long ago: "To start global thermonuclear war, press 1. For instant sexual gratification, press 2. To have a parking ticket fixed, press 3. Or stay on the line to leave a message." This was riotously funny until he had a message left that consisted of nothing but the sound of someone leaning on the 2 button and a female voice screaming, "IT'S NOT WORKING!! IT'S NOT WORKING!!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
L. Marcus Posted November 4, 2011 Report Share Posted November 4, 2011 Re: Musings on Random Musings , actually. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Klytus Posted November 5, 2011 Report Share Posted November 5, 2011 Re: Musings on Random Musings Part of an answering machine prompt long ago: "To start global thermonuclear war, press 1. For instant sexual gratification, press 2. To have a parking ticket fixed, press 3. Or stay on the line to leave a message." This was riotously funny until he had a message left that consisted of nothing but the sound of someone leaning on the 2 button and a female voice screaming, "IT'S NOT WORKING!! IT'S NOT WORKING!!" To claim victory, press 1 To play golf, press 4 If you've just had food, press 8 To say no in German, press 9 For English money, press # Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted November 5, 2011 Report Share Posted November 5, 2011 Re: Musings on Random Musings something i thought up a long long time ago: Deaf Schitzo Did you hear about the Deaf Schitzo who had conversations with himself? He wasn't quite sure if he would be home so he set up an answering machine service for the 'voices', so they could leave a message. It went something like this: 'Please leave a message after the beep, and when I can hear what your message is, I'll get back to you...' This led to: (spoilered for use of contraceptive device, just in case) 'Hello you have dialled Fred, all our lines are busy at the moment. God if that is you, or if you are a friend of his, or just plain holy, press '1' now. If you are a friend or a foe press '2'. Satan if that is you, press '666'. If you are an employee of Satan, I cannot take your call at the moment as I don't have the required extension, I suggest you take the matter up with your union. And if you are that little old lady telepath down the street in No. 4, NO I DON'T HAVE ANY MILK, COOKIES OR CONDOMS! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enforcer84 Posted November 5, 2011 Report Share Posted November 5, 2011 Re: Musings on Random Musings Part of an answering machine prompt long ago: "To start global thermonuclear war, press 1. For instant sexual gratification, press 2. To have a parking ticket fixed, press 3. Or stay on the line to leave a message." This was riotously funny until he had a message left that consisted of nothing but the sound of someone leaning on the 2 button and a female voice screaming, "IT'S NOT WORKING!! IT'S NOT WORKING!!" Kudos to all involved. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
James Gillen Posted November 6, 2011 Report Share Posted November 6, 2011 Re: Musings on Random Musings Part of an answering machine prompt long ago: "To start global thermonuclear war, press 1. For instant sexual gratification, press 2. To have a parking ticket fixed, press 3. Or stay on the line to leave a message." This was riotously funny until he had a message left that consisted of nothing but the sound of someone leaning on the 2 button and a female voice screaming, "IT'S NOT WORKING!! IT'S NOT WORKING!!" I woulda been pressing the number 1. JG Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SteveZilla Posted November 6, 2011 Report Share Posted November 6, 2011 Re: Musings on Random Musings So Burger King then Fatal Attraction? Nah, go for something memorable, like a 7-11 hot dog. With free chili & cheese! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SteveZilla Posted November 7, 2011 Report Share Posted November 7, 2011 Re: Musings on Random Musings Surgery course starts tomorrow. I belong to Team Upper Gastro. Thank goodness my upbringing has killed any tendencies to vomit uncontrollably' date=' unless necessary.[/quote'] Did you learn the "grin like a fool" technique that Mike Rowe uses? http://www.youtube.com/watch?src_vid=RjA1lZDaEdY&v=zb1S89vmdUM Note: Don't watch if squeamish. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SteveZilla Posted November 7, 2011 Report Share Posted November 7, 2011 Re: Musings on Random Musings from a bit on the Daily Show, "100% of the people who eat food will DIE!" I LOLed Ironically' date=' 100% of the people who DON'T eat food will die. [/quote'] Well, it's been clearly proven that the leading cause of death is life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted November 7, 2011 Report Share Posted November 7, 2011 Re: Musings on Random Musings Well' date=' it's been clearly proven that the leading cause of death is life. [/quote'] I disagree with the premise. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted November 7, 2011 Report Share Posted November 7, 2011 Re: Musings on Random Musings Layman-speak should be a required course for any sort of technical degree. Well, a refresher on how to once again speak outside one's field makes some sense. But so much of a technical education is training in the jargon of the field, so that one can discuss the technical concepts with which the field is concerned in an efficient and unambiguous way. This necessarily requires building understanding of some concepts which are usually absent from the common vernacular, and giving those concepts specific labels clear to those in the field so they can be invoked quickly when in a technical discussion. The words "force", "momentum", "power", "energy", "impulse" ... all those have very specific meanings in the branch of physics called mechanics, but all of those also appear in the common vernacular with very vague, sloppy meanings. If you make a physicist listen to a TV football commentator for any length of time, they will end up seething in frustration over the random drivel the commentators assign those words to mean. I watch sports broadcasts with the Mute button on, for that among other reasons. When we first got together, my wife and I -- she's an attorney by training -- had "discussions" over what constituted proof, doubt, and uncertainty. In physics and law those things aren't the same. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enforcer84 Posted November 7, 2011 Report Share Posted November 7, 2011 Re: Musings on Random Musings Well, a refresher on how to once again speak outside one's field makes some sense. But so much of a technical education is training in the jargon of the field, so that one can discuss the technical concepts with which the field is concerned in an efficient and unambiguous way. This necessarily requires building understanding of some concepts which are usually absent from the common vernacular, and giving those concepts specific labels clear to those in the field so they can be invoked quickly when in a technical discussion. The words "force", "momentum", "power", "energy", "impulse" ... all those have very specific meanings in the branch of physics called mechanics, but all of those also appear in the common vernacular with very vague, sloppy meanings. If you make a physicist listen to a TV football commentator for any length of time, they will end up seething in frustration over the random drivel the commentators assign those words to mean. I watch sports broadcasts with the Mute button on, for that among other reasons. When we first got together, my wife and I -- she's an attorney by training -- had "discussions" over what constituted proof, doubt, and uncertainty. In physics and law those things aren't the same. Theory of Gravity! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Man Posted November 8, 2011 Report Share Posted November 8, 2011 Re: Musings on Random Musings You mean Law of Gravity. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
James Gillen Posted November 8, 2011 Report Share Posted November 8, 2011 Re: Musings on Random Musings It's possible to violate a law, but it's not possible to violate a theory. JG Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Narf the Mouse Posted November 8, 2011 Report Share Posted November 8, 2011 Re: Musings on Random Musings Well, a refresher on how to once again speak outside one's field makes some sense. But so much of a technical education is training in the jargon of the field, so that one can discuss the technical concepts with which the field is concerned in an efficient and unambiguous way. This necessarily requires building understanding of some concepts which are usually absent from the common vernacular, and giving those concepts specific labels clear to those in the field so they can be invoked quickly when in a technical discussion. The words "force", "momentum", "power", "energy", "impulse" ... all those have very specific meanings in the branch of physics called mechanics, but all of those also appear in the common vernacular with very vague, sloppy meanings. If you make a physicist listen to a TV football commentator for any length of time, they will end up seething in frustration over the random drivel the commentators assign those words to mean. I watch sports broadcasts with the Mute button on, for that among other reasons. When we first got together, my wife and I -- she's an attorney by training -- had "discussions" over what constituted proof, doubt, and uncertainty. In physics and law those things aren't the same. The thing is, everything in a specialized field is pretty much going to stay in that specialized field, unless it can be explained to "Joe Normal". Everyone in a specialized field is "Joe Normal" to other fields, after all. And an important part of comprehension is being able to explain things conveniently and concisely. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lemming Posted November 8, 2011 Report Share Posted November 8, 2011 Re: Musings on Random Musings Theory of Gravity! *Drops a 16 ton weight on Enforcer84* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Man Posted November 8, 2011 Report Share Posted November 8, 2011 Re: Musings on Random Musings Is that a long ton, a short ton, or metric? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tim Posted November 8, 2011 Report Share Posted November 8, 2011 Re: Musings on Random Musings *Drops a 16 ton weight on Enforcer84* So what did you get? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enforcer84 Posted November 8, 2011 Report Share Posted November 8, 2011 Re: Musings on Random Musings You mean Law of Gravity. There was a joke on a British show about "intelligent falling" as an alternate theory to gravity. The joke fell flat as the panel had never encountered Intelligent Design over there. *cry* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
James Gillen Posted November 8, 2011 Report Share Posted November 8, 2011 Re: Musings on Random Musings There was a joke on a British show about "intelligent falling" as an alternate theory to gravity. The joke fell flat as the panel had never encountered Intelligent Design over there. *cry* I would say the Brits are a lot smarter than us, but they DID give us Big Brother and Simon Cowell. JG Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xavier Onassiss Posted November 8, 2011 Report Share Posted November 8, 2011 Re: Musings on Random Musings It's possible to violate a law, but it's not possible to violate a theory. JG ORLY? Can you violate the Laws of Thermodynamics, then? Let me know how that Perpetual Motion Machine works out.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Narf the Mouse Posted November 8, 2011 Report Share Posted November 8, 2011 Re: Musings on Random Musings ORLY? Can you violate the Laws of Thermodynamics' date=' then? Let me know how that Perpetual Motion Machine works out....[/quote'] Certainly. Where would you like your Superconductor and/or Quantum Fluid delivered? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enforcer84 Posted November 8, 2011 Report Share Posted November 8, 2011 Re: Musings on Random Musings So what did you get? Godzilla's paperweight. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazza Posted November 8, 2011 Report Share Posted November 8, 2011 Re: Musings on Random Musings ORLY? Can you violate the Laws of Thermodynamics' date=' then? Let me know how that Perpetual Motion Machine works out....[/quote'] Will do, as soon as I build it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkdguy Posted November 8, 2011 Report Share Posted November 8, 2011 Re: Musings on Random Musings Did someone say perpetual motion machine? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AfQ3FL0MRXQ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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