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Your PCs might be Underpowered if...

Cybernaut

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Lawnmower Boy Veteran

Lawnmower Boy

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Re: Your PCs might be Underpowered if...

 

Princess Shimmering Sky (Mrs. May Wong): "You can start with the rice, William. Remember, Mr. Wong says that you can take the cover off the pool table when dinner is finished. And here's the last one, sweet and sour, for Bradley. I'll just clear the cartons and be back in a moment."

Wolverine Boy (Billy Tatum): "Oh boy, that's more like it."

Twilight (Nita Guzman): "Watch it, Billy. That's not takeout. It's a recycled container. Mrs. Wong is sneaking sheep tail in again."

Billy T.: "Gross! Brad, that stuff is, like, sweet and sour deep fried sheep bum!"

Nita: "Oh, Brad knows what it is. He just likes it."

Amazing Spleen (Brad Neilson): "Well, it's different from how it usually is. Like, last time, sort of. Then it was kinda gross. But this time, it's even better than usual."

Snakes On A Plane (Jenny Wong): "I... think that's because my Mom put some balsamic vinegar in the sauce, and last time there was too much."

Captain Super-Ultra (Billy Washington): "Did anyone else notice a cold draft there for a..."

Brad: "But what I'd really like to try again is that crazy lamb stroganoff from Lunar New Years."

Mrs. Wong: "I'm sorry, Bradley. It's very hard to get mare's milk with the economy down. And it looks like we're not going to have a foal next year, so we may have to try canning what we have again, or we won't have any proper koumiss for Christmas next year."

Jenny: "But, Mom, what about bringing the Lion Stallion out East to cover Little Wu?"

Mrs. Wong: "Honey, your Dad only has a week before the Chestnut Street renovation starts. That was enough time when we were booked to fly into Kelowna, but the Mechanic says that we just can't be crossing an international border, and there's no way that we can make arrangements through Wenatchee in time."

Jenny: "That sucks."

Mrs. Wong: "Language, dear."

Mrs. Wong: "Anyway, I've already paid Patricia for babysitting, so don't let her saddle you with the Rugrats. You have the phone number of the restaurant, but, if you lose it, it's the Plum Gardens. Give it a few rings, because it'll be just the two of us, the owner, and anyone who can find their way through the mall utility access from any secret underground rooms, totally accidentally."

Nita: "Granpa is not allowed to have chili peppers."

Jenny: "Life would beso much easier if you and Dad would just get cells."

Brad: "Last time Granpa tried to walk it off and ended up rescuing a kid from the Schuylkill. I'll never think "Flame On" the same way again."

Nita: "Maybe you should put Mrs. Crudup in charge of the spicy dishes."

Jenny: "Or a Blackberry."

Mrs. Wong: "Have fun, kids! We'll be back at 11:30, and Mrs. Crudup will be driving us home, so everyone's got a ride except William."

Billy T: "It's okay, I brought my bike."

Billy W.: "So you're okay, unless the Antiques Police show up. Or it suddenly turns into 2009 and we start worrying about emissions."

Billy T.: "You are so jealous of my ride."

Billy W. "Jenny, are you ever going to tell us what you did with the Blue Flame, yesterday?"

Jenny: "Oh, it was so cool! The police let him interrogate Dr. Dekkar, and they let me watch from behind one of those one-way mirror things. Like, an actual one-way mirror. And there was this speaker thing, so I could help him with questions. He was so smooth."

Billy W.: "We have so much to learn about this superheroing thing."

Jenny: "From the questions, I think he might be a detective or a lawyer himself. Anyway, Nita and me were right. Someone sent the Rauchway book to Dekkar. It was even creased to fall open to the bit about my Dad. Any non-maniac would be going, like, "soap opera alert!" That's why the Liberty League and PRIMUS are hovering over my parents, for which thank the Maitreya. And me not being able to ride a genuine blood-sweating stallion at horse shows this fall. Not that I'm bitter."

 

.....

Brad: "Nita, please, are you going to tell me what you meant about "real boyfriend" last week?"

Nita: "Is that still bothering you, Brad? It was just a figure of speech."

The Black Cat (Mrs. Miriam Crudup): "It is bothering the poor boy, dear. He's walking into walls. And he's not wrong, is he?"

Nita: "Is this meant to be some kind of Bandaid ripping moment? 'Cuz it's not. Jenny went out with this UNTIL agent, John, a couple times on vacation to make her Dad happy. It didn't mean anything. Brad, you've got to tell Jenny how you feel."

Mrs. Crudup: "Easy advice to give, hard to take, dear."

Brad: "Something's off here. We've got to go see this "John" guy. Think the Mechanic will lend us the Starracer?"

Nita: "Seeing him will not change anything, Brad. He's an UNTIL agent. You know the type, tall, square-shouldered, chiseled jaw...."

Mrs. Crudup: "Do please be quiet, child."

Brad: "Not what I meant. I'm, need a hankerchief"

Billy W.: "Nita, before they take away your "Matchmaker of the Year" award, shut up. Brad is right."

Nita: "Wow. What colour is the sky on your planet, Billy?"

Billy W.: "Meant it, hush. Look, let me read here from a copy of that book Mr. Secret Mastermind sent Dekkar: "DOSPA's difficulties with sub rosa UNTIL interventions in the United States continued under MacNamara. One of the more notable came late in 1967, when Doctor Dekkar took an apartment building hostage in Philadelphia. The property manager proved to be a local superhero, and in mopping up Dekkar's rather sad efforts, the supervising agents discovered several UNTIL personnel and equipment. Suspicion that Wong's location had been leaked, for reasons of their own, by individuals within either DOSPA or UNTIL have never been allayed in the case of the latter agency."

Also, Muppets."

Nita: "Uhm, what?"

Billy W. "Dr. Dekkar is right. Professor Rauchway does have a website. It has Muppets. It's cool. Much easier to read than this stuff, too. Look, the Wongs go on a family vacation to the old country. An UNTIL agent shows up and romances Jenny. They get back to Philadelphia. Dekkar attacks. A cold, clear lead goes right back to a mole within UNTIL. What happens next?'

Mrs. Crudup: "I would not want to be in this John's shoes when Mr. Wong catches up with him. Not for all the tea in China. Which I had once, for a few hours. The Nazis did some crazy things in the old days."

Billy W. "Unh-unh. What happens next is the trap closes right around Mr. Wong and the Liberty League. Look, my great-great-grandpa says that the one problem with a bear trap is that coyotes steal the bait. We can be the coyotes that foil the trap! Plus, I got my passport last week. Woo! Hong Kong, here we come!"

Nita: "Oroville, actually. They were only in Asia a week and a half. The rest of it they spent in cow-town, Washington. That's where they ran into John. He's with a special investigations unit operating just across the border in Abbotsford, Canada."

Billy W. "That sucks."

Mrs. Crudup: "Language, young man."

Brad: "What? I thought the whole family trip was an "honor the ancestors" thing."

Nita: "Who cares? Summer road trip!"

Mrs. Crudup: "This is dangerous. Very dangerous."

Billy W. "'If not us, then who? If not now, then when?' Says you, Auntie."

Mrs. Crudup: "[sigh.] You can't be taking your car, Billy. Not that far from its mechanic. But you're welcome to take my Airstream and my old Legion credit card, as long as you don't drive after dark, and stay off the Interstate."

.....

Billy T. "This is so cool. I haven't been on a summer road trip since 1990, thereabouts. Wow, crossing the country, again and again, me and my buddies wearing Happy Face shirts to symbolise the renewal of American optimism after the Vietnam War, helping a member of America's natural ruling class adjust to running a fast food chain instead of the army.."

Nita: "I'm pretty sure you'll find that was Forrest Gump, Billy."

Billy T. "Yeah... Wow. What are the odds that I can just come up with the plot of an Academy Award winning movie like that?"

Billy W. "That one? Pretty good? Where did you go on the trip, Billy?"

Billy T. "Oh, I don't remember the unimportant parts. It was all about the Zen. And motorcycle maintenance. This one is about us being ninjas! We are going to move that cheese, Baby."

Brad: "Okay, I'm ready to go!"

Billy W. "Oh, Good Lord. No, Brad, you're not."

Brad: "Hunh?"

Billy W. "You forgot your guitar, Brad. Girls, Brad. Are you trying to be the first living Darwin Award inductee?"

Billy T. "Uh oh. Forgot how close Mrs. Crudup was to campus. Look, you guys finish packing the Airstream, go pick up Jenny, and we'll meet tomorrow at, uhm, the Harding House in Marion. I gotta get outta here."

Nita: "Am I going nuts, or was Billy just spooked by the campus patrol?"

Billy W. "Look again, man. See the lift for the scooter? Billy was spooked by "Paul Blart," campus cop."

Nita: "Paul Blart drives a Segway, not a scooter."

Billy W. "Segways are funnier. Life doesn't always work out funnier. Anyway, Billy can lose him on the road. Unless a high-school-student-on-a-1972-Suzuki-Water-Buffalo-in-bright-yellow-rain-slickers-and-driver's license-that-says-he-was-born-in-1944-ninja turns out to be more conspicuous than the regular kind."

Nita: "Oy. We'd better haul arse. Get to that Chuck-E-Cheez early. You show me how to drive this monster as we go."

Billy W. "What about Brad?"

Nita: "He's bringing 10 kilo-Cobains of mope in his luggage, and thanks to you, his guitar, too. Genius."

Billy W. "Blue highways, blue-hair ride, blue Brad. Woo?"

 

Next: the ultimate menace: Townies! Oh, and the campus cowboys. It's like Supervillain Team-Up, only without Doctor Doom. Or is it? Dunh-dunh-dunh.

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Basil Veteran

Basil

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Re: Your PCs might be Underpowered if...

 

somehow lb these posts of yours dont seem right for this thread

 

Absolutely right. I have no idea what the heck he's doing, but it's not amusing, interesting, fun, useful, or related to the threadS cluttering up with this yatter. I can see no reason to do it, other than to get attention, like jumping up and down and yelling.

 

I've put him on ignore. Perhaps if others did so he'd stop.

 

You (generic) are free to ignore my advice, of course.

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bigbywolfe Grand Master

bigbywolfe

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Re: Your PCs might be Underpowered if...

 

His first couple of posts like that were shorter and directly illustrated some of the situations suggested in the thread, so I don't think he's trying to just get attention or anything, which is a little harsh. However, lb, those posts are getting exceedingly long and they lack any coherent format which makes them difficult to deal with. I gave up reading them after the second or third…

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Lawnmower Boy Veteran

Lawnmower Boy

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Re: Your PCs might be Underpowered if...

 

Ignore does seem a little harsh. You're already free to ignore it. From the repetition, the thread seems to be winding down on its own, and anyway, I was only trying to amuse myself. (Though consider me chastened, anyway.)

It's better than playing in traffic, and the format is pretty limited, so there's not much reason to go on with it. Except... the thing is, a Paul Blart/mall cop/campus cop as rival/antagonist kept coming up, and for reasons I'll explain in my wrap-up on Tuesday, I just didn't think I could get to it quickly.

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SSgt Baloo Veteran

SSgt Baloo

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Re: Your PCs might be Underpowered if...

 

... the most useful ability any of them possesses is asking "Do you want fries with that?"

 

... Mechanon spots them 100 yards in the inevitable race for their lives.

 

... the team mentalist can't even read his own mind.

 

... the team brick needs assistance getting the lid off a jar of pickles.

 

... the team martial artist is punch-drunk from all the times he's accidentally beaned himself.

 

... The team energy projector's big power-up occurred when he bought a box of matches.

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SteveZilla Grand Master

SteveZilla

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Re: Your PCs might be Underpowered if...

 

His first couple of posts like that were shorter and directly illustrated some of the situations suggested in the thread...

 

And I read them at that point.

 

However' date=' lb, those posts are getting exceedingly long and they lack any coherent format which makes them difficult to deal with. I gave up reading them after the second or third…[/quote']

 

Ditto on both points.

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SSgt Baloo Veteran

SSgt Baloo

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Re: Your PCs might be Underpowered if...

 

... unruly toddlers constitute a significant threat to the team.

 

... the team's super-transport has to be back by 10:00 PM or Mom will get MAD!

 

... the last time they failed to duck at the sound of microwave popcorn popping it resulted in several embarassing hours in the Emergency Room.

 

... the team brick wears a truss.

 

... the team speedster uses a walker.

 

... the team energy projector's best attack can be countered with air freshener.

 

... the team martial artist's best attack is accidentally stumbling into his opponent.

 

... the best you can be is the least anyone else can do.

 

... the team's headquarters formerly housed the team refrigerator.

 

... the team refrigerator is the second-fastest member of the team.

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Basil Veteran

Basil

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Re: Your PCs might be Underpowered if...

 

... Their idea of a water cannon is one of these:

 

PW726.jpg

 

...and the nastiest fight the team has been in was with each other, over who got the cool purple one.

 

Dr. Infamous doesn't care who gets the purple one, just so long as he doesn't get stuck with the ugly yellow-green one.

 

 

Dr. Infamous is just one product of Basil's Twisted Imagination, XYZ.

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